Hidden In Plain Sight

Go Home

By Lucius

I'm your dolly,

Stuffed with extra baggage

Lay me down to shut my eyes

Beaded gazes

Lead you nowhere anyways

Press on my heart, I will say

Press on my heart I will say

I am lonely

With a static smile

I think my stitching's coming loose

I'm hard headed,

But completely soft inside

I'm all wound up and still

The only thing that I can say is

I don't need you anyway

I don't need you, go home

Go home

I don't need you anyway

I don't need you, go home

Go home

I'm your dolly,

Stuffed with extra baggage

Lay me down to shut my eyes

Beaded gazes

Lead you nowhere anyways

Press on my heart, I will say

Press on my heart I will say

I don't need you anyway

I don't need you, go home

Go home

I don't need you anyway

I don't need you, go home

Go home

Go home

Go home

Go home

Go home

Go home

‘What you do makes a difference. You just have to decide what kind of difference you want to make’…

Superhero name: Atomic Boom 💥

Superpower: Inner critic fairy. Sprinkling fairy dust of unconditional love onto the inner critic to silence it and bring ourselves back to that place of belief and hope in ourselves and others 💕 

‘What are you?’ He says firmly.

‘I’m your slut, Daddy,’ I reply, trying to speak without removing his cock from my mouth.

‘Yes, you are,’ he says, lust dripping from his lips.

So much drool and sweat I can no longer tell them apart, my head bobs as I feel his hand run over my back. He eases my dress hem up and whack! A hand to the ass. I moan. I can’t help it, it escapes my throat before I can even think. Whack! Another. And another. He keeps going until I begin squirming. 
‘Awww, does that hurt?’ He taunts. His voice painted with mockery.
I nod.

‘I think I’m going to take your ass and cum in there instead,’ he says. ‘You haven’t been a good girl enough to deserve my cum.’

‘Do you want me to cum in your ass?’

‘Yes, Daddy,’ I shake my head and gurgle a reply at the same time.

‘No you don’t. You want my cum inside you,’ he replies.

Even though I smile, he won’t see it because I don’t stop trying to edge my way deeper down his cock.

‘Good sluts go all the way down.’ His words echoing over and over in my mind.

‘Don’t they?’

‘Yes, Daddy.’

‘Yes,’ he repeats.

His fingers slide around my ass and find their way to my pussy, which of course is dripping. They slide inside and I let out another moan. It feels so good to have his fingers in me while I’m choking on his cock.

But he’s got other plans. Fingers lubed from my juices, he slides one into my ass. Then another.

I lift my head to take a breath and groan.

‘I didn’t tell you you could stop sucking, did I?’ He says forcefully.

I shake my head. ‘No, Daddy,’ and return my mouth to its place, trying to concentrate while I feel his fingers searching deeper and deeper. He knows this is my weakness.

‘You’re making a lot of noise… does this hurt?’

I shake my head, no. Quite the opposite. I think I’m going to cum.

‘Roll over onto your back,’ he says.

I do. And look up at his face.

Oh, that look.

He wants me. He wants to be inside me.

I lay back and spread my legs for him, as he adjusts and wipes sweat from his brow.

It’s so hot in here. Steamy. The windows fogged up very quickly. I gave up trying to retain any dignity long ago. Sweat and drool dripping from everywhere. For once I no longer cared how I must look. It was pure lust and want and need.

I wanted him inside me in any way. That glorious cock.

Entering me, he looks into my eyes.

Another new one for me, for once I meet his gaze and don’t look away in shyness. I know my gaze matches his. We feed each other. I undo my wrap dress so I can display myself to him. I want him to see all of me.

As he kisses me, my head bangs against the car door, legs wrapped around him trying to pull him into me. More, more, more.

‘I’m a more-ist,’ my ex had once said to me.

But I think he was wrong. I’m a more-ist. Any female that loves cock knows this feeling. That desire to feel full from the inside. Filled. My body is so receptive to him I crave him even whilst he’s inside me.

He pulls back. ‘Suck my cock.’

I scramble to find him with my mouth, no longer caring if anyone is around. It’s just us. He does that. Brings my focus so clearly to just us. Just that moment.

‘Do you like sucking your juices from me?’ He asks.

I do.

‘Yes, Daddy.’

‘Good girl.’ ‘Yes, that’s it.’ ‘That feels so good.’ ‘You just needed my cock, didn’t you?’

I nod.

He grabs my head and tells me to open my throat, and drives himself down my throat. I gag. No longer horrified at this natural response, I’ve come to love it actually.

‘Yes,’ he says. ‘That’s it.’

