Regis' Reflections

Ever have the one or few places where you're most at ease?

I used to work as a bartender in a club. Naturally there's adrenaline pumping music, some dance happy, others romantic or electronic or all of the above, and a f*ckton of people under a bunch of colorful spinning lights, lasers, and the floor is shaking with bass. That place, behind the counter with my glasses and rags, was my safe place. My sanctuary. Could always feel at peace in the chaos and feel empowered whenever I mix and serve my beverages (my favorites are whiskeys and brandy, what's yours?), and ultimately satisfied at the end of my shift cleaning my glasses and polishing the counter.

Control. Relaxation. Confidence. Power. Smooth. 

Since then I've developed a few more sanctuaries. My love's chest, for one. Nothing sexual, no actions really necessary. I may be the Dom but there's a comfort I can't explain just resting my head on her collarbone. Can't resist sleeping either, I ko so fast then wake up feeling like a bloody king. Warmth is never too warm or hot, just the right amount, and she's the perfect balance between firm and soft. Not to mention, heartbeats and breathing gets me calm like none other. -laughs- Not afraid to admit I enjoy being spooned as much as I like being the spooner, and that it'd take ages to wake me up if I'm not ready.

Comfort. Warmth. Peace. Stability. Love. 

Another sanctuary I've got is when I'm on the move. The road. In the car, stick shift or auto, doesn't matter, tunes playing and sunroof open on sunny or breezy days, the feel of the leather around my steering wheel in my hands, the perfect sensitivity of my accelerator and brakes, and the thrum and low vibrations from the engine. 

Not to mention the sound when I floor it. Always an amazing thing. 

Something about drives that never fails to make me happy and excited for the day. You turn over your engine yeah, then put your vehicle in gear and now, you're cruising to your next destination. Could be a bar, could be a restaurant , could be the forest, could be your relatives. Hell, you could even have nowhere planned and just go where the wheel takes you. Drives never fail to excite me, they often wake me up at the start of the day. 

Control, indulgence, excitement, risk and reward. 

And now, I'm in my room. Prison for some, meh for others, recluse and sanctuary for those like me. Got your bed, your entertainment set maybe, decorations and a study. A place to relax or have some fun (wink, wink). I work out here sometimes. Also love to read and draw here. A bonus is that I'm hardly bothered by others and the temperature in this room is just right, not hot or anything but erring on the cooler side of the spectrum. 

Rest, comfort, carnal indulgence, work and process. 

My last sanctuary is the toilet. 1-20 minutes at a time. 

Inner reflection, burden and relief, sanitation. 

Hello, lovelies. Just going to level with you lot for a moment of your time, this isn't really important but I feel like it needs to be said on those in this community who cry wolf in general.

One thing before we start, I know on my profile I said I'm new to the site. White lie on my part, but this is an alt account because well for fuck's sake, sometimes you need to make one to avoid extremely harmful and stubborn people who don't care to leave you be. That out of the way, here's my rant:

So. Anyone ever run into the "victims". You know them, ones who go around seeking help for their problems and are usually in the downs more than they're up? Not to say there's anything wrong with them per se but the real issue lies here: Do not seek for advice, help, or sanctuary if you're just going to do the thing that's sent you into a tizzy again and again and again. If you know poking the sleeping dog gets you bit, then don't do it! And if you do, don't go begging others to help you feel better only to do it AGAIN. And that's the tip of the iceberg, sometimes those types will go and intentionally cause those same issues just so they'll get attention. My verdict? Fuck off. We don't need that and it's a big middle-fucking-finger to the face to those who do their best to help you by giving a lot of their time, effort, or even resources ESPECIALLY if you do something like, I don't know, BITE THEIR HANDS when they finally don't know what to do with you. Here's another example: If you and your lover are having a domestic because you disrespected and undermined them both in public and in private, DON'T USE YOUR "BRATTINESS" AS AN EXCUSE! It's shameful and using that excuse of being a beat to get out of every single thing your Dom tries to discipline or help your relationship over isn't the way to do it. And you wonder why your Dom doesn't know what to do with you, or is giving you the cold shoulder. Actually make an attempt to have a middle ground with them, don't be an ass then blame it on them for not being proper Doms. If you get scolded for telling them to "Fuck off" simply for them saying "I love you" literally every time, that's not brattiness. That's proper disrespect, especially if they convey they really love you seriously and you throw them off like it's nothing. It's nasty to see publicly too. And it's a damned shame when you come running to your other mates like, "Oh, my Dom is mad at me, he's so stupid and I need help on fixing this." Bullshit is what that is.

