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Online Dom/sub relationships

My blogs are my opinion based on my experiences and designed to help others who lack the tools to be effective and motivate those who truly want to improve in their dynamic relationships.
1 hour ago. Sat 20 Jul 2019 04:44:02 PM IDT

Recently, about a month ago, I blogged, as did Kitty, about our first meetup.  I will do the mandatory recap of that event.  I had flown in Kitty from her location and I had driven the nearly 800 miles from mine.  I arrived early at the airport, 3 hours, as I try to be always be early.  I didn't exactly plan on being three hours early, but weather delayed her flight and lets face it, I got a little excited.  I already knew what she looked like and what she would be wearing as I had picked it out the night before.  She also knew what I would be wearing as well as I had modeled it the night before.  Of course I went with the Gucci suit, because lets face it, this was special.  When we saw each other she hesitated and asked if I was pleased and then after I said "Definitely", she asked if she could hug me.  She was trembling with excitement, as was I (but I hide it better, I think).  I allowed it and we kissed.  Totally just like in the movies...  you know the scene, loud music playing and people all stopped and clapping.  Ok, well it was everything but that last part about the crowd.

So, this blog is about preparing and maybe a few hints about what to do and what not to do in preparation.

First, make sure you know who you are looking for.  Hopefully both the Dom and the sub know what each other look like and haven't sent those sexy pictures of someone else during the initial online exchange of pictures.  It happens.  This is a prime reason to be upfront and honest as to what we look like.  I am not a Tom Cruise but apparently Kitty thinks I am.  She is, by the way, a true Venus with beauty stunning and beyond belief. (I digress)

Second, hopefully the clothes are all also known to each other.  This will help you two pick each other out of the crowd.  The crowds are huge and anything like this will help if she or he is flying in.  If you two are meeting somewhere else it will still allow each other to identify each other.  In Kitty and my case, I always pick out her outfits so it was a treat to allow her to pick out mine.  It built her excitement to watch me try on so many clothes.  While it is fun to pick out hers, I hate picking out mine.

Third, as the Dom, have everything planned.  Know where the hotel, Build-a-Bear, restaurants, etc are.  Make sure you have the funds available.  I now use a seperate card to ensure if things get impulsive, I can still pay the bills.  The Dom always should pay, even if the sub is a millionaire.  Do you know what movie you two are going to see and where is the theater?  If the sub is a little, hopefully the Dom already knows what she eats and doesn't so the Dom is prepared to order on the little's behalf.  Has the dynamic reviewed the protocols for out in public ahead of time?

And hopefully, the pair of you have discussed what type of visit this first visit is.  Obviously its a "get to know each other" one but what does that mean?  Straight to sex in the car?  Straight to some kink club?  Walking around and sight seeing?  A quiet evening alone in the hotel followed by exploration of the city the next day?  Is sex even on the venue? If so, do you have the necessary precautions?  A first visit, no sex, no BDSM might work for you two and allow for getting to know each other better....good luck with that.

Have fun, relax, be ready for an alternate plan and enjoy each other.  Hopefully its the start of a long time together as a dynamic.

What not to do... Panic.  What if she or he is not what you expected?  I say roll with it.  Fate brought you together.. do not fight it.  If he isn't the hunk of burning love that he managed to portray by getting all the right camera angles and drawing on his abbs, so what, he is real.  Same thing for her.  We guys are mere amateurs at getting those camera angles, lol.  Kitty and I were completely upfront.  I knew I was meeting a stunningly beautiful young lady and she knew she was meeting up with a grizzled old man who looks like a crazy prospector with about 20 or so cases of sun stroke who hadn't owned a comb in years.  Lucky her.  If you as the Dom are a little short on funds right now, and possibly always, planes aren't cheap, then plan for free or low cost events to spend together.  Kitty's plane trip was $500, my rental about $900 and the restaurant maybe another $40.  Add in gas, airport parking, etc and another $100 is spent.  Be ready.  But, do not break your bank.  She really wants to be with you, feel you, smell you, hear you, etc.

As always if your dynamic does not match ours, change the pronouns.

