My Random Thoughts, Rants, and Vents

Have a wonderful day 😁😁😁😁

Are people so used to lies that the truth is unbelievable? 

Was thinking about my journey and the changing of the seasons the colors of the leaves looking so beautiful that song written by Pete Seeger popped into my head. 

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=xVOJla2vYx8&feature=share

Just walking through the turns of this season trying to admire the beauty and acknowledge the pain of loss without dwelling on it.  Making friends and talking with them Dom, sub, switch, and vanilla, old ones and new. I am appreciating them all for their input, time, and kindness.  

I find music to be very moving, healing, and thought provoking at different times. 

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=wGj9oADcyRs&feature=share

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=sFZGATwiGeM&feature=share

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy9poGs-w6Q&feature=share

I very much enjoy music of different kinds and have been listening to an eclectic mix over different genres.

I am taking time to learn more about the D/s lifestyle been listening to the podcast Loving BDSM. They have so many great topics and insights and I enjoy their banter and give and take during the broadcast. 

I heard this song and it made me think of this lifestyle. 

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=UqoTVDJa8J8&feature=share

I think that is all for now. 

Realizing this week. That the grief over the end of my last relationship is affecting me more than I realized. I thought I could just move on and find someone else that the ending wouldn't really cause me any grief or disturbance.

This week I realized how deeply the ending of my dynamic/relationship had hurt me. Having trouble keeping the grief to myself, behind the walls of being a good employee, a good mother, a good daughter. Harder to pretend I'm not about to break down in a pile of tears and pain. 

Just working on keeping one foot in front of the other. Decided to take a step back and deal with my grief. To heal before trying to move on. Looking back I am realizing how many of my behaviors recently were driven by trying not to feel that grief, trying to hyperfocus on other things so I didn't have to think about it, trying to bandaid it by talking to others and pretending it didn't matter.

Simply trying to move on to quickly and not deal with what I was feeling was not smart. I can only hope that I didn't do any damage in my determination to avoid my grief. 

Writing this in an effort to heal to try to start dealing with that grief and pain in a more healthy way.

Looking for new podcast suggestions. 

Current list:

Cautionary tales with tim hartford

Crazy in love

Crime junkie

Full body chills

Killer psyche

Loving BDSM

Our fake history

Ridiculous romance 

Sci show tangents

Scoundrel history's forgotten villian

The food that built America 

The opportunist

This podcast will kill you

I listen to podcasts a lot at work.

I try out new ones simetimes when none of the others have new episodes or I get bored with them and want something new. So I am looking for recommendations. Love to hear your suggestions 

There are so many interesting people on here. I can start talking to someone and either know to start with or learn shortly in that there is no way for anything to progress beyond friendly flirting or chit-chat.  

How frustrating.  

Not only is it necessary to figure out who is looking for the same things you are and who is only pretending to be looking for the same thing, either in order to either stroke their ego or make use of my holes for their own gratification, but finding someone close to my location is also a trial. 

Add in my fairly busy schedule and I may as well trying to find a needle in a field of haystacks.  But despite that I stay optimistic and hopeful.  I am not in a hurry. I have wonderful friends male and female, Dom and sub. A couple of Doms who would like to be more but location location location 🙄. 

I am slowly rebuilding my profile after a split from my last Dom. It was a sad process but staying in one place mooning over the past and what cannot be is not healthy.

Time to move on and enjoy what life has to offer. 

I am curious what other people find to be the hardest obstacle in finding/meeting someone new?

For me I would say first location then mutual desires or cravings both sexual and non sexual.

I am tasked with writing about my relationship with my Dom. I don't know what to say...

I am happy things are going well in and out of the bedroom. Whenever we have an issue in either place we calmly discuss it. Find a solution or understanding whatever is needed for the particular issue at hand.  

He is better than I could have hoped for. We thoroughly enjoy each other  and have many things in common. He pushes me to be the best me I can by being firm in areas where I need assistance and showing love and understanding when I am having a rough time.

Hoping that things continue to go well.🤞🤞😉💋😁