Sadie's Sweets

There’s a medieval torture device called the iron chair. I understand it better than I ever wanted to. Here’s why.

My ergonomic office chair broke. No, wait! Hear me out! While I waited for a new one to arrive, I had to come up with some creative seating options. I’m on camera teaching most of the day, so I needed a solution at a certain height. Unfortunately, my best match was this camp chair/folding stool. https://amzn.to/4enq6GE

Even with a pillow on it, after sitting on it for several hours straight it started to hurt. A lot. The iron chair had spikes on it and my camp stool did not, but you could have fooled me.

First came discomfort.

Then out right pain. I couldn’t sit still and had to tell my students why I was moving around so much. I must have said ‘my butt hurts’ 1000 times. The guests at my monthly munch even got to hear the story.

I can totally see using this for a scene. Warning though, after a couple of days I started to have nerve pain so long-term siting is not recommended. By the 4th day of this just seeing the stool made me want to cry. I was never so happy as when my new ergo chair showed up.

New kinks less pain.

There are so many ways to discover new kinks and if a kink is right for you. If you’d like less painful ways to discover, then join me in my class, Unlock and Share Your Core Kinks Online Class listed here on the Cage. 

Also, feel free to post your favorite finds in the comments!

You've gone and done it this time. Really pissed of your Yandere Girlfriend. Now she's saying goodbye... Can you change this?

This audio contains degradation. Abandonment. Individuals who enjoy exploring these themes will be delighted with name calling and put downs.

Yandere * FemDom * Control

Listen here:

Another treat from my Project MoriKai!

You're invited to play along... though only do so if your doctor has cleared you for extreme work outs. Discover how deeply stress positions can torment your body.... and mind... With your favorite FemDom as its conductor...

DISCLAIMER - This is NOT how a real M/s or D/s relationship works. This is for entertainment and fantasy purposes.

Enjoy!

Our most important play partner is ourselves. We so often talk about the search for a play partner. While that can be fun it can also leave you feeling lonely and left out. Even if you do have a partner, there may be times that they’re ill/unable or far, far away. Time to get your solo kink on. Not only is kink possible on your own, it comes with some great advantages!

Self-Discovery

Embarking on solo kink adventures provide a unique opportunity for self-discovery. When you're alone, you have the freedom to explore your interests, preferences, and values without external influences. It's a chance to listen to your inner thoughts, reflect on your aspirations, and make decisions based solely on your desires.

You can try many different things on yourself to see if you like them. As a Top, I always try my toys on myself first before I use them on others. You can take a more scientific approach to see if you like different implements. Without the pressure to please someone, you can truly get in touch with yourself. As a top, target practice is a thing – a thing you can do by yourself.

Risk Management

As with every type of play, make sure you have a comprehensive understanding of your risk profile. What risks are you willing to take? Plan ahead, perhaps even arrange a safe call.

Cupping

Both fire cupping and suction and be performed on oneself. Suction cupping might perhaps be a bit easier. Either way, your thighs and midriff are excellent targets for this activity. Many people enjoy suctioning on their genitals. You have the freedom to experiment with how much suction you’d like the cups to deliver. When you know what you like, you can clearly communicate it to a partner should you choose to play with one.

Self-Bondage

Self-Bondage is a kink in and of itself. It does come with risks you should make sure you’ve prepared for. Ensure you learn as much as you can about it before you try it and make safety a priority. That being said, you can explore how you feel with different types of rope. In a rope class I took I learned a lot by tying my own legs in different knots, etc. While rope is not my strong point, I went to the class alone, I learned a lot and had a great time.

Abrasion Play

I love this as a sensory play. Yes, I love it when I have a partner who can do it for me, I love it just as much (if not more) when I do it for myself. I’m just as likely to drop in that yummy masochist-space when I do it for myself. I have a tendency to go farther when I’m alone – I don’t safe out on myself as quickly as a partner might.

Parasocial Play

If you enjoy hypnosis, tasks, or a wide range of other kinks, there’s a good chance you can find a content creator who has a vast library of experiences in which you can indulge. Solo Kink was one of my motivations for Project MoriKai. You can find some of my library here on the Cage in my blog. 

This is just a brief sampling of what you can do alone. Truly, the list is endless. So remember, you always have a partner. Sometimes you’re your own partner. And that’s the best partner to have. Enjoy!

How do you solo kink? I invite you to share in the comments.
 

Our second visit to the Conservatory of Dark Delights brings us the following listed below. Listen right here on TheCage!