"Kitty, hurry up, we got to go, the movie starts in a half hour. Huh? ... No I haven't seen Bundys left shoe. ... Wait, he has two shoes right there. ... What do you mean they are both right shoes?  ... But kitten his left and right shoes are the same. ... I understand what Bundy says. ... Yes kitten .. Maybe Bundy just wants to go without shoes ... Huh?  You think he does too,  Ok.. Well yes, he can go without his shoes, Daddy is ok with that.. Um, what?  I don't know if he should go without his shirt too.  Wait, wait wait, no Daddy is ok with it.... Huh?   Oh, well Daddy did sort of see that coming too. Of Course he can go without his pants too (the clothes would just disappear anyways) What kitten?  What do you mean what was Daddy just mumbling?  Oh, I said we need to hurry to get bundy to the movies." 

We have established that This guy, Daddy Ant cannot spell, punctuate or string more than four words together in a seeming sensical manner.. I have only one thing to say in my defense.. SO!

 

22 hours ago. Fri 19 Jul 2019 07:57:41 PM IDT

To tell the truth I would normally have probably just left a comment on the other Dom's blog that talked about brats but for whatever reason that Dom (?) has blocked me and I honestly have no idea why so instead of finishing my blog I was working on, I decided to write this one and defend the brat version of the little.

The person who wrote the blog seemed to hate brats in general.  While why he does is still a mystery to me, he is not a Daddy Dom so I suppose that may have a lot to do with it.  The brat sub is not one that he would or could enjoy.

 

So what is a brat? Let me be "authentic" here.  A brat is a version of the little dynamic and as such is something a Daddy Dom frequently has to deal with. It is actually sometimes used by a little girl sub to get funishments and attention but contrary to that other "Dom's" opinion, it is not done out of laziness.  What a crappy thing to say.  It is done because it is part of her.  She has it as a tool in her sub bag to use when she wants.  If she over plays her hand, she get punished.  It is not a sub trying to top from the bottom.  That saying is appalling and highly inappropriate.  No little sub tops from the bottom. Its not part of their dynamic. It is not a sub trying to get a Dom angry at her.  It is generally allowed and enjoyed by Daddy Doms. It certainly gets our attention in a good way. If you instead have a proclivity to ignore a brat, then you have no right being a Daddy.  go back to being a Master and stay out of my dynamic.  I also think it is super important to clear up anybody making the statement that being a brat is simply being a smart-ass.  This isn't true.  They are simply acting on an impulse they may have that is playful and yes, even provocative.   I would like to remind other Dom's of the tried and true saying: "My kink isn't your kink and your kink isn't my kink."  As a Daddy Dom, when a Master Dom steps into my arena and attacks one of the pillars of the DDlg dynamics, I defend my own which becomes all littles by virtue of being a Daddy.

I took great offense at the ignorance of that other "Dom" for deciding to shame a kink that is very extensively rooted in the BDSM community and many slave sub's also have the little girl as a major part of their own identity.  It is perfectly fine for another Dom to screen out a potential sub based on her kink not being his kink, but to openly shame and try to discredit the importance of the brat is despicable.  A personal note to that other Dom (as if I wasn't already being personal enough), you owe the littles an apology.  We Daddy Doms can basically give less than a fuck about your worthless opinion about the non-importance of brats to the BDSM community as we love our little subs and we know why they must be bratty from time to time.  You are being flat out narrow-minded and your kink shaming should have no presence here on The Cage.

For the gentle reader (and the curious) here are three of my blogs about what a DD/LG is.  That stands for Daddy Dom and little girl for those who just don't know what those letters mean, and has nothing to do with actual little girls, i.e. those under 18, but instead speaks to the trait that a sub may identify with as a sub similarly to a sub who may enjoy degradation, rope play, impact play and so on. A sub becomes a little girl sub when she  identifies herself  by choosing that aspect to concentrate on.

I have written at least three blogs on this subject and I wish to provide them here for the Dom, or anyone really, who has no idea what a "brat" sub is or for that matter no idea of what a "little girl" sub is. 

The Dynamic of a DDlg - or The games that little girls play and the Daddy Doms that let them get away with it - or- just what the heck is a DDlg dynamic anyways?

DDlg exploration of Daddys and littles -or- Follow-up to my earlier blog about the DD/lg dyanamic -or- Helping those lost kittens, bunnies and puppies find out what exactly the type of little they are so they can find the right Daddy and helping the Daddy..

Daddy Dom/little girl protocols - or- Dealing with that brat without breaking another paddle because her damn head is too hard and there is no way to get to it except through softening her behind!

