Aftercare

I feel Master's flogger across my thighs, my butt cheeks, my back my shoulders - warming my skin with every strike

I hear Master's labored breathing mixed with my moans and occasional yelps - it's not from pain but surprise and awe as the flogger strikes another sensitive spot of flesh

I taste the cherry flavored chapstick on my lips as I bite my lips, holding back the sounds attempting to escape my lips.

I smell Master's woodsy cologne as it fills the room mixing with my black cherry perfume. The air is also heady with the smell of arousel and sex.

I see nothing, my world black behind the blindfold yet in the blackness, I see everything.

I love when my playpartner uses me and all my holes.   So much fun... wish I could see him more often though...

When one is alone they truly walk alone. Her friends and partners may say they are there for her, but where are they when she reaches out for help? "I'm too busy, I don't have time for that..." They say. "I cannot provide you with what you need and want..." They say. "You cannot handle that..." They say.

The thing is, I have handled that before and did well with it for years! You say you don't have time for 'that' but you spend hours on your phone or watching television each day and you cannot even take 15 seconds out of your day to tell me hello! You say that you cannot provide me with what I need/want but then jump into a new relationship where you are providing just what I have asked you for!

Don't say you will be there when you obviously are not going to be there. Don't say she's not alone when she truly is alone when she expresses her needs and wants and you discard her like yesterday's trash... 

What do you call a submissive with no Master? Nothing... 

It was just another Saturday night at the club. The BDSM and Swingers club that she frequented was in full ‘swing’ for lack of a better term. People were already paired off for what she liked to mentally call ‘Round 1’ and in a while, they were all end up at the main area for refreshments and then off, they would go with new partners for ‘Round 2’.

She surveyed the area that she was walking through, bodies and limbs of people in various sexual positions. All of them were enjoying themselves in their sexual desires. This area was a sex-only area, which did not stop some of the just on the edge of BDSM activities but kept the harder stuff at bay. It was an area to try not to “Scare the Muggles”, as they discussed in their staff meetings. She giggled as she heard some lady whisper ‘Oh yeah, fuck me big Papa!’ to her partner. She left that area and headed to another area.

This room was a bit edgier with some BDSM equipment but mostly just equipment for fucking and slight restraint. The people at this club had never seen her do anything beyond occasionally having sex with a few select partners. They were mostly other staff members that she was already close to. She surveyed the area, keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. She stood off to the edge watching, before deciding to head back to the first area.

“Princess Down.” She heard the words, and they replayed in her head but her body instinctively lowered itself into a kneeling position with her head lowered. The reaction to those two words could only come from hearing them from the person that planted them in her mind. He walked around in front of her and she saw His boots in front of her. She knew those boots anywhere – resigned, she closed her eyes and lowered her head further. Those boots didn’t normally come to this club, though. There was only one reason they would be here… for her.

She knew the activity around her had ceased by the soundlessness in the room. She felt as He gathered her hair into a ponytail on her head and bound it. He then placed a thick collar on her neck, securing it into place. He lifted her chin with His finger, His deep brown eyes meeting her already tear-filled eyes.

“I think it’s time You and I had a talk.” He said softly, but sternly. He was the only person that would ever attempt to put her into the place that she was in at this moment. He was the only person who knew those two words and even if others did know them, she would not respond to them.

“Yes, Daddy.” She answered softly in reply. He was her first Dominant. He was the person who had trained her to be the submissive that she was. He was the person that had complete control over her at any time – no matter the relationship that she was involved in.

Not that it mattered. Right now, she was not in a relationship. Having just broken off a mostly vanilla, but swingers relationship, with a guy who found other pleasures of spending money on gambling and hookers more exciting than paying his bills and going to work. “Good luck to bad rubbish…” She thought.

She had lived with her roommate for six months. The roommate was in a D/s relationship that she met up with the guy twice a week – a bit of a Dragon Horde situation. Not that she had gone without but it had been a bit of a wild streak of guys from the bar that she brought home and fucked. Some of them didn’t even make it home and instead, they used their vehicles and in one case the backside of the bar.