Part One Talking Points

Changing perspective with the questions you ask yourself: What if you come out as X and people like it?

Pro/con lists of being yourself.

Risk assessment.

To find others, be yourself.

The community vs my community.

Part 2 Talking Points

Camio of my bunny

Here me stumble over talking about r*pe fantasy. I left this in to show that I still have nerves about expressing what I like in fiction, and I do it anyway

Conservatory of Dark Delights’ mission is to hold a safe space for individuals with unique identities and interests while fostering acceptance of diverse sexual orientations and erotic expressions through information, education, and joyful presence.

Have you ever seen the meme that says something like “tradition - peer pressure from dead people”? Often a rallying cry to make the holiday season easier, it can be applied to kink as well. Only some of the people are not so dead. As in mundane life, strict adherence to “tradition” in BDSM, for the sole purpose of continuing said tradition, can be detrimental to your fetish lifestyle growth. It was for me. I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be for you.

I spent way too many years trying to fit the definition of what a Domme should be. In particular older school-ish ways. And that was not, and is not, my style of domination. Trying to fit myself into one particular definition, the “traditional” or “stereotypical” Domme left parts of me withering inside. What it did cultivate was feeling like a fraud. That and some type of dysphoria.

There’s No One True Way

It’s crucial to realize that you are not bound by how things have been done before. The very essence of living your authentic kinky lifestyle  lies in breaking free from the limitations of the past and forging a path that is uniquely your own.

I encourage you to challenge the norms and question established practices. Ask yourself if they’re right for you. Ask others why they follow them. Learn everything you can. Your kinky authenticity  thrives on the spirit of exploration, pushing boundaries, and daring to venture into uncharted territories.

I invite you to reimagine possibilities and create solutions that break away from the constraints of tradition. There is nothing wrong in refusing to conform to the status quo if the status quo is not who you are.

A Freeing Mindset

This mindset encourages a departure from the fear of failure, as it acknowledges that true progress often involves taking risks and charting new courses. Breakthroughs are not born from conformity but from the audacity to pursue unexplored avenues. You only need to discover and be your kinky self. Not sculpt yourself into a mold that someone else has decided is ‘the right way.’

We are inherently creative and capable of transcending the limitations of tradition. So, embrace the freedom to think differently, challenge the norms, and pave the way for you to develop your kinky self unburdened by the constraints of the past.

Start with a question. How can I express my Domme/sub/switch/etc. nature in a way that feels right to me today? I invite you to share in the comments.

In the pursuit of trying new types of BDSM play, the power of the mind is often overlooked. One transformative, safer, and entertaining technique for exploring new ideas is mental rehearsal or roleplay. Visualization, mental rehearsal, and role play are used by serious professionals from musicians to athletes who want to improve their performance. We can also harness the power (and thrill) of this tool to explore new BDSM ideas.

Specifically, in this post I’m thinking of puppy play. Many people have told me they wanted to try it but were too shy to go through with it. I created a series of ASMR audio style roleplays (under the pseudonym MoriKai Momento) where the listener can act out the commands in the comfort and privacy of their own home. It’s a great way to see if it’s something you like. 

The audios involve the vivid envisioning of scenarios related to puppy play as well as physically (or mentally if you prefer) acting out the commands as if you were the puppy in question. Essentially, listeners can picture themselves engaging in the activities or actually do them. By mentally rehearsing these scenarios, or physically playing them out,  you not cultivate a profound connection with your goals,  you can also discover whether this type of play is or is not for you.

What makes this audio combined with role play  so powerful in the realm of puppy play is its capacity to transcend the barriers of doubt and fear. As you mentally rehearse, you build a reservoir of positive experiences, creating a nurturing space for personal growth. This gentle approach to exploration not only aligns with a caring attitude towards oneself but also acts as a catalyst for turning aspirations into reality.

You can find my puppy play series on my non-monetized YouTube channel with the latest one listed here:

I am thrilled to announce the return and reboot of my Talkin’ Taboo podcast after a prolonged hiatus. The journey leading up to this moment has been filled with anticipation, hard work, and a deep-seated passion for sharing meaningful content. I’m truly happy to reintroduce this project that holds a special place in my heart.

In this reboot you can expect a shorter format, fresh modern topics, a refined approach, and an authentic exploration of mindset and embodiment as well as discussion of edgier play types and issues. This new approach promises an enriching experience for both loyal listeners and newcomers alike.

