1 week ago. Mon 10 Dec 2018 10:57:26 PM IST
An idea. Predators... they’re a problem. They come in all shapes and sizes... even dressed in sheep’s clothing. “How do we protect people from them?” has been a long asked question. Well... one way as a newbie, is to consider this...
Try something new... don’t consider anyone who approaches you, as a potential. Consider them a friend... and no matter how charming or thoughtful or sweet... or however much they “get” you... stand your ground, and keep them in that category. Even new “friends” who want to play... be wary of (wolves sometimes come dressed as red riding hood too).
So if you’re not considering *anyone* who approaches you as a potential... who does that leave?
*It leaves those that You. Choose. to. approach*
Look through profiles, observe behaviour and responses on forums and blogs, chat in the chatroom... if you find someone who catches your eye, send them a message. If you’re terrified to do that, tell them. Most wont bite. This for me, applies for both Dominants and Mentors**
This is actually considered a very unusual concept. For a very long time, I didn’t even know it was acceptable to approach a Dom. I thought I was just supposed to make myself appealing and wait for Him to want me and come and find me. However, as I have learned more, I realised that that’s still a pretty vanilla way of thinking... and that generally... those who approach, aren’t the types of Doms I’m looking for. The ones I’m looking for are the good kind of predator ;)
I believe it can help to eliminate many of the worries of wondering if they’re a potential predator... but definitely not all... it’s by no means foolproof. However, it does also provide the opportunity to slow things down and go at your own pace, which can eliminate so much of the stress around being new too. It’s not always just a case of someone rushing... sometimes it’s a case of being rushed.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s definitely still the unlucky chance you could find yourself messaging one of said predators, but in my opinion, the chances are much lower... because predators like the hunt. They’re more likely to be actively telling you everything you want to hear in order to be that trusty old teddy bear... or even the opposite... that you should automatically kneel before them and call them Sir or Master because “that’s what a good girl would do.”
Some may say approaching isn’t submissive behaviour. I see it as quite the opposite. To humble yourself in front of someone... and potentially face rejection... what could possibly be more submissive than that? It is definitely a very personally confronting thing to do, and not for the faint hearted.
Anyway, just thought I’d share this so that others can realise that there are more ways than one, to shuffle a deck of cards.
**for reference... a Mentor as I know them to be, doesn’t control your orgasms or require pictures or tasks. A Mentor generally, will help you get an understanding of ideas and concepts and how things relate to you. They will help you find your path and what works for you. Much like a Tutor... they will help to decipher. I advocate for both Dominant and submissive Mentors... however... once again... approach them yourself, as there are predators who like to use this as a cover.