“You are way out of control again, Princess.” He said securing the leash to her collar. “Let’s go have a talk.” He said lifting the leash and pulling upwards. She stood up and ignoring the throng of people watching the situation unfold, she followed Him, my head bowed, towards the deepest and darkest part of the venue.

Except in emergency situations, most people at the venue had never seen me in this area. He did not even hesitate as He guided me to a spanking bench and secured me tightly to the padded bench by my wrists, ankles, thighs, and waist. This was going to likely be worse than the last time He had come out to “have a talk with me.” That time she had disobeyed some serious rules from training. This time she wasn’t really disobeying rules, but she was not exactly being safe in my activities either.

She felt His hands on her skin, rubbing the flesh not covered by the straps holding her down. She saw another pair of boots appear in front of her on the floor. “What are your slow and safe words?” She recognized the voice immediately as the main group Dungeon Monitor Ian.

“Matrix and Butterfly.” She answered softly. She saw the boots walk away, obviously satisfied with her answer. She felt someone testing the straps biding her. She could still feel His fingers caressing her skin as DM Ian gave his approval and moved away.

“Princess, I thought you were done with your slutty ways with strangers,” Daddy said softly trailing his fingers down her backside. “I’m hearing reports, though, that you are out being very naughty.” She felt His fingers leave her body only to be replaced by a solid object against her skin. “This is not going to be pleasant.” He stated.

The few strikes against her tender flesh caused her to cry out loudly. She noticed that the lights were slightly turned down and soft music began playing in the background. “Scream and cry all you want, Princess, nobody cares about that!” He whispered in her ear. He chuckled before starting His assault on her backside again. She screamed and thrashed with every strike until she begged.

“Please Daddy,” She whimpered, “I’m sorry. I will be good. I promise.” She yelled out repeatedly.

“I don’t believe you!” He ground out, striking her again. “You have been totally out of control is what I hear.” His voice was loud and firm as He continued striking her ass and thighs.

“Daddy, I’m sorry!” She cried out, tears falling freely down her cheeks.

“Were you trained to be some stranger's slut?” He questioned as His strikes continued on her ass and thighs.

“No Daddy!!!” She cried out, her body trying to twist away from His strikes.

He put His hand on the small of her back and waited until she stopped fighting. “Good girl,” He murmured, “but we’re not done yet.” He said softly as He switch implements. He began striking her again, hitting her ass and thighs watching as the pink and red welts formed on her skin. Her sobs were filling the room as He continued to land strike after strike on her skin.

He switched to another implement, harsher and more demanding, as she continued crying, protesting, pleading and screaming. Her pink and red welts were now angry and red with some purple. The crowd in the room, which had increased greatly in size, watching in awe as He punished her – something they had never seen involving her previously at this club.

She was a sobbing ball of incoherent words now. His eyes met that of the DM and they both nodded to each other. The DM came over and helped Him release her from the bench. DM Ian’s submissive brought a blanket and a bottle of water to them as He guided her to a recovery mattress. He wrapped her in the blanket and into His arms on her side, as He encouraged her to take a few sips of water.

She continued to cry and apologize softly as He stroked her hair and head. He cooed at her to encourage her to be quiet. “Relax Princess.” He said softly. He pressed the bottle of water to her lips and she took a few more sips before nodding and laying her head on His chest.

“I made the mistake of letting you go on your own Princess.” He said softly still stroking her head and hair. “We’re going to remedy that situation.” She nodded in her haze but looked up at Him. He fingered the collar on her neck and looked at it before looking at her. “This stays on from now on, understand Princess?”

She nodded, lowered her head, and closed her eyes. “Yes, Daddy.” She answered, her voice soft. This was going to be the restart of their relationship and this time, He was going to put her exactly where she should be in His life.

