Master and the Sub

The old saying goes opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. I disagree. 

Opinion Noun: A view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. 

So how can you have an opinion about something you have never experienced, know nothing about, or base your opinion on hearsay or someone else's opinion. 

I want to start by saying this blog is going to be light hearted, some will have an opinion, some will take it as my own thought process. Anyway I hope you enjoy and it makes you think. 

Now my personal thought is an opinion is just taste of what you like, enjoy, or have experienced. Take the mona lisa, many people have said in their opinion it's the most amazing painting, millions of people go to see her every year. 

My personal opinion, it's a sad looking woman who probably could have used to be introduced into bdsm, that might have put a smile on her face and made her bloomers a little wet.

Picture your sitting in your highchair, your mother with a jar of Gerbers baby food in hand, putting that first spoonful of bland strained peas in your mouth. Was it your opinion or your taste buds that made you either spit them out or let it run down your lip landing  on your cute teddy bear bib. Giving your mother the insight that in her opinion you preferred the apple sauce a whole lot more. 

Taste, preference, experience, or some kind of influence, maybe genetic predisposition has made you form some kind of opinion. 

Had a guy I used to work with say he didn't eat pussy, now the opinion of us in the shop thought he was nuts. It was our opinion that you'd have to be crazy not to enjoy the trip down south. 

But thinking about it now, maybe he had a bad taste about it. Maybe it was a hot summer day, maybe the flower was a little more fragrant than if it had just been washed and kept in a cool dry place. 

Anal sex, how can you say I would never do that if you've never experienced it. Did someone skip from rookie to expert with the butt plugs, go from finger to fist on the first go round. I get it you had a experience that you formed an opinion on. 

So what if you have never done it,  what are you basing your opinion on? Religious beliefs, hearsay about one person's bad experience without hearing the many who enjoy it. The old saying, try it you may like it comes to mind. 

Taste, preference play a large part in what we like, dislike in this world and this lifestyle. An opinion of someone else's likes, dislikes, preferences or tastes without having indulged into said likes, dislikes, preferences or tastes seems kinda pointless to me. 

My lioness has never tasted mushrooms but has the opinion that they are disgusting and will never ever try them. Why I don't know, but she doesn't judge me for enjoying them. So before you share your opinions with someone maybe you should live the experience first before casting your light on said subject. 

In conclusion I asked you, why do you like the color blue, think chocolate chip cookies are so great, enjoy the sting of the crop on your ass, love eating pussy or sucking a cock? Is it your taste, preference, like, or experience with them that you enjoy or is it just your opinion. 

Live life, have experiences, develop your taste, find your likes and your dislikes before casting your opinion without facts or knowledge this lifestyle doesn't need more critics. 

Stay strong and positive my friends, it's a shit storm out there and I'm running low on toilet paper. Big hug to all 😊🤪

The age of my grandmother who died yesterday. 

Please don't feel bad for me, I don't have any feelings for this woman. Sounds kinda heartless but I have many reasons for not feeling bad. How do you feel sad about someone who always kept you at a distance? Conversations with strangers would yield more emotion than a conversation with her. The way she treated my mother was not forgivable or forgettable, not a way to treat a child that loved you unquestionably. 

I do feel sadness for my mother for the time she wasted all those years try to get closer to someone who kept her at a distance. Blamed her for mistakes she made herself, accused her of things she never did. The responsibilities that no child should have ever felt. 

So I say this, children see, they remember, they will in time understand what goodness was given, and what pain was inflicted so one day feel either sadness of your passing or nothing at all. 

Keep your loved ones close, letting them know how much you truly do love and care for them, because someday it will be to late to fix what we had 97 years to do but didn't. 

If only I live that long, Dont piss off a Greek woman. 😳

Big hug to everyone, may God bless and watch over you. Lion

Soul is defined as one person, or is the spirit and essence of a person. An example of your soul is the part of you that makes you who you are and that part will live on after your death. An example of soul is the part of you that will go to heaven and be immortal, according to the teachings of certain religions. 

An entity which is regarded as being the immortal or spiritual part of a person and which, having no physical or material reality, is credited to the function of thinking, willing, and choosing. 

Now if you're religious you have been taught from an early age that when you die your soul ascends to heaven, you will be judged by God to either live in the house of the lord or be dammed to the fiery pits of hell to be punished for all eternity.

Note: all I could think of was for a massicast would this be a bad thing? Just curious. 

