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Sub, Dom, and Switch, oh my!

This blog will just outline my thoughts, realizations, and possibly questions I encounter on my journey into the BDSM lifestyle. My goal is to post at least once a week just to add some structure to my life. If you read this, thank you! If not, that's fine too.
2 days ago. Oct 17, 2020, 9:59 PM

My dad always told me I was going to hell for being kinky, so my daddy dom and I decided to speed up the trip. We're almost to Hell Michigan! Any Michigan kinksters wanna meet up and hang out or go somewhere cool or something? Do some kinky shit in our hotel room? 😂😁 HMU! 

3 days ago. Oct 17, 2020, 5:26 AM

My birthday is coming up, so I'm planning my party! There might be 6 people, but there will probably only be 4, me and my partner and another couple. But I still want to make it a party to remember, so I need food/game/drink/other ideas! Thanksss!

4 days ago. Oct 15, 2020, 5:45 PM

A sugar addict. And that's not good.  I'm getting so fat. I need to lose weight badly, but it's so hard to overcome my addiction :c I just dont know what to do 😥😭

5 days ago. Oct 14, 2020, 7:57 PM

I was reading a blog just now and came upon a post about how men shouldn't flaunt their dicks in their profile pics. Well, what about girls showing their boobs? Is that any different? We hate on guys that only have dic pics, but it's much less common for people to hate on girls for their boob, ass, or vagina pics. Tis a double standard I suppose. What do you guys think? 

6 days ago. Oct 13, 2020, 7:50 PM

I love being a submissive and making my dom happy outside the bedroom, but sometimes I just get fed up and feel like I'm being used as a crutch rather than a subby. I am in college full time, work 34 hours a week, and have a 12 hour class day. My dom works a typical 9-5 M-F job, 40 hours a week. We split bills based on income, and we split chores based on our work schedules. He enjoys doing laundry, so he gets to do the laundry as long as I fold it. I do dishes T-R and he does dishes F-M because those are my 3 12 hour days. The thing is, he doesn't hold up his end of the deal. So I end up doing all the cleaning. We do take turns cooking dinner, but I have to make him breakfast and lunch 4 days a week while he has never once made me breakfast or lunch. I'm fed up because I have so much to do and he expects me to do all the housework when I literally have an extra 36 hours of school roughly. So I'm busy 70 hours a week, he's busy 40 hours a week, but I still have to do all the housework. He won't do dishes on his days, he just leaves them for me to do on Tuesday. or he'll wash half of them and tell me to do the rest. I feel like this is an inappropriate use of our power dynamic. I don't know what to do. I just yelled at him about how fed up I am about it. 

2 weeks ago. Oct 6, 2020, 5:29 AM

I feel so violated. I should have known that my mom couldn't keep her damned mouth shut. I should have known that when my parents found out about my s/m relationship that they would have blabbed to everyone about it. All they knew was that I let him spank me. From that they told everyone that my boyfriend is a physically abusive sadistic fuck who doesnt deserve the time of day. My entire family had agreed in a secret meeting that they didnt want anything to do with him. 

A year later, my parents realized they didn't have the most...Christian approach to the situation, and my dad is a freakin pastor, so shit! They told the family their reasoning as to why they had a change if heart. So for the first time since my parents met him (he came to our church to meet them!) over a year ago, we have been invited to a family gathering this friday. My mom "warned" the family that he's coming. What the actual fuck! She basically told me to grow up and I shouldn't be upset, but I'm really fucking pissed that she outed me to my ENTIRE FUCKING FAMILY! INCLUDING MY GRANDPARENTS!! UGH!!!

3 weeks ago. Sep 29, 2020, 3:14 AM

Have you ever started thinking, asking yourself questions, and then spiraling into a deep dark philosophical argument with yourself about what's what and why or how? I feel like I fell down the rabbit hole and cant find my way out. Maybe when I stop looking I'll find it  

1 month ago. Sep 3, 2020, 6:18 PM

I've liked this guy for about 2.5 years now. In fact, he's the only person I have ever been sexually attracted to. Like, just him talking can turn me on. The only reason we never dated is because he's on the other side of the country. 

So a few years pass, I find myself a Daddy dom that I'm content and happy with, and this guy who I still consider a best friend started dating someone too. Well, I texted him the other day because I was thinking of him, and he didnt respond for 3 days. Well, when he finally did respond, he said his girlfriend had his phone when I texted and that caused a lengthy conversation. I apologized for causing problems, but then he said I was fine. Actually, his girlfriend wanted to fuck me. 