 

Please enjoy the blogs, if you haven't read them already and it is my hope that the kink shaming can be crushed with a little knowledge.  I have ZERO tolerance for people who decide to express their disgust towards another type of dynamic in the kink community and once again want to make sure that the saying "My kink isn't your kink and your kink isn't my kink" is seared in other's mind.  If you don't like something, walk away from it.  Let other enjoy themselves without having to be shamed for it.  And incidentally, his post hurt Kitty and that is what set me off.

If your dynamic does not match ours, please change the pronouns. This is in recognition of the other forms of the DDlg dynamic which include the following: MDlg MDlb DDlb and more.

-DA

 

 

 

 

1 day ago. Fri 19 Jul 2019 02:08:36 AM IDT

I don't plan on telling anyone what number of blog this makes for me.  I have included a few random memes but I refuse to say if they tie into the number of blogs written by me.

The actual number of blogs I have written can be found by simply counting the number posted plus add three for the hidden ones (I think its 3, maybe more, I cannot remember - oh those were all posted at one time but the relevancy of them seemed to not apply so I recently hid them).

I prefer to keep it low key on exactly what number blog this is.  It wasn't a contest for me.  It just sort of happened.  Granted some asshats helped me increase my blog number by having me write about vampire lions and such but most of the blogs contained information that I hope has been helpful.

Of course, you could just print out all my blogs and use them like toilet paper.  It has to be cheaper.  And I have provided a picture from the actual patent by the inventor of the toilet paper roll showing you how the roll is supposed to be hung... that's right, over, not under!  He invented it, he should know right? It was by Joseph Gayetty in 1857, in case you were curious.  The man was a genius!!!

Enjoy, and good luck at guessing what number blog this was!!!  And as a Daddy, this is for all the littles out there.. See you for the next bunch!!!

 

2 days ago. Thu 18 Jul 2019 02:52:06 AM IDT

First anytime I write a blog about something that appears negative, I must give a disclaimer.  This is not about Kitty and I.  Our dynamic is strong with us (Star Wars reference for Kitty).

Secondly, this blog is inspired by so many blogs I have seen recently written, maybe a dozen or more.  I sort of lost count with the most recent this morning.

Third, this is wholly my opinion.  Accept it or reject it but understand opinions are not in agreement with everyone.

Some dynamics fail.  It happens.  It happens in the vanilla life and it happens in the kink life.  I would love to say its all avoidable but after three failed vanilla marriages, I truly would be a hypocrite.  They fail sometimes because of you and sometimes because of her and even because the wind changes it seems (channeling Willie Nelson)

We could analyze the failure and see if failure could be or could have been avoided.  I will save that for another blog.  This blog is specifically about handling failure of an online dynamic nature as I write more about that than IRL (although if you read Kitty's blog you know in 76 days that will change.)

What should the Dom do if he suddenly has the realization that his sub, his jewel, his life, his masterpiece, isn't what he thought she was or his time just got too busy to give her the attention she deserves?  Just not respond?  Change the Google Voice number?  Block her number?  Change his profile status to single and searching? Ghost her? In other words take a cowards approach to the situation? HELL NO!  He is a Lion, a Wolf, an Alpha, a Daddy, the Top, his sub deserves to be treated honorably.  He must be honorable in his actions.  He is a gentleman right? Sadly, to many Doms these days have decided being a gentleman is not part of being a Dom.  They are wrong.  Gentlemen fight, true enough.  Gentlemen get angry true enough.  Gentlemen give differing opinions to the point of declaring war. All true.  But gentlemen treat their subs as queens to the very heart breaking end, should the dynamic happen to fail.  You owe her an explanation.  And you better shoulder ALL the blame.  You have the strength.  You were the guiding light.  It doesn't matter if she seemingly (NOTE THAT WORD!!!) was the cause.  You trained her.  You molded her. You created her.  You chiseled her from raw stone, shined her, and put her on display with pride and now you want to toss her in the trash?  This isn't a vanilla woman!  This is a sub! Show some dignity.  Apologize for your failure. Help her understand your asshat problems, your failure to train her properly,  and short comings and truly from the bottom of your heart wish her love and good hunting for a better Dom than you were to her.

Subs, no free pass here.  Yes, your Dom failed to be there for you the times you needed.  Yes, he failed to keep your heart from yearning for more and perhaps an asshat Dom crept in whispering those words he knew you wanted to hear.  Yes, things could have gone better.  But don't don't block, drop and ghost the man who was truly good to you.  If he was an asshat and a deceiver and it turns out a monster.. HELL YES RUN!! But if he was a gentleman, provided the training and discipline you craved and desired at SOME point in the dynamic, show him the respect and accept with your own dignity his need to perhaps move on.