Those "victims" are one side of the problem. Now let's talk about the ones I like to call... Well, plain bastards.

Say, yeah, that you or a group of you opens arms to someone who's in a sort of trouble. You all throw away your time and effort for this one person because they have self esteem issues and they've never known what it means to have proper friends or family and all. Say that this person always gets thrown into shit by their partners who are abusive, fake (Instadom hiding behind so called statuses and whatnot ie "I'm called Mistress/Master of the Manor where I'm from" when in reality they're just someone who's real full of themselves and have next to no idea how to handle their partners and then have the nerve to shame/insult those partners when they finally leave the relationship because of the self proclaimed Master/Mistress's bullshit... then said instadom goes around, pompous flapping about, throwing their weight around with a superiority complex) and outright just not someone you should be around. Let's give an example yeah?

:You are in a relationship with your M. Then, for the first time, you make friends who genuinely see you as a friend, that's it. They care for you and they worry when you're hurt. Now then, your M finds out one of these friends call you something like "deary" because that's what you are to these friends. You're dear to them and it's not like they're trying to get into your pants. No, this is purely a friendship. So your M finds out that you're being called Deary then bans you from talking to your friends or anyone associated with them period. Bullshit, right? But here's the thing, your M then DEMANDS a letter of apology from the one who calls you Deary, claiming all sorts of things like "He's a presumptious fuck who just wants to get in your panties" or "How DARE he disrespects my rule over you", shit like that AND that M sends a direct message to that same friend calling them all sorts of things they're not. Sound like a proper Master/Mistress, or even partner to you? Fuck no.

But then you're given an ultimatum: drop these friends, or you'll be without an M. And if you want to keep these friends, they have to send a letter of apology. So you tell your friends this and guess what? Wow, these friends, despite how bullshit that is, give in to your M's demands in order to keep in contact with you because you know what? They love and care for you as one of their own. Family. But from this point on, they're worried for you, because this M of yours seems like an instadom, or someone just not right at all.

Things like this continue on months and months on end, so you keep telling your friends what's happening between you and your M, all the unfair punishments and rules you have to abide to, and despite all their advice and comfort, you stay with this M even though it's clear abuse. Your most recent case, you actually BREAK UP with your M because you can't take the bullshit anymore, then you finally look elsewhere for the one that is right for you.

... Now, everyone, that doesn't seem TOO bad right? That one took a long while to finally get it in their head that their M is bad for their health and sanity, but at least they got it and they're looking to better their future... But you know what they do next?

Why, they go and publicly shame the family they had, of course. Even after all the help, the words and actions of comfort, the *sacrifice* they've made for that one, that one decides to publicly shame them and insult their very names. Why? No one knows, but that one goes on and say that not one of family respected them and no one showed her (fuck it, the "bastard" in this case is a her, I'm getting tired of pronounce tracking) showed her the "way to light".... What the actual fuck, right? And get this, she then GETS BACK WITH THE ONE WHO ABUSED HER, saying that the M knew best and the M gave her everything, and the family she had did nothing.

Maybe, you lot might think, I'm overreacting. That this is the case of simply investing and trusting the wrong person. Who knows. Maybe it is. But I was *both* the "victim" and "the bastard"'s personal confidant. They always came to me for help first before the rest. They always made me feel great for giving them the family they've never had. They've always told me that they were happy to trust me, and me, them. And then they throw this shit in my face.

What does Family mean to you? What does Trust mean to you? Or do you even care?

You two, you know exactly who you are. You may not come across this, maybe you will, but in either case, I hope you two are happy where you are because I know damned well no one but those lacking a brain would ever come to trust or take care of you as we all did. Kindly fuck off.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this.. I needed to put it out there because these people exist in huge numbers and they're everywhere. Tell me, have you come across these types before? Or do you know others who don't exactly fall in these two specific situations, but they're of the same cloth?

For now, I'm out. And I promise, heh, rest of my blogs will not be as long and ranty as this one.