A Recovering Pick-me

I left!

I did it!

It’s scary as hell but I’m out of his grip!

I couldn’t take it anymore. 

I am so done 

It’s upwards and onwards from here!

It makes me feel like I'm floating on air!

<3 <3 <3

Ugh,

I think I'm in puppy love right now!

It's scary and awesome to feel this way.

I just needed to announce it somewhere safe.

I'm going to listen to some music now!

Is the fact that I want to feel free like a bird but I want to be dominated at the same time. Like… I feel like that’s two different things entirely. And sometimes I feel like I want to be dominated because I lack direction, so if I was a person that had more direction, that was more firm in my decision-making, would I still want to be dominated…taken…by someone? Completely? Or am I meant to be a free bird and soar the skies…? 

I dunno ?‍♀️ I guess I’ll come back to this question in a year or two. As they say…

”Time will tell”

… When you close your eyes and go to sleep
And it's down to the sound of a heartbeat
I can hear the things that you're dreamin' about
When you open up your heart and the truth comes out
… You tell me that you want me
You tell me that you need me
You tell me that you love me
And I know that I'm right
'Cause I hear it in the night
… I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
… When I hold you in my arms at night
Don't you know you're sleepin' in a spotlight
And all your dreams that you keep inside
You're tellin' me the secrets that you just can't hide
… You tell me that you want me
You tell me that you need me
You tell me that you love me
And I know that I'm right
'Cause I hear it in the night
… I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
… When you close your eyes, and you fall asleep
Everything about you is a mystery
… You tell me that you want me
You tell me that you need me
You tell me that you love me
And I know that I'm right
'Cause I hear it in the night
… I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you're talkin' in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep

Gimme, gimme, gimme some time to think
I'm in the bathroom, looking at me
Face in the mirror is all I need (ooh)
Wait until the reaper takes my life
Never gonna get me out alive
I will live a thousand million lives (ooh)
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
Our patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
I-I-I got this feeling, yeah, you know
Where I'm losing all control
'Cause there's magic in my bones
I-I-I got this feeling in my soul
Go ahead and throw your stones
'Cause there's magic in my bones
Playing with a stick of dynamite
There was never gray in black and white
There was never wrong 'til there was right (ooh, oh)
Feeling like a boulder hurtling
Seeing all the vultures circling
Burning in the flames I'm working in
Turning in a bed that's darkening
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
Our patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
I-I-I got this feeling, yeah, you know
Where I'm losing all control
'Cause there's magic in my bones (in my bones)
I-I-I got this feeling in my soul
Go ahead and throw your stones
'Cause there's magic in my bones
'Cause there's magic in my bones
Look in the mirror of my mind
Turning the pages of my life
Walking the path so many paced a million times
Drown out the voices in the air
Leaving the ones that never cared
Picking the pieces up and building to the sky
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
I-I-I got this feeling, yeah, you know
Where I'm losing all control
'Cause there's magic in my bones (magic in my bones)
I-I-I got this feeling in my soul (soul)
Go ahead and throw your stones
'Cause there's magic in
There goes my mind (I-I-I)
Don't mind
There goes my mind (there it goes, there it goes)
There goes my mind (I-I-I)
Don't mind (there it goes)
There goes my mind
'Cause there's magic in my bones

On Fetlife. 

They want me to pee and poop in their mouth.

or they don’t mind if I'm on my period..

they will happily oblige!

Should I take them up on their offer?

just kidding…no need to answer that last question, I may just pass and pretend I never ever saw the message!

The devil rims me

My mom always said I was going to hell. She said that ever since I was 5. I know. Fucking crazy right? So I always liked the color black, upside down crosses and my first word as a baby was baphomet...Okay okay… the last 2 factoids about me maaay not be true. That’s for me to know and you to find out eh?

I guess I was like the typical teen. Into goth shit. I hung around the alt crowd, although, I was pretty much a loner, which is typical for an introvert like me.

Anyways, let’s get to the good shit.

I've been having weird ass dreams lately. But this last one didn’t feel like a dream and I’ll get to that in a moment.

I’ve always had very lucid dreams.

Think like flying over the city at night or going to another country you've never been in your life and taking in all that you sense and see. Or seeing your friends at the mall and hanging out at your guys' spot.

You get the idea.

Those were the type of dreams I had. Innocent. Fun. Normal.

Until...

I turned 19.

My lucid dreams started turning after I...well...got into some...like demon/devil porn recently...

Sometimes people in those demon devil costumes look cheesy as fuck but I dunno...I find it...hot

I watch those computer animations too of devils/demons fucking human women and men

Anyways...

A fairly recent dream I had was being in a forest naked and having satyrs dance around me when one suddenly knocked me to the ground then roughly finger fuck me. And tongue fuck me. That dream...woah...I woke up super horny and wet.  I think I was even gyrating my hips when I barely awakened and my sheets were soaked and not just from sweat. I couldn't believe it. I had to grab my dildo from my dresser right away.  Let me tell you, that thing glided inside me so quickly and I pounded my pussy hard that morning.

But I wanted more of those dreams, I wanted more of those sensations, and I wanted it to be real.

I wanted it from the king of hell himself.

You know how they say "Grab life by the horns"...

Well, I wanted to grab the d-man's horns and sit down on his throbbing cock have him ram it inside of me.

Would it be red? Who knows. But I'm completely obsessed with the thought.

Which brings me to the dream that was more than a dream...

To be continued.