Doms, yes you should delete the hard drive of data you have on her.  Yes that includes all pictures and videos.  Why would you want to retain something to remind you of your failure???  Sure her tits were amazing and that one video where she did what she did that still makes you struggle from having an accident just thinking about it that you have watched 200000 times, it needs to go brother.  Delete it.  Show some decorum.  Be a gentleman and let her retain her pride.  You owe her.  Plus your next sub will out do that thing that the previous sub did with her thing so wipe the slate clean.

Subs, delete all your correspondence and videos and pics of him too.  Sure he was awesome but thinking about him is not going to help you move on.  I realize he was a magnificent animal with chiseled muscles and a huge dick and knew how to use it and made you drool, but now you need to prepare for that next Dom.. The better Dom awaits.

If your dynamic doesn't match ours, change the pronouns.

"Listen KoKo, I have to ask you something.  .. huh?.. Oh no, I would never try to delve into things such as pronouns.  No, no... I don't know where you got that idea, huh? Oh, Bundy ... and Teddy too? .. Oh, I see, Nova, Boyd, Sherwood, Stealth, Spidy, Shimmer, Marie, Wolfie, Tink, Piglet, Henry, Rusty AND Snowball, all mentioned me asking about it... huh..Oh, and Hero Skyped about it too??  I wonder where they got that idea from in the talks I have had with them... Well since you mentioned it.. What? .. Oh, you didn't mention it.. I see.  well, hold on .. What? Oh, I see , well maybe we can talk again later... I understand we all get busy..."

 

 

3 days ago. Tue 16 Jul 2019 11:51:41 PM IDT

I blog a lot.  This blog makes my 98th blog so far.  I have a few hidden, my failures if you will.  The failures include the blogs that my gentle readers hated and lit torches, gathered pitchforks,  and tar and feathered me for.  It happens.  Not all my ideas, concepts or beliefs are mainstream and accepted.  One particular blog got me so many hateful comments, I think several Doms blocked me and my poor Kitty because of it. Hey, it happens.  My ratio is somewhere around 98 total, 3 failures and out of the 98 about 10 to 15 "fluffy" ones.

So why do I blog?  Well, it got me noticed by the community.  It allowed me to check my own beliefs against others and helped me learn I had some stupid out dated ideas that needed updated.  It also helped me learn.  Before I post, I will frequently fact check.  It has helped me grow kink wise.  I now understand so many other forms of my own dynamic and others that I thought I knew so well.

So why should you blog? It will get you noticed. It will help you adjust views that you may be wrong on.  It will help you learn your own dynamic.  AND if you are by yourself, or in a poly dynamic and want to find another person for your dynamic it will certainly help you attract that wonderful person to you.

It will also help you, a new or even an old unknown user, gain trust within the community.  It will demonstrate that you are either willing to learn, funny, sad, looking for someone, or just happy being yourself.

Is blogging dangerous? YES!!! Especially if you are an asshat.  It can cause you to be discovered as someone harmful to the community.  It can cause you to become hated by everyone.  It can cause you to demonstrate that you are a total and complete asshat. Which is exactly why you should blog... to demonstrate you use your brain and heart for more than as a hat for your ass.

So given that, should you blog?? Hell yes!! If you blog, and don't have too many blocks (some readers feel their kink is the only right kink despite the mantra "My kink is not your kink" being so well ingrained in the kink community) then you gain acceptance, love, understanding, a sub or Dom with like views and a ready force of like minded individuals who will tear apart any asshat that decides to attack you or your partner.

Do you have to blog about information? Nope, be entertaining, everyone needs a good laugh or cry sometimes or a great song or wonderful poem too. Maybe you are awesome at creative writing and you have a hot story in your mind that needs an outlet.  Just be sure you haven't directly copied from another blogger.  Be original.  Its ok to let another blogger spark your idea, or be your muse, but make it your own!

Do you have to blog to find your special someone? Nope, hopefully that person is blogging and you discover her. But you are more likely to attract your bee to your honey.  Be that flame that attracts your special moth.

As always if your dynamic doesn't match ours, change the pronouns.

