Waking up and instantly checking to see if he texted me back, nothing. Me realizing he didn't want a partner, he wanted a mother. Someone to cook and clean for him so he didn't have to. Someone to praise him for nothing and for his failures. Someone who never says no to him. Someone to pay for all his needs. Realizing he is a giant child not a man at all. What are you doing babe? You know he's not going to message you back. Why do you feel compelled to check? I know he was the person you talked to on a daily basis and now that he's gone you feel the need to fill that void in your daily life. However it doesn't need to be him again. You are so beautiful. Literally you attract men like a damn siren. You could have anyone you wanted. You don't need to it to be him. Calm yourself and stop trying to think of ways to get him back in your life. Seriously. Your not doing yours any favors by begging him to be in your life. That's what he wants and what he needs. He needs to have power over you to break you down again and again. He is a pathetic excuse for a human being. You are better than that. He never wanted a future with you. He never even saw you as a person. He only saw you as property. You pouring your heart out to him isn't going to change anything. He's never going to chose you. Stop putting yourself through the chaos of this toxic need for his narcissistic ass. He could careless that you feel like you can't breathe without him. He doesn't care how many sleepless nights you have because you know he's with someone else. He wad never yours to begin with. So why fight for such a one sided love story. You don't need him. You're strong. You can do this. You don't need that dumpster fire of a human. You were only a convenience for him and the second you weren't he treated you like a used up sock.