Now these are just my thoughts and perspective from being raised a Christian, being exposed to life and having my own opinions. The following will contain some insight into my life along with some humor, and my own perspective of what I believe makes up a person's soul. 

Judged soul. 

A person who has been judged by either their color of skin, sexual orientation, political affiliation, age, ect without being given a chance to show who they truly are. 

On the day I was born my great grandmother told my parents I was an evil child.  My brother she cherished, me she ignored.  Why was I deemed evil, what had i done, wasn't until I got older that she preferred first born kids. She treated my father better than his younger brother, but to be fair she had a 3rd grade education. 

Evil soul. 

One might tend to think serial killer, people who torture animals, people who don't give a shit about anyone but themselves, people who take pleasure in hurting others. Those people who you just know if there is a hell will be burning for all eternity. 

Now my soul is made up of many different parts, I will say there is a part that is evil and my great grandmother may have sensed it.

I'll explain, when we were living in the small town where I was born the neighborhood kids all used to go to John's house every afternoon to watch Gilligan's island. One day after we were done I went outside to go home and both my bike tires were cut, both flat. I knew who did it and he just laughed.  So we got into a fight,  he stabbed me in the back of my neck ( think the indentation at the base of your skull) . So I put a brick in a bread bag and hit him hard enough to lay him out cold in the middle of the street. Got my bike and went home,  now you're thinking well you just got even, well except I truly enjoyed it, that was the problem. 

I buried that part of my soul, essence, whatever you prefer to call it for most of my life. Don't get me wrong it has surfaced on rare occasions when I thought I was being threatened and I had to suppress it.. I'm truly afraid I might  kill someone someday for doing me wrong or hurting someone I love. 

Shining soul. 

The saying they have a shining soul makes me think of someone walking around with the light of the sun shining our of them. Do we need welders glasses to be around them? How do they sleep at night with it being so bright?

I also think of people who have been classified as saints, think mother Teresa as someone with a shining soul, someone to look up to. That person who seems to do no wrong, never gets angry, always helping others, just happy with their life and life in general. 

Lost soul. 

My thoughts are of a person who got up one day in a hurry and their soul got left behind because it was still sleeping. But this is not truly accurate.

A person not knowing the direction of their life could be described as a lost soul. I can say this was me until my late 20's. I was working a job I hated, supporting a family, and just didn't know what direction my life was heading in. One day I had an epiphany of what I wanted, so I went back to school and became a firefighter/ Emt. This opened a whole new world of opportunities for the way I wanted my life to go. I was not lost anymore. 

Soul searching. 

Now this could be looked at as lost soul,  but maybe you're just searching for your place in your own life, meaning to what your life is about, where you belong in the grand scheme of things. 

Guarded soul. 

To build a wall or prison to keep one's soul protected from harm whether it be physical or emotional. 

I was 12 when I decided to guard my soul from emotional hurt or damage, my brother had just died. I locked away all emotions and contact with my soul for fear of being hurt and feeling pain.it wasn't until 2007 when I shot myself that I could feel sadness, pain, hurt,betrayal, all the things i tried to guard myself against. 

Tortured soul. 

I envision something out of hell raiser, fish hooks ripping at an illuminating soul suspended by all the things they have been through, have felt and experienced in their lives they can't forget or don't want to forget.  Sometimes the mind will not let go of the past no matter how hard we try. 

My mother said this about me one day during a conversation. She explained that she felt like I was always fighting with myself. She couldn't have been more right in her assessment of me. For all of my life I have felt that I'm a good person, treat others with kindness and respect. But the other part of me wants to eliminate all of the inconsiderate people who think they're better than everyone else. My psychologist called it psychotic tendencies, i call it removing the assholes of the world to make it a better place. 

Disclaimer here, No I will not be going on a killing spree, I was only referring to if I had the power of God to get rid of those who don't have compassion for all humans. I know it's not my place to judge but you get so fucking sick of all the atrocities that are done to people every damn day.  When will it ever fucking end, not in my lifetime I'm sure about this. 

Good soul. 

Someone who places others before themselves, the doctors, nurses, caregivers, charity workers, people that even though they're having a bad day, problems of their own, still do good things for other people. 

