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The Tavern

Welcome to the tavern. Here, you find shared encounters, thoughts, and expressions.
What does it mean to be a part of the lifestyle?
What does it mean to live it?
What are we, and how do we come to be?
Come in and have a seat.
1 week ago. July 10, 2024 at 3:52 AM

I've spent much time delving into boxes of literature and notes. Recounting conversations with peers, evaluating how my last 25 years in the lifestyle have changed and how the lifestyle has gotten away from a few basic guidelines.

We all take a chance, risking ourselves putting forth time and effort. Be you Dom, Domme, Sub, Switch—even the vultures, cockroaches, and leeches.

Be it to build something worthwhile through learning and communication. Be it escaping the reality that slowly consumes you. Be it to seek justification or instant gratification through others(even temporary). Trolling others to cause a hard time because of hurt or disappointment. Or, curious about BDSM. Everyone takes a chance.

Our motives drive us to actions that either form bonds or cause strife. Motives, genuine or selfish, should always be weighed before taking action. Action, once taken, cannot be undone. Dom/Domme and Submissives alike need a better understanding of what our motives are.

Some reading this will become defensive or cringe, and that's alright. Just look inward and reevaluate yourself. Some will nod and move on. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. That's one of many things that makes the lifestyle remarkable! It is ever-evolving, and more of us are discovering our Dom/Domme, Submissive qualities and nature.

There are tools at our disposal that aid in research and kink. Almost anything can be found on Amazon, Love Honey, or Dungeon sites. The downside is nearly everyone has access. The idea of kink excites and moves some to explore without taking precautions, seeking and subjecting themselves to things without knowledge or understanding.

While experimenting can be fun. It is essential to understand what you are doing to others and yourself. Never shy away from asking questions. You may need to ask the same question multiple times, which is fine.

Know the motives of those you engage with. Be the Dom/Domme or Submissive. A simple question can save precious time and prevent hardened hearts.

There are no perfect dynamics. We all have flaws. It takes time and effort. Remember the essence of the lifestyle. It's a beautiful thing. Let's try to keep it that way.