"Kitty.....kitten????? Oh, hey Bundy.. Hey listen Bundy, between two Doms, what pronoun do you use for KoKo?  Huh.. I guess I should have asked when I first met him/her/them but that ship has sailed.. no not a literal ship, it's a saying... come on Bundy, just tell a brother what pronoun KoKo prefers... not cool dude, Don't just sit there and ignore me...." (Dang bunny Doms).

 

4 days ago. Tue 16 Jul 2019 09:02:16 AM IDT

Tonight's training was cut short by me so Kitty and I could discuss our very near future together.  I have moved up our timeline to have her move in with me.  It makes sense to this old Daddy Dom to close the distance we currently have between us from a frustratingly huge distance to zero.

So, tonight it was a discussion on how many states and which states we wanted to visit when we do her road trip from her current location to my new location.  Exciting stuff.

I look forward to us living together and changing our dynamic to an IRL one.  We have the oppertunity and its a heck of a lot cheaper to move her local than keep paying for tickets.

I present to you a vignette of what really transpired earlier today... via our messages back and forth.

To set the scene, Kitty was out on an ice cream hen party.  Daddy was left to his own devices.  Since I had never seen the movie "Aristocats" and it is Kitty's favorite (her stuffie Marie is from the movie), I decided to buy it on Vudu and watch it. I have cleaned up the messages for wrong names and typos.

I sent her a short clip of the opening song to Aristocats.

D: "I bought it. Its on vudu for you to watch."

"Just enjoy it...."

"Pure O'Malley baby"

K: "Hehe I love you Daddy. Thank you! "

D: "I am watching it and I am so scared without you kitten. The french guy just threw a wrench at the kitties. He could have hurt them.."

"Eeeek, the train almost got them!!!!"

"Marie JUST FELL IN THE WATER....!!!!!!"

K: "It's not scary Daddy! Don't be silly!! "

D: "IT IS!!! HOW CAN YOU WATCH THIS??????"

"OH NO.. The butler is up to his dirty tricks again!!"

K: "Daddy!!!! It's not scary! Just watch it 😂😂"

D: "NOW THE TWO DOGS ARE BEING ATTACKED BY THE BUTLER!! Its so frightening... How can you watch this alone????"

K: "Omgosh Daddy!! Just open your eyes and watch it! It's not scary it's a good movie!! 

D: "OMG!! The band is falling. They could get hurt!!!"

"I think Duchess and O'Malley are going to fuck!!!"

K: "No they aren't Daddy!! "

D: "I thought they were.. They were on the roof crossing tails.."

K: "Lol it's a kids movie Daddy, nothing naughty in there. "

D: "It is a Disney movie... Always nasty stuff."

K: "True, very true Daddy. "

D: "Oh my god.. The butler is going to try to kill them again, he locked them in a trunk"

"Oh no..... Now the butler is using a pitchfork trying to kill O'Malley!!!"

"The gang put the butler in bondage"

"And suspension too... BDSM"

..... And then Kitty got home so it ended my playtime with her so we could go to Skype.

Yes, there is a point.  As a Daddy Dom you have to be willing to act a bit silly.  Your little will eat it up. Don't listen to other Doms who will not respect your kink.  Be free to play the little girl games with your little.  She will love it... Absolutely eat it up.

4 days ago. Mon 15 Jul 2019 10:31:53 PM IDT

I have seen at least one person calling himself a Dom trying to run down other people's dynamics because those people do not live the way that critical person wants to live his life.  This is horrible.  Doms and subs, when you declare yourself to another person, you agree to live and abide by certain rules, procedures and shared beliefs.  It has never been a requirement of ANY relationship that both people live in the same house.  Some dynamics meet at the club, bars, motels, or via skype.  What is the difference I ask other than being able to have sex, hold hands or kiss.. those are physical things.  If you have to be 100% physical then you are missing the two more important parts of a person that you can never touch while they are alive, their brain and heart (unless you are a Cardiologist or Neurosurgeon).

Do not let someone tear out your heart or confuse your brain with their worthless crap thoughts.  If you make the choice to live by a collar, then live by that collar.  If or should I say when, you two do meet, you both will have the best form of physical enjoyment you could ever have imagined BECAUSE you already know that person's heart, mind and soul.  The physical aspect will be the topping on the cake.