He was upset! His phone had alerted Him last night that she had used her code to get into His house but she had neglected to lock the house when she left. He had trusted her to come in, check the mail and water the plants while He was gone for two weeks. Good thing He was coming home a day early. His house had already been unsecured for twelve hours. He was fuming as He turned His car onto the block of His house. He immediately became intrigued, though, when He saw her car in the driveway. “Has she been here the entire time?” He asked aloud. He parked His car next to hers and , deciding to get His luggage later, climbed the steps to His door.

He opened the door quietly and was surprised to smell the aromatic smells of fresh cooked bread mixed with pasta and sauce. His mouth immediately watered at the delicious smells that were filling His house. “Why was she going through so much though?” He wondered, since He wasn’t due home for another day. There is no way she knew He was coming home a day early since He had told no one of His early arrival. His anger returned when the thought of her meeting someone else at His house filled Him. “She would not do thar!” He swore to Himself. Though they were not exclusive, He knew she would not disrespect Him by bringing another man to His house. It did not stop Him from scanning the front door for a foreign pair of men’s shoes.

Once confirming they were not present, He walked up the stairs of His split level home. The warm, aromatic smells filled His kitchen, wafting through the house. The fresh baked French bread lay on the counter, and He could see the pot of sauce simmering on the stove. He took the spoon and dipped it in, bringing it to His lips for a taste. “She was such an excellent cook!” He mused to Himself. “but where was His little minx?”

He moved through the upper part of His house but did not find her.  Stopping to listen, He heard music from downstairs, following the music, He found her. She was a vision, lounging in His hot tub naked, a book in one hand and a glass of amber liquid in another hand. Her tits bounced just at the top of the water and unlike normal, her long hair cascaded down her back.

“Hello my toy.” He said softly. He chuckled when she yelped and plunged under the water. At least she was mindful to keep the book and glass of liquid above the water.  He walked over and plucked the glass and book from her hands, pulling her up out of the water in the process

She sputtered and wiped the water from her eyes. “I wasn’t expecting You home until tomorrow, Sir!” She spat out through her surprise.

“Obviously…” He said, looking down at her as He began removing His clothing, dropping it on the chair next to the hot tub. “Were you expecting someone else here tonight?” He asked climbing up onto the edge of the hot tub.

She looked up at Him, glued to the spot she had been caught in. “No Sir.” She answered softly. “I was going to surprise You by stocking the fridge with dinners and pre-made lunches.” She admitted.

“Ohhhh, that is so thoughtful.” He said stroking His cock and raising and eye brow. “I have something else that you can show your thoughtfulness to.” He said continuing to stroke His length.

She immediately moved between His legs and took His length into Her mouth. Though He hated to do it, He gathered her long hair behind her head. He loved watching her suck His cock. He loved watching His cock plunge in and out of her mouth. He expecially loved fucking her face and watching her cheeks hollow out as she tried to catch her breath between His strokes.

She sucked and plunged but He also guided her on His cock just as she knew they both liked it. “Did you miss him?” He mused as He plunged into her mouth deeper. He felt and heard her throaty moan. She whined a bit when He pulled her mouth of His cock, but that wasn’t where He was going to cum today.  It had been two weeks and He had plans to cum in other holes.

“Upstairs to the bed.  Face down, ass up.” He said. He watched as she scampered out of rhe hot tub, leaving the towel for Him. “So thoughtful.” He thought, knowing she would grab another from the shelf by the door.

When He arrived in His room, she was laying g just as He instructed. “Bring your arms through Your core to Your ankles.” He said as He grabbed some choice supplies from His box of goodies.

“I have a new thing I want to try out.” He said as He put everything together. “Is my toy willing to be a test subject?” He stood up and looked down at her. She was in a perfect position.

“Yes Sir. I trust you.” She said confidently. He loved and enjoyed her trust in Him.

He would the waist belt around her first and secured it tightly. He then secured her wrists and ankles together. “What have I gotten into?” she squeaked softly.

“OH, just wait my toy, there is more.” He mused looking down at her exposed body. Everything was on display for Him and He intended to use that to His advantage. The new cuffs where awesome, keeping the wrists and ankles cuffed together.

