2 years ago. February 9, 2022 at 6:27 PM
Every time I get into a place where I begin to feel settled, begin to be able to be comfortable in my place, the universe just punches me straight in the face.
Maybe it shouldn't matter, maybe my submission should be the thing I lean into when everything else is being torn away from me. There's not really a maybe, I know that's exactly what I should do and it's what I want to do but I can't. I shut down. I pull in. I don't trust anything. I lash out and hurt anyone trying to be close to me because it feels like it's going to just be taken away anyway.
I want to do better this time. I think that I can. I've put too much work to get to where I am to go back now and my people deserve this, I deserve this.