Often I hear people talking about how online D/s sucks or that it isn't real enough or that they won't do it.
I met My little Wildabubble online, right here at the cage. Our online dynamic was fucking hot. So hot that we had to meet. We did.. and it was crazy amazing, but soon it too wasn't enough. The times away from each other got to be too much. We made plans to move in together, to take that next step, you know, the dream of being 24/7 in real life. Goodbye online D/s. Hello 24/7 D/s. Fast forward a ways and I'd like to say that while everything is great in 24/7 real life and I wouldn't take it back, I realize now how much shit changes when you are living together and trying to keep your D/s alive and fun. See, when you are in an online relationship, 100% of your time with this other person is devoted strictly to your D/s relationship. You can serve your kids that macaroni and cheese, then in the same room respond to your sub online, "you dirty slut". In real life you can't do that. You can do laundry, work, clean, cook dinner, and go to appointments all while being totally immersed in an online D/s relationship, its much harder in real life. Communication online becomes stale when you're used to communicating face to face, so you stop doing that, unless it's to give a reminder on the grocery list or other mundane things. In real life, things need to get done, bills need to be paid, friends and family take up time, and sometimes you just need to watch 90 mins of Antique Road Show under a blanket while eating ice cream and candy. You have to literally carve out time to participate in your own D/s relationship. Even then, you're tired and just need to relax for a min after a hard week of stressful work. It's really easy to say you'll do it the next day, its not easy to do an elaborate scene when you're both tired and feeling lazy from the week. If you think you'll be keeping your sub in chains in the basement, constantly on edge, just there for you to use whenever you please or that your sexy fun rules of your online D/s relationship will somehow translate into a 24/7 real life relationship, I can tell you, that is not reality. It takes fucking work from both of you, Dom and sub. It's difficult. It takes tons of communication and honesty about your feelings. It is rewarding though. It's amazing when you both make time and put in the effort to make your D/s relationship a priority. Like I said before, I wouldn't take back what I have. I and my sub have grown immensely as a D/s couple. I do however miss how simple online D/s can be sometimes.
Stay safe and stay kinky folks