Okie so my Dada has asked me to write the story of how my relationship with my Mr became what it is today, a happy, loving, polyamorous mess. It might come out a bit like a fairytale but that's because it kinda is.
The very first night we were together, I made him question everything his Mama ever taught him by telling him that 'No' doesn't always mean no. From there we explored our kinky desires together and developed into a d/s dynamic quite naturally. That being said, it took a lot of painfully honest and open discussions, mistakes and misunderstandings, negotiation and renegotiation....
Eventually we settled into a comfortable space for the two of us, but I felt myself still struggling with feeling properly fulfilled. I knew my Mr was giving me all he could and I knew pushing him into being something he isn't would make us both unhappy and I didn't want that at all. So the logical solution was to find someone who could help fill the needs my soft, sweet Mr isn't capable of.
Now, the idea of having this conversation with him made me feel a little sick, imagine anyone telling you that you weren't enough for them, how could I be so ungrateful for the amazing man I've been blessed with? But I felt the emptiness of a bad patch closing in and knew that this time I needed to do something. So I put my big girl panties on and asked for what I wanted, because the worst that could happen was for him to say no.
I waited for a good time, when I knew we could both focus on the topic at hand without distractions or messy emotions from other things negatively affecting the conversation, which for us happens to be a nice snuggily weekend morning and I opened as directly as I know how.
"Mr, I need to discuss something with you and it's very important to me, so I need you to listen with an open mind and please not interrupt because this is going to be hard for me to say"
"Uh ok baby, what is it?"
"First, I need you to understand I love you with all my heart and I need you in my life. I'm not saying this to accuse you of anything or ask you to change, but I need more."
The conversation went on, my Mr heard me out in quiet contemplation and when I was finished he asked for some time, which I gave him. Two whole days I died, but he needed that time to process his thoughts properly and it was important to let that happen. Eventually he came back to me and agreed to let this happen and we set out some ground rules for my safety.
Now I realise this is literally the best outcome I could have wished for, and results will vary depending on your own relationship, but open, honest, adult conversations about your needs, in my experience at least, can only lead to good things. Maybe not exactly what you were after, but at least an understanding, or a compromise, or in my case the ability to have two amazing Daddies that love me very much.