He reached down and grabbed the strap that connected to the waist belt. The first thing was to insert what He knew would be the hardest and largest part into Her ass. Judging from how wet she was dripping,  however, it might not be a task. He lubed up the butt plug and began slowly inserting the bulbous head. She panted and tried to buck but found quickly the reason for the restraints.

“Oh God Sir!” She cried out when it finally seated in her ass.

“Good toy” He mused as He gas a swift but soft swat to her ass. He then opened the folds of her vagina and inserted the large dildo inside. She was full in both holes, but this was not the end, He reach around, connected the front and nestled the butterfly vibrator right onto her clip.

He got up from the bed and looked down at her as He grabbed His phone and turned on the program that controlled all three apparatus on her body. “I would tell You not to cum but I know that will be setting You up for failure. I will just tell You to enjoy.”

He saw her body start shaking and knew that the program controlling the plugs and butterfly was working. It was set for thirty minutes of up and down vibration that would take her through a series of climaxes and down time. He stepped into the shower, mostly to wash off the travel grime, and listened as the first wave of climax hit her.

The big question was could He wait the thirty minutes to plunge into her? It had been two weeks since His dick had seen any action.  The bridemaids at His friends wedding weren’t even interesting enough for a coat closet fuck. He wouldn’t be surprised if His friend was back surfing on His couch in less than a year.

His dick sprang to life again as He heard her moans from in the bedroom. Her cries of climax filled the air and He fought the urge to palm His cock and take care of Himself. He would not though knowing He would waste His gift when He could use the toy bound and helpless on His bed.

He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. He could hear the triple vibrators torturing her, but her breathing was slightly calm. He looked out, and she was covered in sweat and the splash pad below her was soaked. He smirked as He walked around rhe bed to her head. “Open!” He gruffly commanded barely giving time for her mouth to widen before plunging His stiff cock deep into her throat. She moaned and He saw her eyes roll back as He fucked her face slamming His hips repeatedly into her. He felt His balls tighten and quickly withdrew from Her. He wanted to cum deep inside of her but not in her mouth.

“Such a good little toy.” He murmured as He moved around her. He released the clip holding the vibrator in her already soaking pussy and pulled it out. She began bucking wildly as He placed the tip of His cock against her pussy. He slapped her ass a few times. “You don’t control this!” He said watching as His red hand print developed on her ass in several spots.

Achingly slow, likely more torture for Him than her, He guided His cock deep inside of her. He could feel the low vibration of the butt plug still logged in her ass. He wiggled it around and she let out a long, low moan. “Do you like that plug deep in Your ass, my toy?” He ground out as He worked His cock slowly in and out of her pussy. He felt the vibration of the plug starting to increase and knew she would be a mewling ball or climax shortly.

He increased His rhythm as the vibration increased. The butterfly on her clit vibrated against His own cock. “Damn!” He ground out through clenched teeth as He tried to slow down slightly. She tried to bounce on His cock but He quickly caught her hips and dug His fingers and nails into her flesh.

“Oh God Sir!” she cried out. He knew what was coming and He quickly grabbed purchased onto her hips. He increased His tempo again, slamming deep inside of her. As He predicted, her verbal litany of dirty talk came cascading out of her mouth. “Fuck your toy, Sir. Fuck my naughty pussy. Fuck me so deep and use me!” He was sure she had no control of her faculties at this point since her loud vocals were words she would never say in general context. He smiled as she cried out her release and watched the tears forming and falling down her cheeks.

Without warning, He unclipped and removed the plug from her ass before slamming deep inside her ass. She screamed out as He held her down into place, slamming His cock further into her with each thrust. Her incoherent words and cries continued as His body tightened, His release reaching the precipice.

“MINE!” He roared as He came deep in her ass. He held her still as He continued pounding and pouring Himself into her.

When He was spent, He removed the cuffs and helped her lay down. He tenderly wiped her up and then curled her body into His. “Mine.” He whispered softly. He felt her nod her head before His body drifted off to post orgasmic sleep.

