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Musings of a submissive heart on a journey to rebuild what has been shattered and broken. The warrior in her refuses to give up. Defeat is not an option. She embraces life heart wide open despite the pain it sometimes brings.
2 weeks ago. September 14, 2022 at 2:53 AM

 Somedays when my brain goes down this road it begins to be quite exhausting to keep up . its twisting and turning multiple highways at once at break neck speeds . it becomes a thought of all things edible nipple rings, bed time stories and delights, standing naked on ones head and singing the national anthem, Saturday morning cartoons replay thru your brain while a wolf man jack music memory lane countdown spews lyrics at me . 

I love rain bows and color annd organized chaos but in these moments when thoughts are maiing ribbons and bows and go from wanting to be tied up and spun to hunted and chased by my Daddy and wanting to just sit and talk thru almost anything to just the ability to ve able to lay my head down and sleep 🤷‍♀️.... So if you hear about any crazy redheads streaking thru the wilderness no worries im all good im just heading to Daddys to find his 👐

3 weeks ago. September 3, 2022 at 1:44 AM


As dawnlight breathed anew


She could finally catch her breathe

The onslaught continued but the warmth of his Sunlight embraced her anew


It didn't retreat with the moonlight it settled deep in her soul and finally she could see it all the light that was once hidden


All the secrets begin to whisper anew


He's kissed her golden and all the cracks begin to heal


Even though teardrops still cascade and a war still rages .. Once again she can raise her head end war on


She smiles abashedly at him with all the raw sassy saucy sensual emotions hes wrought anew in her.


The playful dance begins for yes


No longer bathed in the red of her broken heart the golden flows anew touching healing every part of her broken kingdom.


Life once again stirs


Let the giggles begin my friends its time to dance in those fields of flowers once more

1 month ago. August 17, 2022 at 12:41 AM

Clovers to shade


Night fades to day


The shimmer of dew whispers its pleasures


Sun caresses starlight as it breathes in a new day


She rises renewed luck in its place


Flowers peek out to capture the warmth


Her fingertips dance over there silken tips


Standing between two worlds each holds her heart


Both claim as home


She bellows a tune and begins to roam


She tip toes thru each rippled coolness and gasps as the waterfall licks away the marks of the night each shiver a reminder of his touch that brought such delight


She looks over the horizon her soul holding hope


Dawn risen love given the bliss remains from his kiss

1 month ago. August 15, 2022 at 4:02 AM

She walks in grace His presence the salve to her wounded soul


His voice the tether that keeps moving her in the right direction


His love takes hold


She lifts her heart in song


The treasures she holds all flow from Him


Breathing deep she once again yields her sword the battle still raging on


Yet this time Hes there to help her weather the storm


She wrinkles her nose as a silly grin forms


Her measure her whims start to take form and the opus wraps each note of the song that He has brought to make her whole

These past few weeks have been a gamut of learning and-finding myself and who I am finding my strengths again tethers me so that I can begin to find that place that belongs to me. The beauty is im finding my strength once again. When there is a Master builder at hand the work seems to flow smoother even with the blips life throwsy way

1 month ago. August 3, 2022 at 1:10 AM

You search the whole world over always feeling a part is missing .. When love finds you and you start to heal and you just trust and believe and enjoy the fullness that comes from security . I know its kind a sappy and weird but thats okay 

You search the whole world over 

And pray for love to start

You fill with longing as you search for that missing part

When you find youve had the pieces all along

And you listen to the rhythm of your hearts song

And the melody blends into harmony and its everything you ever wished it would be 

You hold on and enjoy the dance 

Baby as you give love a chance love takes wings and you learn to soar and you find youve held the answers on your own 

It took just one leap 

And there you are caught but its the sweetest bindings and its one that cant be taught

Broken pieces mending a heat building new learning to trust and its all in the heat of the moment that took a chance and made thru

