Eli

I haven't been here in agesss, but I guess you always go back to where you feel your best hahah 

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend and it took me by surprise when I realized I hadn't been with people from the community in a long time and that was because I was a scary cat!

I feel like the type of relationship you build when you're into the so many different things we're into, trust, respect and self love are bigger deals than in any other "regular" relationship and I didn't know it till I had that conversation, but I guess I was avoiding the intensity that comes from having a relationship with a Dom/Master or anyoneeee else in the community because it meant you really had to trust someone 200% more and maybe I wasn't ready to do it again, but I am now. 

I miss it! I miss not being in control of EVERYTHING and I miss being able to relax around people who truly understand the lifestyle.

Meeting new people drains my energy, but it's something I gotta keep doing cause wow! I haven't had a Dom in ages and I'm ready for one, plus I really wanna make new friends 😂

Man, I miss that feeling you have when the person you love loves you back, when someone makes you feel special and you know they actually mean it, when they give you a hug after not seeing you for a while and you can tell how much they missed you ❤

I think meeting new people drains my energy cause I always see how people act before I show the real me, but I guess most people do the same. No one likes to seem too boring, too "open" or too much and I think that's my biggest fear, being too much for people. 

I talk a lot 😂😂 specially when I'm nervous, I even have a nervous laugh whenever someone's mad at me, I think I can be funny, I'm super open about my emotions so I talk about them but then worry I might seem too eager. 

We're all afraid of rejection even if we face it every single day. Here comes a downer momen, get ready... I've only loved two men in my life and when I was finally letting my guard down the relationships ended, so yes I'm afraid of being there again. I've had constant nightmares when meeting someone new, nightmares where they reject me over and over and treat me with no human decency, but I'm glad in real life I'm strong enough to remove myself from whenever I'm not wanted/needed. 

Talking about this, specially now when ghosting is so common makes me feel less alone. 

Aftercare is soooo important! 

It doesn't matter if you have a Dom or not. Imagine having a rough session with someone or sex that was degrading/humiliating, you will need aftercare even if you're not in a relationship with that person. 

In my case, I usually need it the next day, but if I'm with someone and right after sex they start acting cold, distant or they disregard my emotions completly and act like it was a transaction, then it will affect me even before the next day. It's important to be clear about what you both like and expect, even from a one night stand cause in the end you're both supposed to enjoy the moment and none of you should be left sad, unsatisfied or straight up feeling like a prostitute that got paid and for that reason the other person couldn't care less about treating you like a human. 

Soooo, aftercare people! Try it.

I told her all about the new guy, how sweet and caring he is and how much his family likes me. Pretty much the man she always wanted for me. 

She was happy to see I was "finally moving on" to put it in her own words. 

She said "I knew he wasn't the one for you, he wasn't the right one" when I mentioned you. 

Curiosity kills the cat, but you know me, I rather have a bad time and say what I think than stay quiet. I looked you up, you're happy. After seeing you're good I remembered "No hay mal que dure 100 años ni cuerpo que lo aguante ❤ and God, that made me feel calm. Time doesn't fix everything, but it has been healing me. 

I haven't been here in what feels like ages, but I know it hasn't been that long. 

It's always good to take a break and evaluate if certain things bring happiness to your life and at one point, this place just brought sadness and bad memories. 

Last time I was here, I had a broken heart and it needed to heal. I can't say it's 100% fine now, but I'm in a better place. I'll always have bittersweet memories, I'll get mad and sad sometimes, but it'll all get better in time.

I'm better now, still in California, still meeting amazing and sometimes crazy people and I think that's one of the reasons why I decided to see this again, I'm a happier person now.

I was on the phone with a friend last night after a really shitty night, we talked about how big the hook up culture is! 

I think when you're in this world, you might not find yourself with these type of people so often cause when you want this lifestyle, you take your time to find the right person, but still the hook up culture is here. 

I'm going through an amazing experience right now and I still find myself struggling with my self steeem. It's crazy how easy my mood can change when people talk to me about why I don't have a bf yet. It has a lot to do with the hook up culture, but also with the fact I found myself trying to be with a really toxic person just because they made me feel like I was worth it, like I deserved to be loved again and I felt like he would always fight for me/the relationship. I know it sounds good, but this person was also extremely jealous and dealing with scary stuff. 

Wow! Wow! Wow! A younger version of myself would never believe I was so close to enter that type of relationship because of how messed up I am after my last two relationships. It is sooooo scary to see how easy it can happen, but at least I know I can't be in a relationship untill I learn to love myself, even when things get complicated.

I've always wanted to have a threesome, but my partners were always ok with the idea of a FMF but never with a MFM one. I wanted both, but I also knew my relationships have been more important than a simply fantasy of mine, specially if they made sure everything else I wanted was done. 

Now, being single it was just a matter of time before I experienced my first MFM threesome, and it happened this week. It was unexpected, but I think that's what made it more fun for me. 

It all started when my guy said he came here with his friend, and I being as weird as always jokingly said he should come upstairs and see us, I was just playing at first but it ended up happening and OMG! Best sex ever, we were going at it for hours. I'm still in pain and walking a little funny, but I'm glad I got to experience this before I get into a relationship.

I've been struggling with being single after a breakup that messed me up really bad, but going out and meeting new people is also fun. I guess this served me as a reminder that life is not all about being taken. 

The past few days I've noticed how fun it is to go out and meet new people without expecting anything in particular. 

I think I had the best night of pure sex ever. I love when you can meet a person who's into the same things that you are, and it's a plus if they also treat you as more than a piece of meat, no matter if it's a hook up or a longer relationship. 

I was having a conversation with this guy about how I like when a guy cums on my face as long as there's respect, and it was funny at first but I had a point.  We choose to give ourselves to another person, even if your thing is to feel used, so feeling respected is important in this situation. 

Is there a way we can call people out when we have proof they're psychos? 

I know a lot of guys receive messages from girls asking for money, I'm sure some women do too. That's exactly what happened to me.

I'm still in shock cause I don't know if this is real or not, but if that person was lying, I think we should have a way to know which person is trying to do some shady business, cause they can make another account and try it over and over with another person. 

I had a friend or I thought it was a friend from this site, today he decided to ask for money which I thought was weird cause we don't really know each other for that long, I got mad and call him out. Soon after he started acting weird, saying he had enough of this word and how he wished I could have a good life (acting suicidal). I don't know if it was a sick joke or not, but he just stopped responding when I got worried for him. 

I ended up reporting the account cause I have a feeling this is not the first time he does something like this to someone. I obviously won't post his info here, but feel free to dm me if you're ever worried you might encounter him. 

I'm a black chubby girl from the Caribbean, and I deal with things others will probably never have to deal with in their lifes. I never look at myself as a victim of my circumstances and I will never choose another color or place to live even if I could.

If I find a Dom, a partner, a guide, it needs to be one who's ok talking about race issues, specially if that partner and I have a different skin color, why??? Easy, cause I will deal with shit he won't have to deal with and it's nice to see the person you like/love understands you and can put himself in your shoes. 

If I ever find another person sexualizing me for my skin color or the place I was born, but can't or won't deal with the bad side of things, it will not end well.

So even tho sex is great, you still need to show me that human side of you.