A physical collaring ceremony does not equal the ONLY sort of collaring possible.  If the Dom buys a collar for his sub and sends it to her and she holds the box in her delicate little hands gleaming at it, the excitement she will feel when he tells her to affix it while on Skype will be mind blowing.  Kitty received one from me as a training collar first.  When she put it on, and mind you it was just a training collar, one used for training (thus the name.. for that person wanting to be a Dom that may not know the difference) and thus it is not that much of a ceremony.  It literally went like this:

K: "Daddy, I just got it in the mail, can I please put it on."

D: "No Kitty wait until Skype."

K: "Daddy, can I just try it on for a minute to see if it fits?"

D: "No Kitty wait until Skype?"

K: "Can I at least take it out the box and touch it?"

D: "Kitty you can take it out of the box but do not take it out the wrapper."

K: "Gasp... Daddy, can I please hold it against my neck?"

D: "No Kitty wait until Skype"

K: "Daddy can we go to Skype NOW?"

D: "No Kitty, wait until training time."

K: "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" (growly kitty)

Later that night, at about a half hour for training....

K: "Daddy can we go to Skype?"

D: "Kitty, its a half hour early."

K: "Please Daddy, I will do that thing you like..."

D: "Ok Kitty... we can go to Skype." (I am a pushover for that "thing" I like)

As soon as the connection was made with Skype, she had the collar out of the box and in hand.  I explained the significance of the training collar and what it was to be used for.  I doubt she heard a single thing I said as she just stared at the collar in her hand.  When I told her to go ahead and take it out of its wrapper, it took a moment for her to register I was talking to her and not lecturing on its use.  She ripped the wrapper off and then started moving it towards her neck.  I had to stop her and tell her that she had to wait for my approval. And she had to be in the Collar position.  She dropped to the ground so hard I thought she hurt her knees.   I gave in a minute later, she will probably say I made her wait an hour because I am certain that is what it felt like to her, lol.   Now when she put it on, I had to tell her to breath.  she had stopped breathing.

Now I relived that whole episode to make a huge point.... how is that excitement so different from me being there?  It was real, not imagined.  It was as real as embracing someone as I felt the genuine happiness she felt and I was 2000 miles away from her unable to touch her or put it on her myself.

There are always differences in people's kink lives and their dynamics.  Kitty and mine is pretty close to a DD/lg true dynamic BUT I also infuse some of the Master into it as she loves the rope and the flogger.  The rope and flogger is probably not particularly defined as an integral part of the Daddy Dom little girl dynamic but it appears in many DD/lg dynamics. Yes, (to another dissenter about the Daddy Dom) I play with stuffies and play games with her.  I tease and accept her teasing.  I write about her stuffies and know each one by heart.  I have accepted them as alive to her and treat them as such in my blogs.

There are a lot of dynamics where both people live in a vanilla lifestyle that is incompatible with their kink lifestyle but they still want to live that vanilla life, maybe they need the money or enjoy the friends. Other kinksters just want a kink life with very little vanilla interaction in their dynamic.  Some dynamics do not require any physical interaction to them at all between the Dom and the sub and yes some sub lifestyles do not even require a Dom. So how can anyone who claims to be a Dom make such an egregious statement about collaring not being real unless it is done in person? I cannot say exactly why someone would make that statement BUT I can speculate or give my opinion based on what I know for a fact about that person making that statement.  I think it is to try to convince the sub population that they are not bound to their Doms so he can disrupt those relationships and cause that sub to be easy prey for his own desires.  It is easier on the Dom to work with a trained sub than make a trained sub.  It's horrible and this monster should be ignored by the community as a whole.  Subs, you are better than that and deserve so much more respectful advice than his.

Feel free to ignore me.  Feel free to make your own choices.  And yes, Kitty and I are here for you when you fall to that monster's (or ones like him) tricks.

Also PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE note that I am not associated with ANY other Dom (or someone claiming to be a Dom) with the word "Daddy" in their name.  There are a lot of "Daddy" Doms out there, but only this one DaddyAnt.  If you see a DaddyAnt on another site, do not accept that it is me either.  I am only active on ONE site, this one.  I have been subjected to false stories already and someone even brought up an old message I sent to another sub BEFORE I collared Kitty to try to spread falsehoods about me.  Kitty and I have been 100% loyal to each other since we made the decision to be exclusive.  Neither of us can or will be tempted from the other.  We have a standing rule that if someone gets flirtatious with either of us, we block them as I did the writer of the blog who cried about Doms blocking other Doms. (note the absence of the word Dom and I instead used the word "writer") 

