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Tormented and True

About me, my feelings and anything
3 weeks ago. Jan 26, 2020, 8:34 PM

Im back and im feeling better than ever!


3 months ago. Oct 23, 2019, 10:13 AM

I am severely depressed,  I start chemo Thursday and radiation Monday. I hope it's worth it, I hope it will work and I hope I have the strength to fight 

4 months ago. Oct 14, 2019, 11:47 AM

Prayers please, I found out I am most likely going to have surgery, I have to wait till Tuesday to find out more when I go back for a follow up. I have been sick since Friday morning with severe stomach cramps and they have not let up, I'm not going to say what yet. I just hope all goes well. In tired of hurting like this, crying and having to sleep with a heating pad on my tummy for some relief to be able to sleep. 

4 months ago. Oct 13, 2019, 8:20 AM

Is anyone else having a problem with their kik. Mine deleted everything and won't let me log back in, it's like it deleted my account? 

4 months ago. Oct 9, 2019, 7:08 AM

Im really depressed right now, in emotionally and physically drained. Two days ago was the 16th anniversary of my dad's death. I was 14 when he died. I have been suffering from my insomnia even more lately. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him and what a great man he was. I cry when I think if him and what I missed out on after he was gone. My heart is heavy and there is a constant hole. I just needed to vent. 

4 months ago. Oct 7, 2019, 5:34 PM



A Woman with sex in Mind
I am a female
I am a fucking being
The two are, surprisingly 
Not mutually exclusive.

A whore, a slut, 
As the society might describe it
Are words with the meaning
To keep women submissive.

I may fuck who I please
When I please
For whatever reason I so choose.
And it doesn't have a damn thing to do with you.

Heaven forbid I'm not viginistic 
When my ring finger is bound
Because viginity is a 'gift'
I mustn't pass it round.

I must walk like a lady
And only fuck who I love
But the boys can run freely
Kiss and tell and call me a skank

He's been with eleven girls
And has a girlfriend on the side
I've been with two 
And not at the same time.

A pat on the back for him
Because he's got all the pussy
But social exclusion for me
Because my sexual nature is vicious.

God, I must be a whore
For actually speaking of sex
I'm a woman, we can't do that
But, fuck, sometimes I forget.

See, I was raised to hold my head high
Without looking up.
I was raised to be ladylike, polite
And wait until I found love.

I was brought up to hold my tongue
I was trained not to take up space
I was taught not to roughhouse about
Or follow the boys' ways.

I was brought up to fear sex
Until I found love or was married
But what the hell is love or a ring
When I can't even get equality?

I was taught that I should be ashamed
If I thought sexually
And I shouldn't even consider trying

I was told to hide my body
Because women are to be pure
If I wasn't pristine, who would want me?
I'd be a lonely spinster.

My body is my own
To do with what I please.
So fuck your expectations, Society;
I will have equality

4 months ago. Oct 6, 2019, 9:57 PM

Restrain me, detain me,
corrupting thy mind has changed thee.
Radical thoughts of dimensional existence,
is turning on lights to a further persistence.
What you see is what I show, walls come down when I finally know.
What we reap is what we sow.
Do you doubt these words that flow?
Read my eyes to hear my mind, Ignorance will lead you blind, so lend an ear and hear my secret.
I create how I perceive it, take my hand and feel this power.
Energy's our vital tower
Cleansing souls like a blissful shower, as we depict what we choose to devour.
I'm starting to realize the struggle is real and that is the reality of how I must feel. 
The best montage that sets me free, unlocking answers I hold the key.
You are someone just like me living life vicariously!

Written by
Catrina Marie Abbott

4 months ago. Oct 6, 2019, 9:53 PM

I am torn in two.
My head pulls one way
My heart pulls the other.

I am torn in two. 
I am drawn by the future I should want
And enticed by the one I actually do.

I am torn in two.
My mind follows the plan of the man who loves me
My eyes follow the man who never will.

I am torn in two. 
One half is content with the way things will be.
The other half yearns for the lives I will never live.


Amelia Ware

4 months ago. Oct 1, 2019, 3:01 AM

The knight in dominant armor was a gentleman, strict and true.
He did not know what he was about to get into.
He stumbled upon a submissive in distress.
She was in quite a mess.
She did not know what was going to become.
Until he stood out from among.
He saved her and guided her.
He was her protector.
She opened up and gave him her all.
For that he stands up tall.


By yours truly ; )

4 months ago. Sep 29, 2019, 7:57 AM

I just wanted to say I will always be willing to be an ear if anyone ever needs to vent, cry,  or just some friendly chatter! My inbox is always open.  Much love,  hugs and kisses!