During the hiatus, I took the time to reflect, refine my vision, and explore new ideas to make the podcast even better than before. The process was both challenging and rewarding, as I honed my skills, curated fresh and engaging content, and fine-tuned the overall experience for my listeners. The support and encouragement from my audience during the hiatus fueled my determination to bring back a podcast that not only meets their expectations but exceeds them.

As I hit the play button on the first episode of the rebooted podcast, I look forward to reconnecting with my audience and forging new connections. As always  I eagerly await your feedback and engagement.

This reboot marks a new chapter, one filled with enthusiasm, creativity, and a deep appreciation for the journey that brought the podcast back to life. I am genuinely grateful for the support and patience of my audience, and I cannot wait to embark on this thrilling adventure once again.

If you’d like to get early access to the newest episodes you can DM me for more information.

General release will occur a week later right here on the Cage!

While kink in general tends to place immense pressure on individuals to conform to certain standards of beauty and attractiveness, it's essential to remember that not everyone experiences the same emotions or self-perceptions. Case in point - I almost never feel sexy. I used to wonder if there was something wrong with me. Tbh, I’m not even sure what ‘sexy’ is.

Maybe it’s because I tend to skew demisexual. Or sapiosexual. Maybe it’s because I tend to find tentacle hentai super arousing. Or maybe even I have a gross misconception about what ‘sexy’ actually is. Sometimes I wonder if ‘sexy’ belongs to the elite realm of kink models who meet a more currently stereotypical aesthetic of beauty. 

One Thing I Know For Sure

It’s ok to not feel sexy. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that there is no one true way. In reality even for those who do feel sexy, I know that feeling sexy is not a constant state. It comes and it goes, like all feelings. What I’ve also learned is that I need to focus on what feels good to me. And in that sensing, that feeling I find it’s more important to embrace the concept of sensuality.

Feeling sensual is a deeply personal and empowering experience. Sometimes for me, feeling sexy is associated with external validation and societal expectations. Alternatively for me,  sensuality is about connecting deeply with my inner self and experiencing the world through my  senses. It's about being in tune with my body, emotions, and desires, rather than conforming to any external ideal.

Sensuality

Sensuality invites you to explore your physicality and embrace the pleasures of being in your own skin. It's about enjoying the way your body moves, feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin, or reveling in the simple sensations of fingers (yours or someone else’s) running along your skin. It's about savoring the textures, scents, tastes, and sounds that make life beautiful.

Sometimes by shifting your focus from feeling "sexy" to feeling "sensual," you can free yourself from the unrealistic expectations (any expectations other than your own) of what a Domme, sub, switch, kinkster, etc. should be or look like. It allows you to appreciate the unique and intimate connection you have with your own body, fostering self-love and acceptance.

It's important to remember that sensuality is not bound by age, body type, or appearance. It's a state of mind and a way of experiencing the world that can be empowering at any stage of life. So, if you don't feel sexy, that's perfectly okay. Instead, embrace the sensuality that's inherently within you, and you'll discover a deeper, more fulfilling connection to your true self as well as your kinky self.

Do you feel sexy? What is sexy to you? I invite you to share in the comments.

Note: This is written from my POV. Please swap in appropriate pronouns for yourself.

No, I’m not talking about masturbation, although I do enjoy that too. I’m also not talking about looking in the mirror, cupping my plentiful breasts and telling myself how luscious my melons are - although that may or may not happen occasionally. What I am talking about is physically showing love to my body. Loving it. Checking in with her and asking her what she wants.

Brain AND Body

We’re a very brain focused society. We work on our mindsets, our positive affirmations, our prayers and what not. These are all wonderful things. Sometimes, though, they don’t get to the core of what we need. A large part of self love does include gazing in the mirror and telling yourself you love you and your beautiful. Also telling ourselves that we need to eat a vegetable and shoving something green into our mouths. And still, there’s an age old adage…

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Often you need to show your body that you love her. And that begins with listening. Does something hurt? Maybe skip the “pills and a power through” approach and do some gentle exercises to strengthen or stretch the part that needs it. Does your body crave rest? Give it to her. Movement? Move! Listen to what your body has to say and deliver the goods.

The other night my body was craving a long, hot soak. I gave it to her. Usually, I’m pressed for time and just do a quick shower. But that night I put the rush aside and I loved my body. Gave her exactly what she wanted. Soaking followed by a bout with the Korean Scrubby Cloths that I love so much. I so rarely use the cloths properly, but that night I did. Soak, scrub, soak.

How do you love your body? Let me know in the comments.