Today's Journal Prompt from the Submissive Guide asks me to reflect on "What activity that you engage in involves all of you; mind, body, and soul?" For me, this would be modeling. I started modeling again a few years ago after taking a very long time off. Having my ex use my modeling pictures against me made modeling unappealing for me. When I stepped in front of the lens again, though, I was immediately transported to a place that I cannot explain in just a few words.

This question, however, encapsulates the feeling that I have while I'm modeling. While I'm posing - whether it be sitting, standing, laying or whatever, my mind, body and soul are taken to a place where it is just me in a fog - a cloud - an unreal plane where nothing else in the world around me exists. Honestly, the photographer isn't even there but slightly just a voice telling me occasionally what poses to move my body into, outfits to change into and/or changes to make to poses that I have made. 

It's been a few years since I started modeling again and I've done quite a few boudoir setups, some clothed, a couples water shoot, mostly local, seven shoots in Hawaii, one in a creek (the water shoot), and have worked with quite a few photographers. I love being back in front of the lens again and enjoy seeing the different art that photographers create. I would love to explore more - when I have time - just so I can feel that high.

The biggest gift you can give to any partner in any relationship is your vulnerability. This can be your vulnerability during a scene, emotionally, or any other way to gift your vulnerability to your partner. In The Ethical Slutm, Dossie Easton and Catherin A. Liszt write that "Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability…nothing deepens intimacy like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing to share in the scary stuff". It's not just about the submissive being vulnerable, but a shared vulnerability.

In my very humble opinion, it is imperative that an s-type see a D-type vulnerable as well. This will show the s-type that it's okay to show feelings of positive emotions and vulnerability. The most connected intimacy of a partnership is definitely based upon that shared vulnerability. Without that, does the relationship really deepen and grow? Does the relationship thrive? Does the relationship really have a deeper meaning beyond the surface of the connection? I, personally, do not think so. Positive emotions and vulnerability have to be displayed and accepted on all sides of any relationship in order for the deep intimacy of a relationship to thrive and grow. 

How does your Dominant Discipline You?

This is the question in today's submissive guide journal prompt. Routine is the foundation of discipline in the relationship. When a rule has been broken, there is a protocol... a routine that is followed in order to handle the discipline. A clear, defined outline so signify where the discipline starts and where it ends. When the discipline is over, the transgression is forgotten and life can resume. So, how does this routine happen?

"babygirl, come here and kneel down." Master says softly, but sternly. i know from the tone of His voice that i am in trouble. i walk over to his chair and kneel down in front of Him. He is sitting in His chair, His presence ominous in front and above me. "i am very disappointed in your lack of attention in detail to your chores, babygirl." He comments softly as He rolled up the sleeves on his button-down shirt. Honestly, the fact that He had not had me roll them up for Him when He came home should have been the first clue that i had a punishment coming tonight. "Do you believe you have been doing a sufficient job on your household chores babygirl?" He asked. His voice was still even and calm, as it always was during punishment times.

"No Master," i answered softly. In honesty, i had been neglecting the sufficiency of my chores.

"Yes, you have been." He agreed. i knew He would not ask why because there was honestly no good reason for me to neglect my chores. "Scoot back, babygirl." He said as He stood up from His chair. Scooting my kneeling body back, I heard His belt woosh from the loops of His pants. my body shuddered as the reality of the situation overtook me. i had known from the moment He had called me over to kneel down that i was going to be punished but the sound of the belt coming out of the loops of His pants caused the reality of the situation to slap me in the face.

He walked around behind me and trailed the belt along the skin of my back. "your chores have been insufficient for the past five days." He began. "I had hoped that you would remedy the situation yourself, but you have not. Do you agree with that statement, babygirl?"

"Yes Master." I whispered softly feeling the belt as he trailed it along the skin on my back and my front side.

"Good babygirl. For that, you will receive five lashes on each cheek. Do you understand babygirl" He said standing directly in front of me. This was the stance He took waiting for my acceptance.

