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A Recovering Pick-me

All my random sexy and non-sexy hyper-fixations and such.
1 week ago. March 26, 2025 at 7:12 AM

Ugh, 

So my first fling after getting out of a 10 year narcissistic relationship has fizzled out. I’m sad. I feel devastated inside. I mean he was half my age, but I was hoping it would be something more. So, I’m hella hurt and sad. He wasn’t ready for a relationship. It’s understandable, but he did say things that lead me to believe that we could be something more. He told me he was confused in what our relationship status was, but I said we can’t just friends, because my heart wants more from him. So yeah, looks like another bad night of sleep for me. 😒 :( :(

3 weeks ago. March 13, 2025 at 2:56 AM

I left!

I did it!

It’s scary as hell but I’m out of his grip!

I couldn’t take it anymore. 

I am so done 

 

It’s upwards and onwards from here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

It makes me feel like I'm floating on air!

 

<3 <3 <3

Ugh,

 

I think I'm in puppy love right now!

It's scary and awesome to feel this way.

I just needed to announce it somewhere safe.

 

I'm going to listen to some music now!

 

 

 

 

 

Is the fact that I want to feel free like a bird but I want to be dominated at the same time. Like… I feel like that’s two different things entirely. And sometimes I feel like I want to be dominated because I lack direction, so if I was a person that had more direction, that was more firm in my decision-making, would I still want to be dominated…taken…by someone? Completely? Or am I meant to be a free bird and soar the skies…? 

I dunno ?‍♀️ I guess I’ll come back to this question in a year or two. As they say…

”Time will tell”

 

… When you close your eyes and go to sleep
And it's down to the sound of a heartbeat
I can hear the things that you're dreamin' about
When you open up your heart and the truth comes out
… You tell me that you want me
You tell me that you need me
You tell me that you love me
And I know that I'm right
'Cause I hear it in the night
… I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
… When I hold you in my arms at night
Don't you know you're sleepin' in a spotlight
And all your dreams that you keep inside
You're tellin' me the secrets that you just can't hide
… You tell me that you want me
You tell me that you need me
You tell me that you love me
And I know that I'm right
'Cause I hear it in the night
… I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
… When you close your eyes, and you fall asleep
Everything about you is a mystery
… You tell me that you want me
You tell me that you need me
You tell me that you love me
And I know that I'm right
'Cause I hear it in the night
… I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep

 

Gimme, gimme, gimme some time to think
I'm in the bathroom, looking at me
Face in the mirror is all I need (ooh)
Wait until the reaper takes my life
Never gonna get me out alive
I will live a thousand million lives (ooh)
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
Our patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
I-I-I got this feeling, yeah, you know
Where I'm losing all control
'Cause there's magic in my bones
I-I-I got this feeling in my soul
Go ahead and throw your stones
'Cause there's magic in my bones
Playing with a stick of dynamite
There was never gray in black and white
There was never wrong 'til there was right (ooh, oh)
Feeling like a boulder hurtling
Seeing all the vultures circling
Burning in the flames I'm working in
Turning in a bed that's darkening
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
Our patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
I-I-I got this feeling, yeah, you know
Where I'm losing all control
'Cause there's magic in my bones (in my bones)
I-I-I got this feeling in my soul
Go ahead and throw your stones
'Cause there's magic in my bones
'Cause there's magic in my bones
Look in the mirror of my mind
Turning the pages of my life
Walking the path so many paced a million times
Drown out the voices in the air
Leaving the ones that never cared
Picking the pieces up and building to the sky
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
I-I-I got this feeling, yeah, you know
Where I'm losing all control
'Cause there's magic in my bones (magic in my bones)
I-I-I got this feeling in my soul (soul)
Go ahead and throw your stones
'Cause there's magic in
There goes my mind (I-I-I)
Don't mind
There goes my mind (there it goes, there it goes)
There goes my mind (I-I-I)
Don't mind (there it goes)
There goes my mind
'Cause there's magic in my bones

On Fetlife. 


They want me to pee and poop in their mouth.

or they don’t mind if I'm on my period..

they will happily oblige!

 

Should I take them up on their offer?


just kidding…no need to answer that last question, I may just pass and pretend I never ever saw the message!

 




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