SubmissiveMusings <3

Jessierabbit​(sub female) - Thank you ?
For taking the time to write, and saying caring so much!

dollMaker​(dom male) - Definitely talk with subs who have been here awhile, and know the lay of the land re who is worthy on here and who isnt. My personal recommendations re subs worthy of learning from, talking to include Kara, curiouskittyy, and alawey, to name a few. There are great people here, but unfortunately many who in my view and others, not so much. My advice is do not, repeat do not get involved with anyone on here before you have a good baseline knowledge of BDSM, read websites like submissives guide, the You Tube channel of the same name, and aevie Lupines You Tube channel. BDSM is a lot of fun when done safely and ethically, but when practiced, applied with out care, consideration and ethics its dangerous to mind and body and a reckless, careless, predatory, or abusive dom can turn something magical into a destructive thing. Please take your time, through knowledge you can keep yourself safe. By listening to the subs I name you can keep safe. I wish you the very best on your journey, and hope you only have a good time. One thing to let you right now, subs are in control, all BDSM relationship dynamics work on the basis of the subs enthusiastic consent to submit, and it is a sub that can at any time reverse, withdraw that consent amd stop the acrivity. A sub can walk away at any time. You always have a right to say no, stop, use a safe word. Unethical doms, predators, abusers use newbie ignorance to sell an idea of BDSM that is not BDSM, that they are in charge and a sub has no right to stop things, ask questions, seek clarification, pause or halt things. Anyone telling you that is a liar. Do not get involvec with such people, do not sell yourself cheaply, do not give in to pressure to submit, send nude pictures etc. Hold to your common sense, and keep learning.

alawey​(sub female)​{(OWNED BY } - Sweetheart please listen to all that they have said.

Learn all you can about yourself and the lifestyle, by looking within yourself, reading and talking to others. Read blogs and forums, come visit chat ask questions, watch how ppl act and how others react to them. Reach out to other subs, alot of us really care about others and support , encourage one another. But most of all stay safe

dollMaker​(dom male) - I think, and this is going to annoy people, but increasingly many who comment on the forums, and blog on here evidently have no actual physical world BDSM experience and therefore their words lack the weight of those that do. That is why I generally suggest off cage resources and books rather than on here. I think this needs said, as many who were active in the physical world and online have left and therefore that balance of experience and knowledge is now mostly gone from here. I operate in both worlds, and advocate for both, see value in both, but when someone has never attended a workshop, gone to an event, had peer to peer learning opportunity with physical things, never thrown a whip, used a flogger etc then they can have no really useful input re physical world activity. Sure anything is possible in online RP, and no one can get physically hurt if its just words on a screen, though words on a screen and badly done online can hurt emotionally and if there is a physical component to the online activity ignorance of how that activity should be done safely is dangerous. So I say to all newbies go learn all you can physical world as well as online, all knowledge is good and useful and knowing how to do things safely in the physical world will only make online much safer, richer and rewarding for all involved. BDSM is dangerous, and must be done safely and carefully. By the way I am not saying those who only do online have no value, cant help or inform, but if they have no physical world experience or knowledge they should stick to that and not give advice about the things they know nothing about. That in my opinion is dangerous.

alawey​(sub female)​{(OWNED BY } - @doll

when i said to read blogs and forums it was not to say that there was any RL experience to all of them. just that there is a bunch out there with links and list of books and whatnot that could/and may help her or anyone else as we are sharing info. and by visiting chat and seeing how ppl act and react to others will help when wanting a online only . i agree with reading things off of cage as well. as there are so many great and wonderful things out there full of help and info.

if she wants am online or RL either is fine and neither is wrong. But the understanding of what one wants and looking for should be know to any that are involved. and just as " but when someone has never attended a workshop, gone to an event, had peer to peer learning opportunity with physical things, never thrown a whip, used a flogger etc then they can have no really useful input re physical world activity." i feel the same is true with the whole online RP thing.

I know with all my heart that while i can share all i know and have learned through out my journey. i am not one to be helpful in a RP or strickly online ( just words typed on a screen) .Well maybe in the beginning when what is what when looking and all. But just as those that do only online and RP that cant really useful input in physical world activity. As mine ( as you know ) is 100% in RL, I feel that i would be unable to help more then what i stated above in this paragraph with an strictly online/RP relationship

Cherry2000​(sub female) - My experience with this overly welcome and eager type of Dom is that they are wanting to add you to their group of subs. They need validation by having mass amounts of adoring subs that will believe what they are told.

Jessierabbit​(sub female) - Hello everyone,
Thank you all for your advice and views. Not only is it sound, but most of it heart felt.
I should disclose upfront that what I write, my musings, are purely fictional. They are what my mind desires.
Kara, your red flags are all fair and I appreciate that I have a huge amount to learn. But finding a supportive environment with people who are prepared to accept and share is a good place to start.
I appreciate immensely all of your heart felt advice, and even more so that you each took the time to help me ❤️
I apologise if I have offended, and hope I have a chance to connect with all you beautiful people.
Have a wonderful day!