2 days ago. Wed 13 Dec 2017 10:20:52 AM IST
I realised something recently whilst talking to a friend who is new to bdsm and this site. And I thought it might be worth clarifying for those in a similar situation. It’s easy to assume that because all you hear people talking about is kink, that BDSM or the D/s lifestyle is simply kink. What isn’t so obvious to the “new eye” is that there is an undercurrent that is always there that is not so openly discussed because it is assumed that everyone knows it’s there. The unspoken parts are the foundation... the core... the things that give the lifestyle it’s substance. Things such as:
Trust- putting your safety, care, heart... all, and even at times, life, in someone else’s hands and trusting that they’ll always have your best interests at heart. Learning to let go and allow someone else to guide you.
Vulnerability- giving and opening yourself up so completely... unlike anything you’ve ever known. Finding your strength in being exposed.
Truth- open, honest communication, not based on fear, but mutual respect and honouring of each other.
Connection- sharing yourself completely, the good, demons and kinks. Truly seeing each other for who you both are. Not having to hide or pretend.
Growth- always learning, discovering, exploring yourself and each other.
Balance- the dance towards that ever changing moment... continuously striving for the point in time when everything just fits.
These are but a few that stand out to me off the top of my head. The kink is merely a part of a whole. All things work together. This is what it’s all about for me. True connection with another... as my real self, whether in an intimate relationship, friendship or community.
*just to point out, this is written from a submissive perspective.
**please feel free to add any others.