My father is one of those people, I have always looked up to him for the way he conducted his life. After working 30 years as a truck driver, he went to work at a church for 10 years. While there he met two people he helped without a second thought. The first gentleman had cancer, my father took him to doctors appointments, to the store, was his friend when he needed one after his wife had died. The other lady he helped had no family close by so my father ran errands for her, fixed things for her, did what he could. The other person was a fellow co worker that got injured on the job. My father took him to doctors appointments, fixed things around the house,  was there the day he died.  My father has a good soul, the kind that I strive to live up to every.

Funny story, my father asked me to come by the church one day to help him with something.  As we approached the doors my father opened the door,  I stopped put my arm in and pulled it back.  I did this several times before my father says what are you doing? I responded well I haven't been to church in awhile so I was making sure I didn't burst into flames. He laughed and said get your ass in there. 

Heavy soul. 

The weight one carries upon their souls throughout life is the best analogy i can think of. 

Past things that have impacted our lives can be added weight we carry, trama, abuse, death, physical and mental all seem to weigh heavy on our souls. I have some, but also have learned either how to rid myself of the weight or allow others to carry the weight for me. 

Dark soul. 

Now for a lot of us this can described the lifestyle, we live in the darkness for fear of the judgemental light of the vanilla world we live in.  Doing something that is not acceptable in terms of society. Whatever may have taken the light from your soul. 

Tarnished soul. 

To do something that may have not let your soul shine like it once did,allowing hatred to consume you, wishing ill will on someone for whatever reason, something you have done in your life that left a not so sparkling shine to your soul. 

Their soul speaks to me.

Ok, so is it loud enough for all to hear or a private conversation? I imagine this is either the person's respect for said individual because of the way they lead their life or something they found as a revelation, a common connection between them. 

They say the eyes are a window to the soul. 

Does this mean that I need dark curtains or at least need to wear dark sunglasses to hide what I don't want others to see? Wow you're into BDSM, and here i thought you were just admiring my eye color.  When someone stares deep into your eyes does that make them a peeping tom to your soul. 

Soul bonding. 

When two people become one in which the love between them is felt in the mind,body,heart, and soul.  I told Hazel about this when we first met, she said she had never experienced it. I thought I had but was wrong, it was with her I bonded. One night during sex we bonded all four aspects came together. It's a feeling that I can only describe as two souls touching, becoming one, it's a beautiful thing. 

The weight of a man's soul. 

By what I found on the internet and highly criticized by other scientists it's 21 grams. Others offer to say your soul is located between the heart and lungs. No matter what you believe or don't believe, my view is this. 

A soul is what makes who we are,  the essence of the human we are perceived by others.  Are you good or evil,  caring of inconsiderate, hateful or kind, does your soul tell people who you are or hide what you are? 21 grams doesn't seem like a lot considering the weight of how it feels sometimes in life when faced with a problem. Feels more like 21 tons sitting on your soul when the problem we face  may not be that big in reality. 

In conclusion these are just my thoughts, my feelings, as to how I believe my soul looks. I have an evil part, a shining part, a tarnished part,a good part, a tortured part, a heavy part. I will say my beautiful lioness has helped me hide the evil part, polish the tarnished part, help carry the heavy part, and learn to understand why I feel so tortured so I may quit fighting with myself. 

A glimpse into part of my life, it not the whole story, that would be a really big blog. So I ask you what does your soul say about you? If it could be seen what would it look like? If it could be weighed how heavy is it. 

Lifting the weight, removing the tarnish, stopping the internal fight, releasing the chains from our souls is a start to helping ourselves and our souls shine a little more brighter letting others see our souls the way we want to be seen. 

Best wishes and much love from one soul to another.  Lion

Ok, just want to say I absolutely hate the fucking cold. It's a lovely -2 presently today's high is going to be a blistering 1 degree with a low of -9. By Monday we get the oh so lovely 1 degree with a mind fucking, bone freezing low of minus 15. Welcome to the great state of misery, trying to start the car is slow, getting it to warm up is less than half, might as well set fire to your pants as you drive anywhere. Our dogs go out, take a piss or shit and I truly believe it's frozen before they return in less than a minute. Hazel said the other day mother nature is fighting with old man winter, not much of a fight she just turned a very cold shoulder on his ass.

So about the leftover burritos, we sent them home with my father along with some chili. Now my father is known for combining foods so think burrito covered in chili for dinner. Were not so concerned about him as we are about my mother having to breathe. Just hope he doesn't chase it down with a beer.

