Nellie(sub female){owned}

"Humbled Spirit"

True knowledge comes from experience... not the books you read and stories you watch. Reading is without a doubt a way to learn and get knowledge ... but unless you have experienced the situation on hand, you haven't a clue. "God "humbles those who don't humble themselves. Life experiences are for a reason and the pain is for a reason. It's Gods way of teaching you about you. How can you know who you are, unless you know who your not.

Debilitating....

6 years ago. November 1, 2017 at 2:13 PM

Dear Blog,

I get my pic-line put in for the "third time tomorrow. I have "Lyme Disease" from a tick. It went 2 1/2 year under-

diagnoised, therefore has spread trough my whole body. It all began Febuary 2014. Was sleepy for a month , then pain

came all over my body. My mom has fibromylija , therefore I thought thats what it was too.. Doctors diagnoised me with it

also. Three months later my periods came back to back. No one knew why. Ended up having a partial hyrectomy. Having

bladder infections alot, come January 2015 , my hair started falling out. Brushed it off , thinking it was a the new shampoo

I was using" Wen". Still in chronic pain mildely, come June 17th , 2015 I woke up sweaty and at 12:00 pm felt a warm

sensation come trough my whole body and my head started going down. Went from a can to a walker overnight 47

symptoms, seizures, body paralysis, stroke symptoms, heart attack symptoms, memory loss, falling, gravity in my body,

hair falling out, bladder infections, hot alot, headakes, visual problems, not sleeping, the virus hit my neurological system

spine and brain. Went 5 months trying to get help and they kept sending me home or blaming it on my bi-polar. I found

my disease by putting out a video on facebook asking for help because the doctors where not finding out what was

wrong. They suggested "Lyme " and they where correct. Words can not express the pain and despair of not knowing

whats wrong with you for 5 months and no one believing you... yet running tests and sending you home.This will be my

3 rd pic line since nov of 2015. Because my state doesn't acknowledge " Lyme Disease" I suffer daily with memory

issues, neurological, brain and spine , hair falls out, rashes, etc... SO DEBILITATING YET YOUR HUMBLED AT THE

SAME TIME!!

DUALITY.

Bittersweet seduction....

6 years ago. October 30, 2017 at 12:55 PM

Dear Blog,

As, I sit here watching the clock ;waiting to wake up my little girl for school.The mind begin's to wonder....to float

and bounce from one fantasy to the next. Does he crave me, like I crave him? Does it turn him on ,making me wait on him

and feel the burning passion deep into your soul to where you throw-up . Is that his plan? To mess-up my emotions and

test me?To know how to control me? Hummmmm... a slow

seducement.... or head games....

"Time will tell and ocean currents will flow, into the deepest part of our souls teaching us to grow.

Sincerely,

Duality

What a submissive means to me...

6 years ago. October 29, 2017 at 11:47 AM

Dear Master,

This is what a good submissive is to me. Someone who loves and respect's her Master

and understands that his domination is out of his love for her. She is always bye his side to

protect him and make sure he's happy. She challenge's him so they can grow and learn from

each other. Here submission is given to him as a gift. not to be taken lightly and he knows it.. She

craves him, she balances him. She's everything his heart desires and she knows it, so she can

know her place. She accepts her punishment out of love and respect for him and knows its for

her own good. She is caring, emphatic, submissive, yet strong enough to say how she feels. A

true master to her, enlightens her soul, is strong knows she is his and takes care of her

emotionally and financially.. She knows her role as a women and takes care of the home while

he's at work.

Sincerely

Duality

Insider....who knows.

6 years ago. October 28, 2017 at 11:02 PM

So much pain and hurt in the world today. So many test that are coming from "God" , yet some refuse to see it. The beer burns as it's going down, to flutter in the heart of my stomach, waiting to move trough my veins and relax my soul. Your shoulders start to ake, then a sense of freedom comes over you completely.... your free.... free from pain and free from worries. The music runs so deep even your goosebumps pop. It's freeing your mind , even more.... time to dream and dance to express your love. With sunshine in your eyes crying blood.

So Ironic....

6 years ago. October 24, 2017 at 4:27 PM

Dear Blog,,

So funny and ironic how life experiences from "God" help us grow as individuals.

I met my " Master I believe about two weeks ago.. and in that time period I have cried more

than I have in two years, however them tears helped me to grow and learn about myself and him

as individuals.

Picture it, here I am lost in "vanilla world " battling dark desires I have never had

before, no memory recall , sick, angry yet humbled...craving for a change. All I know is this man was out of nowhere talking to me and liking parts about me I wasn't use to being liked but needed the admirement " It was my soon to be Master". Not recalling , how we met. I said hi to

him out of where.Push comes to shove there was something about him that reminded me about me. My gut told me he was born April 2.....correct:) we have had some of the same trama's and I could relate to him. plus him being a master excited me. Still in Vanilla land I found myself being trained but not realizing him helping me.. it was subtle his training..as he was helping me I kept rebellion against everything, YET hooked and falling in love at the same

time. We are so much the opposite but the same , It caused alot of friction.. Because of my past experiences and trust issues it caused me to lose sight of me and he is helping me to learn to trust in myself , buy him not trusting in me because of his past experiences. Ironic huh? I am in week two, of a fresh start to training. I was lost but now found and really was found the whole time , not realizing because of worry and my own demons. .. Thank you god!

Sincerely, Duality

" Silent Cry for Doctors "..

6 years ago. October 23, 2017 at 1:12 AM

Nellie​(sub female){owned}