The thoughts of Lady_N

Let me start from the beginning. 
My name is Lady_N, and I am still looking for my true nature and true expression when it comes to domination. 
When was a little girl, I dreamt of being a big boss in some multinational corporation. Not for the money. For the fear and respect. I fantasized about all the important businessman kissing my hand and being afraid of the sound of my high heels. 
I think that the power is my main fetish. 
As I was growing up, I discovered a lot about BDSM. Unfortunately, most of those things were related to crazy women using foul language and being too violent. 
I despise that. And I thought there is no place for me within the BDSM world. 
Until I met a certain man from Germany, who believed I am the genuine Queen material. After a long correspondence (more than half a year) I decided to meet. 
Th first time when I felt the soft leather of a horse crop in my hand, my palms started sweating. And I knew there is a place for me. 
I am still looking to find that place. And to define myself. 
The only thing I know for sure is that being a Queen is not a roleplay. Is a way of life.