I told Hazel to exspect a phone call filled with expletives, why the hell would you do that, you truly don't love me, if I survive I'm coming to kick both your ass's. We might be disowned. The thought of my father watching TV, a silent but deadly scent making its way to my mother in the other room. Thud. As she passes out. We shall see. 

Wherever you are and it's cold, stay warm, many layers this shit is bad. If you're somewhere warm and are enjoying temperatures that you can safely piss outside without the stream freezing midstream holding you in place until spring. I say to you from all of us freezing, we hate you right now. Maybe like you again  come spring when are privates pop back out from our insides, turtling comes to mind. 

One last thing, I told Hazel last night, it's pretty bad when it's so cold outside that the thought of taking off my clothes to do a little playing didn't sound appealing. She said we could turn up the thermostat to about 90, interesting thought. Be the most expensive play sessions as cold as it is. Having  some quality play time priceless, paying the gas bill for those times about 300 dollars, ouch.

Hope everyone is doing well, have a great day. Stay fucking warm.😊🔥

Good morning everyone, hope you're all doing well on this Thursday morning. 

A little laughter to start your day. For the most part I do all the cooking, take care of the pets, clean the house, do to me being retired for a better word. My beautiful Hazel works and goes to school online so I don't want her distracted from her homework. 

Now on days that she has off she fixes dinner on occasion or we go out to give me a break. Last night she she made burritos which consisted of ground beef, onions,black beans, pinto beans, mexican corn, green chilies, all delivered in a dinner plate sized tortilla. 

As she whizzed through the kitchen, cooking the meat, combining the multiple ingredients with love and finally bringing it all together like a fancy sports car she exclaimed dinner is done.

They were delicious, Hazel loaded up a rather large one, I went for normal topped with sour cream, cheese, and sauce. Was so good I had another one but this time in a smaller sized tortilla. 

After dinner, my beautiful lioness went for a bath while I worked on laundry, several other things that needed to be done. After her bath, she was off to do homework while I finished with the laundry. 

A couple hours later after her homework was done we decided to finish watching the remaining episodes of bonding. For anyone who hasn't seen it yet it's on Netflix and I highly recommend it. Thanks dollmaker for the insight to the show. 

Now I had my snack of choice, some ritz crisp, and Hazel decided to get some of the burrito filling and some tostitos scoops we were all set. Several episodes in and her insides decide that nows a good time for gas. 

Now let me explain something right here. In the well over a year since we've been together up until Tuesday night I have never heard her pass gas. I told her she wasn't human, If she didn't fart she must be an alien. As I do most every night I tuck her in bed, turn out the light, tell her I love her and shut the door. That night as I'm closing the door she says want to hear something and lets one rip. I couldn't have been more proud, I applauded her, told her now I know that she is human and closed the door.  Just in case, you know why.😳🤣🤣

So as we sat there trying to watch the show, she is getting up and heading for the bathroom. Pause show, she returns,  off again, pause again. I get up to get a drink, return to the living room and the look on her face told me stay away. She's passing gas, crop dusting the living room, severing up air biscuits, releasing the air hound from hell, the barking spider, whatever you want to call it. 

She starts looking up things that might help from the internet, yoga poses, so while she is in the middle of the floor doing strange stuff I can't help but think maybe we should socially distance at this point I relay this to her, dirty look then a laugh. I am smoking at the time, she might be highly flammable, one never can be too safe.

At one point she makes the comment no more beans or corn. So about 10:30 PM we are headed to the store for some Gas X she is miserable and I am going to get in trouble for the jokes. Now it's 9 degrees here so I say to her as were leaving the house, can you just imagine when they find us, how did they die,  well it seems they suffocated from the stench. She replied, crashed the car, should have just rolled down the windows. 

Thank goodness the store is close and I drive fast. Get back home, finally finish the last few episodes with her feeling better. Get her tucked in bed, I lightly smack her on the ass, then in horror realize that I could have been killed for it. Quickly say my good night and leave her to sleep. 

As I finish up my nightly stuff, it hits me this morning. That undeniable rumbling in you that can only be described as a warning it's time. As I sat there praying it would move though like black Friday shoppers through the doors of the store with the best sale prices I realized I was trapped.

A bathroom, a private place, one can be naked, enjoy a hot shower, enjoy your thoughts from a long day in the tub. Nope you're trapped with you, every minute of that smell. Something as Hazel says, smells like a dead skunks ass. Nowhere to run, praying that the fart fan will remove the smell before you pass out from the stench. 