So I joked around and said, oh so you dont want to share? And he was like, actually, I told her if I cant fuck you, neither can she. 


I was like, well I wanna fuck both of you, I just dont know how my Daddy would feel about that. So I talked to my Daddy about everything, I'm over here DYING because I've been looking for a female to explore with, plus I've wanted to fuck this guy for literally over two years. 

So my Daddy says he doesn't want me to have sex, but maybe we can do some other kink stuff together if we ever get together. 

I'm so fucking pumped. But also, I've never seen this guy in person yet. We've video chatted and stuff, but I've not seen him in person. And his girlfriend wants to fuck me and tie me up and do kinky shit to me. And shes really fucking pretty. So yeah. I just wanted to share that with yall and ask, like, what should I do?? Any advice?? 


2 months ago. Aug 5, 2020, 7:43 PM

I don't usually listen to pop, but I was looking for songs to learn on the ukulele and I discovered this young guy named Alec Benjamin. He has one song about killing people. Since I'm a curious kitten, I decided to listen to the song. So I'm listening to this song and the chorus comes on all like, "Would you love me more if I killed someone for you?" So I'm kinda confused, but then I keep listening, the last verse comes on, and I hear "You have to understand that the one I killed is me, changing what I was for what you wanted me to be," and I start bawling my eyes out. I INSTANTLY thought about my dad, because that describes our relationship to the fucking T. So I hear this song, start thinking of my dad, and decide I'm going to write him a letter and use that as his birthday card. I told him all the shitty things he did that fucked me up as a kid, told him all the things I did to get over my hurt and still try to have a relationship with him, and described my last major fuck up in high school. I told him about how after I was abused and used by my best friend, he, my dad, blamed ME and told me I lead my now X best friend into sin, and that I should be ashamed of myself for the abuse that happened. After he told me all that SHIT, I stopped living for myself. I just tried to be the perfect daughter that he wanted me to be. I killed myself. And then we were best friends. But I guess I only knocked myself out, because then I realized I was kinky and started living life for myself, he found out, and then started treating me like complete shit. So I'm done. I'm done suppressing who I am to have a relationship with an abusive father who wont put in the dammed effort to make things work. So yeah, I wrote my dad a fuck you letter for his birthday. Does that make me a bitch? Probably. But I hope it was an eye opener into why all his kids are fucked up and why I haven't talked to him since I moved out. Happy birthday Dad, I still love you, but I dont think that matters anymore.

2 months ago. Aug 3, 2020, 5:00 PM

That's right. I always looked at people who cheated and wondered how they could do that to someone they loved. Let me tell you about it.
First of all, cheating doesn't always mean having sex with someone else without your partner's consent; it can also be scening with someone without your partner's consent, making porn for someone without your partner's consent, or sending porn to someone without your partner's consent. It can probably mean other things too, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head.
So imagine this: you're a switch in a monogamous relationship with a little subby. You enjoy being dominant, but you want to be subby too. You talk to your partner about it, but they don't want to be poly. You love your partner so you don't want to break up with them, but you start catching yourself flirting with other guys and letting them dom you without your partner's consent. Fuck. You realize what your doing, realize the relationship isn't working, talk to your partner about it, and you separate.
Fast forward 6 months, you're in a relationship with a switchy switch and almost all your kinks match up. Things are great! Then you finish your classes, have a week off, and start talking to strangers online. That's your first mistake. Then, you start flirting (without meaning too! It's just too easy to do these days!) With other guys, and one of them tells you that he is going to scene with you. You laugh at him and tell him no, then he says "I guess I'm going to have to do x and y to you then, and the longer you make me wait, you'll have to do z." Fuck. I could have just blocked him, but I was curious, so I met up with this stranger, at night, in a park, and scened with him. I'd told him what my limits were, but he didn't respect them. I said no touching my princess parts, but he started petting me. I was scared and shocked and didn't know what to say. When he asked if I liked it, I said no. He asked if I wanted him to stop, and I said yes.
So fast forward a couple days, I tell my Daddy dom what I did. I was terrified to tell him because I didn't want him to leave me. We worked through things, though, and now we're closer than ever. I still hate what I did, and I'm glad we were able to work through things, but I did lose a friend in the process. Now every time TK talks to that friend, I want to cry because I miss her, but I feel like she hates me.
So anyway, yeah, I'm a cheater. I regret it. I cant change the past.