As for blocking Doms, please feel free to do so.  Some people just aren't worth talking to.  If they flirt with your sub after you have forgiven them for breaking protocol and talking with your sub without permission, then they deserve it.  What else are you going to say to this nasty mother fucker?  "Oh, ok, flirt with her.  Its cool you find her very attractive or adorable and want to get her into a poly relationship with another sub?" What am I stupid? Of course all conversations are captured by both of us and shared.  Of course messages sent her by a Dom are sent to me JUST like ALL messages from subs to me are captured and sent to her. She chooses which messages from subs she wants to share with me as do I with messages from Doms BUT nothing stops the other from logging in and checking, you see we have trust and nothing to hide.  She won't talk to a vanilla guy inappropriately and I won't with a vanilla woman.  All things are shared between us

One final statement to the writer of the blog attempting to call me out, if your sub had access to your messages, her eyes would have hurt from the tears flowing down her cheeks.  You have no morals or respect for your sub.

5 days ago. Sun 14 Jul 2019 09:52:45 PM IDT

I am the Dom of a wonderful sub and if you choose to send a message to her, or any sub for that matter, please consider the following before you troll through the list of sub names and start shooting off messages that will gain you a reputation of being an asshat... (asshat: the brain is just a hat for the ass).


1. Never contact a sub with a Dom's name next to her unless given permission from her Dom.  That permission should be asked via a message to the Dom and never assumed. It disrespects her and makes you look like a tool. There is something called protocol. If you claim is to be a trained Dom, then some previous Dom should have taught you about it. If she is protected, same thing or if she states taken etc, treat it as such.


2. Always read her profile before messaging. If she states she has a Dom or says not looking etc... Leave her alone and find a sub who is. It really will save you some trouble and avoid making you look like well, a tool who has trouble being respectful of anyone else.  Also this reading of her profile will pay dividends when she starts asking you questions because I am certain she ready your profile.  The subs here on The Cage can and do read unlike some Doms or Foms.


3. Daddy Doms dont title messages with "Hey hoe". A Dom who claims to be a Daddy Dom in their profile has obviously missed something about littles.. Oh thats what they call the subs who serve a Daddy Dom by the way, "littles". They want cuddling, loving, playfulness, etc. They will show awesome appreciation for that and make you the center of their world. But if you title a message, :Hey Hoe", you aren't really demonstrating that you REALLY want to be a daddy. You seem more like you want to be a Master. Which is fine as long as you don't put the term Daddy in your profile and follow the two things stated in 1 and 2 you might find a sub willing to submit and excite you and be your personal; "hoe".


4. Write a blog and let people get to know you.It's awesome getting involved in the community. Subs love a man who can write (in addition to being able to read). It shows you can think. This is a major way to attract a sub who will know you are there for them.


5. By violating 1 and 2 above, you will show that you will willingly discard her limits and use of a Safeword should she ever need it. After all you show you won't respect protocols anyways and limits and safewords are part of protocol. I doubt this is the true case but it is what you are advertising by violating 1. And 2.


6. Don't be afraid to apologize to the subs who have not automatically blocked you if you sent the same message out to more than just one sub. You may gain some respect back from them and their Doms. We Doms generally appreciate a fellow man who can show decorum and admit being wrong otherwise you pretty much just get an "asshat" reputation from sending a message "Hey Hoe".


7. If you wish to find a play partner, be nice and upfront. The subs will seize that opportunity to claim a gentleman as their own and then they will blow your mind. An asshat gains nothing from them. They may toy with you but they really don't want you for anything.


8. Do not ever send a dick pic as a greeting. They will ridicule you even if you sport a 10" dick. To them it is amusing to see someone so pathetic that a random person throws their dick out. The offender form this morning did not do this with my sub, so thank you btw, but it usually is the next step by someone shown to be an abuser which is the road you're are heading down by violating 1 ,2, 3 and 5 above.

9. If confronted by a Dom for a transgression, it is likely a further err on your judgement to respond with two quick fire responses stating "Boy I'm not bout to read all that, fuck you and yo hoe." and then a wonderful, "Yo hoe a rat.  Tell you she love you on the phone but got fucked last night." This sends the wrong message.  This pretty much cements the fact your are truly not only an asshat but a piece of human waste, oh that's a piece of shit in case that proper term is too much to comprehend for some between just uss. Really, unless you really think that sub is cheating on his Dom and you between just uss, are trying to warn that Dom of a potential indiscretion on the part of that Dom's sub, you are crossing a solid line and really should just fuck off and die, oh well unless you count jerking off as fucking, then maybe just die because you aren't going to get any sub here to fuck you with that approach to life.