Wouldn't have guessed so much distress in one word Dinner. Now I can only hope and pray I'm asleep when it hits my beautiful lioness. Once and I reiterate that once smelling that was enough. 

Hope you all have a wonderful day, think twice before you get that burrito for lunch, just saying.  

Good morning everyone, hope you're all doing well this lovely hump day. Now grab your coffee, juice,  or prefered drink and hang on. You're about to be hit with some truths and it's going to feel like a nail riddled paddle hit you in the ass, yes massochist I know you like it. 

Ok folks show of hands from behind your computer, laptop, tablet, or cell phone who here is an bonafide exspert in the field of BDSM? What no one. Well I didn't think so, I never remember seeing anyone here with a master's degree  in BDSM, and Psychology posted on their profile. So let's discuss opinions, there like assholes everyone has one but what makes yours so special?

Probably nothing, are you backing up your opinion with some kind of facts, life experience, wisdom learned throughout many years of practice. Remember perfect practice makes practice perfect, words my EMT instructor said. 

Now someone writes a blog, is it a thesis from a well know professor at a highly regarded university, probably not. Is it one person giving some information, insight, from their own perspective maybe. Is it information that you could Google and find, might be, but all in all it's just their opinion, insight, information, knowledge that they share so others might gain something so as to have their own opinion about said topic. 

It's not a invitation to belittle, shame, pass Judgement, criticize, crucify, or be a down right asshole about it. If you are not a fucking well know expert in the field, have a masters degree in the subject matter, have a lifetime of knowledge, experience and can back up your opinions with facts then I offer you these wise words. Keep your fucking mouth shut. 

These letters were posted on the wall of my last boss, their meaning and message speak loudly. Because if you don't know about something then it truly shows how uneducated you are. Better to be thought a fool, than open your mouth and prove it. Here's a thought, all the people here with say years of experience. Goes right out the fucking window when you get a new partner, oh some of your experience may come in handy but if they are different then you start from square one. 

Example of what I learned, my last sub used the title submissive so I thought all submissive's did what she did. Oh how fucking wrong I was, Hazel pointed this out, my last was a slave. Now for clarification, my last had very little limits, so it wasn't until I met Hazel that I learned, subs have limits. Many things I could do with the past wouldn't work with Hazel and I totally respect that with her. 

Now folks, we all came here seeking non judgment from the vanilla world, the religious zealots, whoever you're keeping this lifestyle from. I asked you why do you pass Judgement on those who we are supposed to stand beside as a community. Why do you feel it necessary to shame others because of their opinions, choices, the way they find satisfaction from this lifestyle. Can we say out loud I'm a fucking hypocrite, those who live in glass houses really shouldn't throw stones. 

If you have a bit of information you would like to share about a blog then by all means do so, if contributing said information sparks a good discussion feel free. If your words are intended to hurt someone may I suggest you K.Y.F.M.S it does this community and yourself no good. 

Now on a final note,  if you feel the need to write a scathing comment about me feel free, if you want to try and hurt my feelings take your best shot, if you think you have all the answers please feel free to message me I have a fuckton of questions. You see I'm old, I have been through shit I wouldn't wish on anyone and I have learned if you're picking on me then you're leaving someone else alone. I'm tough I can take it. 

To all of my friends I say this, hope you have a wonderful day. To all of you who pass fucking judgment well I won't say it my mother taught me better than that. The Lion has Roared. 

Ok, so just remember this is just my observation and thoughts no need to get your knickers in a twist. 

Age appropriate, what does that truly mean? So if you go by that girl's mature faster than boys does this mean they can drive, drink, and see x rated movies first? Probably not because why? We have laws that govern at what age society thinks we're old enough to make a good decision. 

I'm laughing my ass off right now as I enjoy my bourbon and think about all the times I didn't act my age. Don't get me wrong, some of us do make well informed decisions base on our intelligence level and education of a particular subject, others not so much. 

So let's look at some facts, age for driving in most states age 16, age for drinking age 21 in most states, age to get married 17 with parents permission, varying from each state. Age to go to war and die 18, but can't drink, must be 18 to vote. Sweeping my area must be 21 to buy cigarettes. 

So what is an appropriate age to dive, jump, run, fall, discover this lifestyle? We have all seen or read about other countries where older men marry extremely young girls, is this appropriate or right depends on how you were raised. I don't see it as a good idea, why because the girls have not been allowed to become women, just my opinion. 