He pulls my head up by my hair roughly and says, ‘take a breath.’ I do. Then he shoves my mouth back down.

He’s so different to what I’ve known in the past. That mixture of beast I love, yet with the tenderness that’s always been lacking.

Even when he’s rough or hurting me, strangely he can also portray that he cares at the same time. It opens me to him like I’ve not experienced before. Brings all of me to the front. Feeling safe to be exposed.

‘I’m going to fuck your ass.’ ‘Go in dry,’ he says. ‘Move onto your hands and knees.’

I get into position. But when he feels my wetness he slides into my pussy instead. I lean back into him with each thrust as he whispers the words I was hoping for.

‘No, I’m going to cum in you.’

‘You want my cum, don’t you?’

I do.

‘Yes please, Daddy,’ I say. And mean it.

I don’t recall ever wanting to be constantly dripping with someone’s cum, but somehow he makes me crave it. The thought of walking around with his seed trickling out of me is something I never imagined I’d want so badly.

He rolls me onto my back and gathers himself up. Somehow he seems bigger. Fills the space. He looks in my eyes as he wraps a hand around my throat and squeezes. I gasp and moan. I close my eyes, but then open them again as I relax into his grip. I look directly into his eyes and let go.

‘Yes,’ I say silently. ‘Yes, I am Yours.’

He kisses me as I whisper, ‘please Daddy, fill me with your cum.’

His body shudders as he does.

A poem without a title

Eyes closed, she hears him approach.

Feels his gaze, as eyes fall upon prey.

Smelling his scent, as he moves almost silently.

Unable to prevent it, a smile forms at the corners.

Ever so slightly, she moves.

Anticipation.

He does this.

Makes her body perform under his spell.

A puppeteer. A magician.

Sounds. Smell. The charge in the air between.

That’s all there is.

Breathing. Feeling. Thoughts.

Calm. Methodical. Composed.

Safe.

Exposed.

Her soul opens to him, as do her legs.

And he sinks in, as though he belonged there all along.

Tears fall softly, as he takes what’s his.

And fills the empty spaces.

What is this?

Who are you?

Where have you been?

 ~Bunnie~

Original challenge from TreasureMe:

https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=28722

Something I used to say quite often was how much I hated drama. And yet, somehow I would always find myself involved in it. Fighting against… something… the world, people in it, life… whatever. I attracted people who loved it, and I couldn’t work out why. Of course, I blamed them.

Until one day I dug a little deeper.

I realised that I had (and still do to a lesser degree, because boy does it run deep) an addiction to drama. I didn’t necessarily want to be involved in it directly, but a part of me still thrived off the energy and conflict created. That part that was scared of being “boring” or being “bored” or what I see more clearly now… was terrified of the unknown. Peace.

I have not really had a life that has shown me what peace looks like. Internal peace. The kind that simply allows you to sit with yourself or others without a need for distraction. The kind that brings space to both inside and out without it feeling empty. The kind that allows room to just breathe. To simply be.

The more I find this space, and become used to it, interestingly, the less affected by “drama” I am. I observe, and allow those who still find a thrill from it to go about their way. To a much lesser degree do I feel a need to have an opinion or make a judgement, nor become involved. I simply accept with understanding.

So, why this writing?

Today I decided to share. Obviously the recent turmoil here has brought these thoughts to the surface. I like to be able to reflect on where I once was, and where I am now. And to share that for others who may relate. I guess in a way it becomes painful to watch others with the same struggles I’ve known so intimately. Perhaps it’s a breadcrumb. A suggestion that it doesn’t have to be a way of life, getting stuck there. There can be a way out, a way forward.

However, for someone like me, I realised not too long ago, that can be a terrifying thought too. It truly is an unknown to try to imagine a life that *feels nourishing*. Even though I’ve always believed it’s what I want, looking back I can see I’ve always stuck with what felt familiar. Always dragging along that little safety net of chaos. Strange, I know.

I’m currently in the process of picking up all the balls I’ve dropped during the last few months of stress and struggle. Unfortunately when life hits hard, I tend to drop things one by one as the overwhelm builds… and although logically I know it makes things worse, usually the first to go is self-care. And then I have to wait. Wait until I can find the space to pick just that one ball back up again… because that’s the big one. That’s the central one from which everything else falls into place. Although it’s still super tough, I try to no longer berate myself for not coping. I try to give myself grace. I try to allow those who love me, to share their words of support, and tuck them into my heart. I try to remember each baby step to the way back because I now understand I don’t have to stay there. I have the tools. I know how to find that peace again, because once you know it you can’t unknow it. And I remind myself that the chaos I’m feeling, and reacting to, is actually inside.

