My show!

Frustration is plaguing me the last few days. I find myself having zero tolerance nor patients for most things, lent over my desk once I've finished looking at emails with fingers pinching the bridge of my nose feeling my temper rise and a head ache coming on.

It laymen's terms it's at this point i know I need a good hiding and fucked incredibly hard.

I'll crack my neck and my knuckles then let a sigh out, I'll also debate having a few rounds on the punch bag to help ease my temper but again I know what I need, my time is due but for now another outlet is needed!

Since I've started on the cage which is probably less then a month I've come across some diverse people to say the least and learnt alot more then I first thought.

Although I'm not a stranger to BDSM I'm definitely still green! Thankfully I'm come across some decent Dom's that are more then willing to answer my queries. 

I've always found myself wiser and curious for my age, it's a realm that's fascinated me since I knew what it was. Although my first thoughts my natural Catholic guilt thinking I was due some internal damnation for being a "sadist" when it turns out I'm far from it.

Also doesn't mean I have "daddy issues" because I want an older man to spank me and be affectionate towards me, actually just means I have an ideal type for the role I want him to play and I'm sure it's vice versa.

I've learnt I need to submit because I control every aspect of my personal life which is physically possible, I had alot of control taken away from me in my youth and it's made me go into hyper mode with it to say the least so having someone take care of me and be affectionate towards me in a certain way is a big thing for me. A big thing but not a bad thing as I've learnt! 

Cravings... I've often wondered why I've behaved like I have most of my short life, I can literally describe it as an impulse, an urge. 

I've always "played up" since I can remember with most male authority figures, I loved the reaction that I got! The telling off but you could always see the smile, the slight twitch from their lips and the shine in their eyes when they found me funny and cute so I'd get away with whatever I was in trouble for. That was my prize! The smile and "here comes trouble" remarks or "spoilt little brat arnt you?".

As I reached my late teens I realized it was some sort of power, manipulation yes but power to my advantage just the same. Older men especially responded to my little game, I'd flirt and push my luck giving them cheek and baiting them till I got what I wanted, wether it be a quick kiss or been taken over a knee. I've topped from the bottom as far back as I can remember and the lesser intelligent just see me as sweet and innocent but the wise ones the men of the world, they know what I am,what I need, what I crave...