Let's discuss our own society, at what age is too old or to young, that all depends on you. We have all seen the old rich guy with the younger woman, look he's a fucking pervert. Older woman with a younger guy, look she's a cougar. I asked what is your age limit? 5 years, 10, 20, this is something that you have to ask yourself.  

When I first read Hazel's profile I said Nope to young, why because I didn't think she would have anything to do with someone my age. I even tried to push her away, thank God she is stubborn or I would have missed out knowing such a beautiful, amazing woman. 

Ok now let's point out the elephant in the room on here in this community. The young girls who are just old enough to join also the young men. Age limit being 18 to join, are they ready for this lifestyle?

Now I want to hear from both the doms and subs who are at this age along with anyone who started early.  Why do you ask? Because at such a young age how do you know what you truly want without living life first. 

I'm not being judgmental, it's because in my life I have had plenty of conversations with people who got married early in life only to divorce because they didn't sow their wild oats first.  For all you youngins that means fuck a lot of people before getting stuck with only one. 

I am one of those people, I can count on one hand how many sexual partners I've been with. Why my first marriage ended, she wanted a younger guy,  I didn't have my first one night stand until I was in my 40s. 

My beautiful lioness is 12 years younger than me, I truly couldn't believe she would want me but as her mother pointed out when I first spoke with her, age is but a number. Love has a lot to do with whom you chose to spend your life with. Age doesn't seem to matter if you're in it for the right reasons. 

So in closing, does age matter in the lifestyle? Probably not but I will say being well informed, educated, and possibly acting your age as you see fit for what you want just might. 

Bug hug to all, best wishes in finding what you're heart and soul desires. 

P.s. I do expect to get some input here so I can better understand the whys. Have a wonderful day everyone. 😊🦁

So Hazel got home last night after being gone almost two weeks. Oh how much I missed my beautiful lioness. Her mother won't be coming home until March and that all depends on how her physical therapy goes. 

I asked Hazel if she was glad to be home and part of her is, the other part wants her mother. Even though they fight with each other I truly can see the love between them, trust me I had plenty of time with both of them. 😳

It's also kinda sad the way she was treated while back home, she gets the stranger in the house by her sister in law. The your not wanted here vibes or thing that are done to make you feel uncomfortable or unwelcome. 

I know it's not just Hazel but her mother has made comments also and it's her mother's house. Never have figured out why people think they can just come into someone's home and start requesting things change for them. 

On a karma coming back to kick you in the ass kinda note. Hazel's niece was in the living room bad mouthing one of her friends, now realize she's 10. Her mother comes in drags her to the bedroom and proceeds to give her the third degree about how wrong it is to say bad thing behind someone's back.

She's got her niece in tears when drum roll please, her niece responds but you do it about Hazel all the time. Hazel was in her mother's bedroom and heard everything. Oh can we say you reap what you sow, sometimes children can be such an eye opener. 

One of the many reasons I don't have anything to do with my mother's or father's family, their all greedy and only come around when they want something. Good riddance to bad rubbish has kept me happy for many years. 

When I refinanced the house last month I put Hazel on the deed. If something happens to me this house is all hers. I don't ever want her to feel she has nowhere to go, she can always feel safe here. 

We are going to wait until her mother gets home, and hopefully covid will not be such of an issue before driving to Maryland, thinking sometime early summer. 

Big hug to all and much love for everyone. Lion🦁

Ok let's face the facts we all weren't shot out of a womb with either a crop in our hand or a ball gag in our mouth. Granted pacifiers do resemble ball gags for babies, it is a form of keeping us quiet. 

But seriously what brought you to the lifestyle? At what age did you know or were introduced to it? Did your life help shape or steer you into this direction? For some is this just curiosity because they saw something about it, or maybe deep inside they truly sought out something that burned in their soul. Another blog for a later time. 

So let me begin with my story. Got beat by a baby sitter, did this make me want control,  maybe. More abuse later in life. Moved 31 times in 29 years, stability issues maybe,  put in control of other people at a young age desire for control not sure.

Because I wasn't raised that way, my mother was subservient to my father because of the times. But my mother taught me women are as equal to men, hence she could do things like remode the  house, plumbing, many things she did I think were to prove to my father she was not weak.