Today is the first day…

May you find your journey to inner peace also. Sending lots of love to those who need it 💕

“I don’t know if I’ve learned anything yet! I did learn how to have a happy home, but I consider myself fortunate in that regard because I could’ve rolled right by it. Everybody has a superficial side and a deep side, but this culture doesn’t place much value on depth — we don’t have shamans or soothsayers, and depth isn’t encouraged or understood.

Surrounded by this shallow, glossy society we develop a shallow side, too, and we become attracted to fluff. That’s reflected in the fact that this culture sets up an addiction to romance based on insecurity — the uncertainty of whether or not you’re truly united with the object of your obsession is the rush people get hooked on. I’ve seen this pattern so much in myself and my friends and some people never get off that line.

“But along with developing my superficial side, I always nurtured a deeper longing, so even when I was falling into the trap of that other kind of love, I was hip to what I was doing. I recently read an article in Esquire magazine called ‘The End of Sex,’ that said something that struck me as very true. It said: “If you want endless repetition, see a lot of different people. If you want infinite variety, stay with one.” What happens when you date is you run all your best moves and tell all your best stories — and in a way, that routine is a method for falling in love with yourself over and over.

“You can’t do that with a longtime mate because he knows all that old material. With a long relationship, things die then are rekindled, and that shared process of rebirth deepens the love. It’s hard work, though, and a lot of people run at the first sign of trouble. You’re with this person, and suddenly you look like an asshole to them or they look like an asshole to you — it’s unpleasant, but if you can get through it you get closer and you learn a way of loving that’s different from the neurotic love enshrined in movies. It’s warmer and has more padding to it.”

~ Joni Mitchell

What if what you thought you wanted, doesn’t look how you thought it would look?

Do you let go of how you thought it would look, and see what’s there?

No doubt my curiosity will win.

But sometimes I wonder… is this simply making my journey longer than it needs to be? 🤔 

The reality is,
you’ve never been given a chance to be soft. To relax.
To relinquish.
From the very beginning,
you were forced into a role that demanded
you be in control.
And though you flourish as a leader,
you desire something other than sovereignty.

You’ve always been the one who was relied upon,
yet rarely had anyone to rely on.

And oh, how sweet it would be to just float.
To just drift and flow and feel the freedom of getting lost in someone you trust.
To sink into the embracing arms of someone unwavering.
Someone so fiercely loyal that when you look in their eyes you see an unbreakable bond. You deserve an energy equal to your own. Someone whose ambition and drive rises
to meet you exactly where you are.
Where you’ve always been.

For so long you’ve carried the weight of unmet promises that turned into burdens.
This is not your fault.
Look how far you’ve come.
It’s easier to walk these roads alone
than it is to drag someone along.
All you ever ask for in return
are the very same things you give away freely. Stop excusing your expectations.
You deserve reciprocation.

J. Raymond
"Equal Energy"
From The Kindred Project: Vol. II

(personal note: Whilst at first glance this may read as being geared towards females, I personally don’t see this as gender specific. I think we all deserve a place to be “soft”… it just may look different for each of us in how that shows up.)

Sometimes it’s difficult to remember when we’re right in the middle of the shitstorms that life throws at us at times, that “this too shall pass.”

Finally, beginning to come out the other side, I can stop and take a moment to just… breathe. 

Seeing that a few people are going through their own shitstorms at the moment, now that I can, I just wanted to send some love…

💕 

(lyrics by Eddie Vedder)

When I walk beside her, I am the better man
When I look to leave her, I always stagger back again
Once I built an ivory tower, so I could worship from above
When I climbed down to be set free, she took me in again
There's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world
When she comes to greet me she is mercy at my feet
And when I see her bitter charm, she just throws it back at me
Once I dug an early grave to find a better land
She just smiled and laughed at me, and took her blues back again
There's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world
Oh, there's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world
When I go to cross that river, she is comfort by my side
When I try to understand, she just opens up her hands
There's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world
Once I stood to lose her when I saw what I had done
Bowed down and threw away the hours of her garden and her sun
So I tried to warn her, I turned to see her weep
40 days and 40 nights, and it's still coming down on me
There's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world
Oh, there's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world
Oh, there's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world
Oh, there's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world
There's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world
Oh, there's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world
There's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world
There's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world
There's a big, a big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world

This movie (Into the Wild), but especially this song, hits my vagabond (I call myself more of a “stray”) bones (vagabones? 🤪), deeply. Every time I listen to it, I want to hit the road… because it stirs such a deep feeling of freedom, and sense of belonging to something so much bigger than myself.