Hidden In Plain Sight

‘Are you happy?’

‘In all honesty? No. But I am curious- I am curious in my sadness, and I am curious in my joy. I am everseeking, everfeeling. I am in awe of the beautiful moments life gives us, and I am in awe of the difficult ones. I am transfixed by grief, by growth. It is all so stunning, so rich, and I will never convince myself that I cannot be somber, cannot be hurt, cannot be overjoyed. I want to feel it all- I don’t want to cover it up or numb it. So no, I am not happy. I am open, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.’

‘I’ve never left someone I believed in.’

We all know what that means…

nudie sunbathingggggg! 😁

‘I'm talking about your behaviours instead of revealing my fears. I'm sorry. That's how I cope.’

‘Being truly faithful is not about physical monogamy. It’s about emotional integrity.’

After listening to a beautiful song shared here this morning, I sat back and thought to myself, “I’m going to start living as though I’m already living my life as I hope to.”

It’s amazing how one thought can open so many doorways to self-awareness. I had a flashback to being a child and having that feeling of “one day I’ll be able to escape from here and be free to be me.”

What I hadn’t realised until now is that I have maintained that belief. My life will start *after* I get out of “this current situation.” But what I’ve been doing is just continuously living that fantasy. There has never been an “after” where I do actually begin living the way I see myself authentically. And that has always been my excuse. Always seeking. Always waiting. Always believing it’s somewhere in the future, beyond my grasp.

So, today I begin living as though I’m already there. Living my life as I want to, as the person I want to be. Because “if not now, when?”

Soubhiyè

That period of time in the morning when no one else is awake but you, and you can have some quiet time to yourself before the household is awake.

For me, it’s that moment of stillness before the world wakes up. A quiet pause just before the birds begin to stir. And then suddenly, everything comes to life. Pure magic. This is my favourite part of the day 💕 

“Soubhiyé is the magical time of silence and solitude when you might be the only person in existence, a liminal space between dreaming and waking, the rest of the house still aslumber. Soubhiyé is an art. A time to gaze outside at the bowl of stars, savor the scald and smell of a good cup of coffee in your favorite mug.”