2 months ago. July 19, 2022 at 11:52 PM


I wont lie Sunday had me by the neck and was ready for a take down move. I didn't fully prepare for my song. My heart was elsewhere especially with that mr special not there and knowing deep down i had truly royally blown and epic fuse ..even worse than my oops I did it again moments. And I cant lie I bawled myself to a fried stupor that night( I managed to go from snow white to kool-aid tight in one sunfilled day)


Fast-forward to today . I was ready to just call it 3 strikes your out and head to mars or pluto, with his song to start my day with a smile on my soul.. today I am feeling more hopeful. My tipsy turvy stopped spinning and I am without a doubt in a much better frame of mind and not walking into walls or tripping over thin air . and there something very special that is there to make me feel like I can tackle this chaotic world of redheaded mayhem with humor and grace once again. the sun is shinning and I can pull up my proverbial big girl panties and face this the music is back in my soul . I still want to take some time to really settle because my world was one big massive shake and bake from hell without snacks or sparkles for a while there. Life is short go for the things that build your heart and soul not tear them down. Shoot for your dreams even when life throws mad punches and never ever give up but follow that whisper in your heart that fear tries to silence is promise its worth the leap of faith 😘❣️❣️

2 months ago. July 18, 2022 at 3:08 AM

Have you ever made a move a misjudgment do bad there was no coming back from it and in hindsight you realize its the stupidest things you have ever done and it cost you more thsn you could bare..

Yeah that's me right here right now

Someone holds my heart someone i should have realized and made different choices 

Love yall if you really need me or wanna talk send me a line but this pains worse than all the rest and I need to keep my chin up somehow 🤷🏼‍♀️

2 months ago. July 17, 2022 at 4:06 PM

And here I stand loving you and im not sure what to do


The times ive been where I stand are times I left with my heart pulverized ln my hand


Ive given never taken im not sure what to do but when the chips are down i stand here loving you and now im not so sure just what im supposed to do


So I grab up my alms and tilt my chin and start that fucking lonely walk again and chain my hopes and dreams to the stars never to be seen it seek and not find this hiding game no longer mine its time for this treasure to fly amd yet here I am still loving you


2 months ago. July 16, 2022 at 5:32 PM

The wind blowing thru her hair whirling round around seeming as if there isn't a care. Hope hangs on by a thread but her heart isnt sure how much more it can bare now that youre hardly there. Depths of emotions that overwhelm and theres nothing to lead me from there this round


She lets the energy of the wind take her somewhere far from the heartbreak trampling through her soul arms wide she longs to leap and not look back but they cord that tethered in safety isnt there so she clings to that thread on a wing and a prayer to the moon and back and beyond thats the love she wants to soar on deeper than its ever been before hear the soul cry to the moon and back youre on my heart soul and mind.

Tomorrow I take a step I havent in along time. Today is 10 years since my life got flipped everywhich way including loose. Someone passed that was the glue that kept the world from slopping into hell. Its been many fight ir flight moments since then. Slowly shaking the fog off and moving forward but the tether that grounded me isnt there like it used to be so my worlds a kaleidoscope lost in a hurricane force wind and I cant seem to settle the emotions. Will it remember the words will t the person I most want there be there...chances are good they wont be but it doesn't change me wanting that. How do I bring my warm tea to warm may throat up with will there be a safe place for me to warm up how will it feels facing that crown after so long when my wounds are still so deep and sting which dress do I choose when neither is the one I would rather it be. But then I know ive always said grab life by the balls and hang on until it gives you an amazing ride ... But that girl is still licking her wounds and searching to hold on she knows her worth she knows what she longs for but yet shes walking along alone . is she alot to handle ..yes but oh hell its so worth the reward 

2 months ago. July 12, 2022 at 9:35 PM


Meet me under the moon tonight


Its where my heart and soul take flight


It longs and calls for something more


Its just not so sure it can trust anymore


My essence fights to soar free


So much confusion living in me


Whisper to me tonight across the breeze


Dance with me under the moonlit eve


Take my hand and prove that im yours


I wonder and dream what could Be in store and as I fall asleep may the moon draw is closer its what my heart beats for