My Random Thoughts, Rants, and Vents

Been stumbling about talking to a few people here and there trying to find the right Dom for me.  Well I really think that I have succeeded.  He is patient, kind and giving. Yet also stern and not gentle when needed or desired.  He wants what is best for me and is helping me to be a better person in ways that I want to be better. 

There are good people on here sometimes it just takes a bit to find the right match. I have been lucky in that I have met a few great Doms on here but have finally found a match.

🥂🍻

I think celebrations are in order😁🥳

Sometimes I get so tired of scraping things back together and starting over. I know that is the name of the game but it is frustrating. 

I have been told that I am unusual that I don't think like others. I guess I just don't understand why people don't seem to see things like I do.  Lol maybe it comes from being Aquarian.  

So I am back at it. No point in spending a lot of time where things are not right. Everyone should be able to be themselves and be accepted for who they are. Everyone is unique and worthy of being the best they can be and being loved and accepted for it.

I am new to blogging but I have found I enjoy it. Everyone here has been supportive and I enjoy the way people have differing opinions. I like to see different viewpoints that people are coming from. It is very fascinating. 

Best wishes to all😁

I like to take time around my birthday to evaluate my life and decide if any changes need to be made. This year I think I have some major changes that need to be made. Last year I started in a direction that I thought would make me happy, due to covid I have not had the opportunity to truly find out.

I need to make a final decision about the person I am semi-seeing and things are going to have to radically change or time to move on to another opportunity.  Thankfully that should be resolved this week.

Work wise I am doing well. My family is in as good a shape as can be so all is well on those fronts. My house and car are in good shape though when the weather gets better more things will need to happen on the house constant improvements over time.

All in all I think most things are going well.  Only one fly in the ointment to deal with immediately so I can't complain to much as these changes are within my power to make. So congratulations to me and Happy Birthday and Valentines day to me.😁💘🥳

How can you tell if a relationship has come to the point of time to move on?

This is the dilemma that I have been wrestling with for the past few months. How long to wait for something before your just wasting time.

I met a Dom on this site and just as we started to get to know each other and had met a couple times once in public and once at his house then COVID hit. We never got to the point of making things official.  We are just in some kind of weird holding pattern. He got extremely busy. We haven't been able to spend much time together.  When we can I think we have a great time. He said he enjoys our time together and wants more. Unfortunately this is only about every other month and sometimes only for a couple hours at most. We have never done a scene or even had any kind of sex. A little kissing and touching and me giving oral. Neither of us has been seeing anyone else. Lately it seems he has been losing interest.  I have been getting more frustrated and sad maybe even a little depressed. I just can't help but think that if he really wanted to see me he would find a way. We only live an hour apart. I have tried to come up with ideas even so far as traveling to where he happens to be.  He travels a lot for work. I will admit I don't have much confidence in myself. I need the reassurance that he thinks of me and misses me and wants to see me.

He says he wants communication so I tried to regularly tell him what I'd going on with me and what I am thinking.  But the communication seems to be mostly one sided. He doesn't seem to open up to me unless we are in person. I am thinking I misinterpreted what he meant by communication. He will text me if I text first but rarely if ever does he text first. Phone conversations I could count on one hand and video chats are a never. Maybe I have been to needy or asked for to much. If so why not just be straight with me and tell me?

Recently he was supposed to text me and let me know if he had to go out of town, this was on a Wednesday and he was supposed to text by Thursday to let me know.  I heard nothing from him and I waited and waited. Finally on Saturday night I texted him needless to say I was upset. I didn't rant I just let him know he had hurt me and I was angry.  (Mostly angry with myself for allowing him to be important enough to hurt me). Turns out he had a family emergency which is why he didn't text on Thursday.  Which is fine but I thought that by Saturday I would have deserved a short text to let me know what was going on.

He says he expects and gives respect but I don't feel very respected. I asked him to let me know when he wants to see me and have stopped texting. I don't want to play games but I don't like the feeling of being so low on someone's priority list that I can't be bothered with. Kind of squashes my already low confidence and self esteem. 

I don't want to give up but I don't want to be disrespected and treated like an afterthought either.

Feels a little better to just let it out.