I have great respect for women, she taught me well. I know from her about how hard she worked and the little respect she got. I can't imagine the hell that she went through as a child. 

I got older, life teaches us different things, about how we interact with each other, how we want others to see us. I am religious so that had a bearing on who I am, but not what I am, if that makes sense.  

I have been dominant in personality since I was about 18 years old. Let me explain, I was given total responsibility over several employees. When you take the role of supervisor at such a young age it teaches you how to deal with people. I learned that asking someone to do something in a nice way first got good results.

Don't get me wrong, I got an employee fired, because he failed to do his job, i didn't feel good about it but it was his fault not mine. Saying I learned from a friend, why would you do this to me, why would you put me in this position. 

I like being in charge, having the responsibility to get things done, feeling needed.  Because most of my life I never felt wanted or needed. 

Fast forward, first wife and I were both alpha types, truly fought most of the time. Sex was vanilla, but found she had toys she never told me about later while moving her out. Guess she had her own secrets. 

Second wife comes along, this is where I was introduced into the lifestyle. In a conversation one night she talked about how she paid to be trained as a submissive, curiosity peeked do tell more. 

Well this is where she says I think you would make a great dominant because you are a dominant person. She was right but in my mind we were talking about two different things. 

I am a disciplined person, have been since I was a child, taught that way. So I follow rules, lots of people do. Then I  start doing research on BDSM, ok mind is now open wider than before. I read lots of information, read more, have discussion about things with her, learn more. 

Now understand that I'm religious, so some of the things she wants goes against what I've been taught, some things go against everything my mother has taught me. So how does one do these things with a clear conscious? 

It was one step at a time, learning how to give pleasure to fulfill someone's wants and needs and also learning what your wants and needs are. It went against a lot of what I believed in but in the same breath opened my mind to what I had been missing. 

Anal sex. Big no no for many of us religious folks, but when introduced it's like sir step this way here's the back door just go on through.  Wow what a whole new experience to marvel in, to enjoy without the awkwardness or guilt. 

Degrading someone who you care about takes a lot of something that I can't really explain but you have to step out of yourself when doing it or you risk becoming someone you're not. Never lose site of who you are, because that can be dangerous. 

She was a slave with very little limits, I truly didn't know about aftercare until I met Hazel. This was a shock, i was told she was a submissive, but after I met Hazel I realized she was more slave. 

I have to give my second wife credit for bringing out my dominant side, because without the experience from her I wouldn't have met my beautiful lioness. 

Hazel and I have a wonderful life together, we enjoy many facets of our life and lifestyle and I'm learning more about her everyday. I hope to learn even more as the days turn to years.

So this is why I am here, finding myself buried in a facade of things I had been taught, things I lived,  to realize that once I crawled out from my perception of how I was supposed to be. I can now live how I want to live and be who I'm supposed to be. 

So sit down, grab a pen or pencil and ask yourself why are you here? Big hug family. 😊🦁

Good morning family. 

Hazel's mother is doing better, she's still in the ICU for a little longer then off to rehabilitation before getting to go home. Hazel's an emotional train wreck and all I can do is phone therapy from a 1000 miles away, makes me feel like I'm not doing my part. 

On a better note, she found out from TSA that she can board the plane with the papers she has with her, birth certificate, social security card, marriage certificate. She has to go through a little more security measures but a flight home will be faster. This is a relief right now because money is kinda tight.

We're still waiting on our tax refund we filed last may, I told her by the time we get it we'll already filed this years taxes. She coming back soon, has to get a new driver's license, work until her mom gets home then go back for awhile. 

I bruised my ribs on the right side while replacing the bathroom fan, so it's been a new experience in pain, the dogs haven't been helping. My mother is having hip surgery in a little over a week, my youngest child is moving in with us come April. 

This year has started with a hi how are you, now bend over, grab your ankles kind of way. I'm truly hoping that the rest of this year is very fucking boring. Except for the ass smaking, rope tying, hot wax, mess the bed up stuff. I want to be the one saying, bend over my beautiful lioness and grab those ankles, master wants you now. 

On a positive note the new fan is working great, the true test will have to wait until she has her morning coffee and cigarette and I walk in afterwards. 😳🤢🤬 lets hope it's more like 👍😊🌷🌹🌺

Yes, I love my beautiful lioness every inch good and bad even if I need a gas mask on occasion. Have a wonderful day everyone, big hug. 😊💖