I took a deep breath and knelt upright, offering myself to Him. "Yes Master, I understand that I will receive five lashes on each cheek, with Your belt for not sufficiently completing my household chores for the past five days."

His gaze was on me, his arms crossed across His broad chest, the belt dangling from His hand and between his arms. His stance was wide and firm. i knew He was not happy about this punishment, as with most punishments that He had to perform with me. He nodded His head ever so slightly and then moved around behind me. "Move up onto My chair." He said softly.

As I moved my body up onto His chair, tears had already started to form in my eyes. i didn't like disappointing Him - hated it more than i hated being punished. i knelt on the edge of the chair and leaned over putting my hands onto the back of the chair. In this position, my ass and upper legs were presented to Him. i tucked my feet so that they were protected and then lowered my head.

Just had I had assumed that position, i heard the woosh of the belt flying through the air. Immediately it struck my left ass cheek and the air left my chest. i gasped loudly but held myself together. The second and third lashes landed quickly on the same cheek and thankfully, He delivered the next two blows to my right cheek. i held back my screams, but not my tears, as He continued the lashes until He had reached the ten lashes. my ass was on fire and the tears were freely flowing down my face.

I climbed down from the chair, turned around and knelt before Him. "Tell me." He said, His voice still stern.

"i was punished with five lashes on each cheek with Your belt for not sufficiently completing my household chores for the past five days. Thank you Master for reminding me of my place and my duties to You. In the future, i will remember to complete my chores with sufficiency to your expectations." I stammered through my tears.

"Very good babygirl." He said. i watched, with my head still lowered, as His feet moved around and knew He was sitting in His chair. "Climb up." i turned around and climbed up onto His lap, curling up into His safe and strong arms. These were the arms that had just brought me pain, but these were also the arms that kept me safe. There were the arms that protected me, but this was also the Man that expected me to live up to the guidelines that He had outlined for me. This was the Man that expected me to live up to the guidelines that He had outlined for me, but those were the rules and protocols that i had agreed to.

He let me cry until my tears were all cried out, let me sip water until i was calmed down, held me until i was ready to move again. He knew, however, that i would remember these moments when doing my chores.

A set start, a set finish... a set protocol... a set routine... 

"And painful pleasure turns to pleasing pain." Edmund Spenser - The Faerie Queene

This came to me today in the most unfashioned way and caused me to think back to a time. A time when I was trussed up, bound, secured to your rack. It had been a while since I had been there so every lash of your implements hurt. Oh did they hurt!! Each strike on my tender skin caused me to breathe in deeply as the sting burned its kiss across my skin. I wiggled only to hear your command of me to stay still. I know I should stay still for my movement could cause you to strike a part of me that should not be struck. Oh but each strike hurts...

"Breathe through the pain," I tell myself. I follow my inner voice down the path of that mantra as you continue your ravishing of my skin. A strike here, a swat there, a smack here, and another strike there... before I know it... The painful pleasure turns to sweet, sweet pleasuring pain... and I... I am swept away in that pleasurable pain.

My head lulls backwards and I feel your naked chest against the tender skin of my back. My cheeks are wet from my tears and your strong arms are around me, holding me up. "I've got you." You say softly.

"Thank you Sir." I whisper. "Thank you Sir."

The relationship ended and my play collar was returned to me, in the box that He had made for me with my name on it. So what do I do with it now? It's not like I'm ever going to wear it again. I can't even look at it right now so it's buried in the back of my closet. What do I do with it though? It's 2 artists' craftsmanship. I cannot return the box - I have no clue where that came from. The collar - I ordered it - I know where it came from. Do I mail it back to Him and explain why I'm returning it? 

Someone told me that I should destroy the collar and the box and put them into a fire. Make it a cathartic release... but I cannot bring myself to destroy someone's art. I just cannot do that - I think that would hurt more than the cathartic release of getting rid of the implements. *sigh* so... what do I do with them now?

For now, they sit in the back of the closet, gnawing at my brain and my heart - mentally reminding me that they are there and him still renting space in my brain... What do I do with them now?