Side note.. (means nothing to do with the bible verse for those of us that just can't comprehend the written word): . I was being very nice this morning to the sender between just us, but why bother when he can't learn a lesson apparently because he loves the concept of vampire lions.. I really did not want to have to be an asshat myself. i tried to give my most friendliest warning I have ever sent to anyone who is acting like he did this morning. Just take a moment and exhale and then start apologizing.. Or not and continue being an asshat and get slammed by the subs and Doms here at every opportunity. I am only doing this because i absolutely love to see Doms blogs and because between just uss, he had have been pumping them out which caused me to have I had a mercy streak this morning.


I willing welcome and am willing to tutor anyone, not an asshat, who really wants to be a true Dom. There are a ton of subs here looking for a Dom. and even if your dream is of wanting 2 subs  like you state in your profile, it  is attainable if you just stop a moment and take my advice. Or, be an asshat and get nothing from here. There is always Fetlife where you can join the legion of asshats who just want a trashy encounter with no substance.
-DA

5 days ago. Sun 14 Jul 2019 09:19:33 PM IDT

Well, the world is full of asshats.  Another one is making the rounds, subs.  I wish I could do something about these guys who claim to be Doms but really (to coin a phrase that a sub introduced here) are just foms.

His tactic is apparently something along the line of referring to subs as hoes.  This of course shows that he lacks any real ability to be a Dom or maturity.  It's a shame too because this particular guy showed some promise by blogging.  His profile was utter crap but that is to be expected by guys like this... Notice no reference to him being a Dom?? Its because he isn't.  His mindset is garbage and one of a predator who is hoping to score some sub who is damaged, weak or desperate enough to take a chance on him but his conversation skills are that a young child. He did generously provide you with a nice google voice number to send correspondence to so subs enjoy relaying to him all your spare dick pictures sent by other foms but honestly I think he is a child between the ages of 10 and 16 so be cautioned about that. His speech and reply to me seem to indicate that.  He even wrote a short blog about the interaction and was talking about lions being vampires or something.  I think the saturday cartoons or the anime he watches must be misleading him.  But, I wanted to be sure so I googled it and sure enough, you guessed it, no reports of lions being vampires or vampires being lions.  i also do not believe that when a lion bites a gazelle, for instance, that he then begins sucking its blood.  He may lap it up, he is a feline, but I just don't think his eye teeth work the way of a vampire, but don't tell him, lets keep it between just us.

I also would be remiss to not acknowledge his shocking ignorance of the bible.  True enough not everyone believes in God nor follows the Bible.  I don't care one way or another when I speak with someone.  But as my next blog will show what I sent him should not not have been kept between just uss and could be interpreted as helpful, if someone takes the time to read it, but between just us, I don't think he can read very well.  He can write (by the way of stringing together quotes from singers and poems he found on the internet), but when his ability to put words together focuses on how about lions being vampires and women being nothing more than hoes, I gotta say I sincerely doubt his ability to read with comprehension, oh and let me throw another tidbit about me, guess what my minor in college was, Teaching Reading.  This guy is a true asshat and between just us, I would avoid talking to him.

Although there are a ton of flaws that could be pointed out between just us, I really don't want to waste too much more time on him, but hey he gave me an awesome idea for not only this blog, but the next one which will cover some more advice on how a Dom may find a sub and be happy like Kitty and I.

Hope everyone enjoyed reading this blog and I between just us, I hope I didn't waste anyone's time with having to read, after all reading hurts and for some reading for comprehension is impossible as such things as "Doms, if you'd like to talk to me privately contact DaddyAnt first." that my Kitty has in her profile, is too much reading.  Not to mention the presence of a few nouns, verbs, a conditional clause identifier, pronouns, adverbs and an adjective as well.  That is after all a dozen words and he likely only has 10 fingers.  Reading is hard for children.

I hate to disappoint fans of vignettes, but I do not have one for this blog, it doesn't deserve one. (oh between just us a vignette is a short story or play.) 

 

My "s"'s seem to be sticky today and its too much trouble between just us to correct them. 

6 days ago. Sun 14 Jul 2019 07:46:41 AM IDT

Here you go Kitty, Daddy is trying to keep up.