It was the first time I saw the movie Secretary (hence the script) that helped me realize that I was a Submissive. Please, go ahead and laugh, I know I am as I write this. But it's still my all time favorite movie so if you haven't seen it, may I recommend it to you?
I was quite the sexually active teenager, full of raging hormones and self hatred (disgust) that fueled a past, present, and future of self abuse. Having already faced several traumas I understood life to be a struggle at a young age, and sought solace in varying forms that manifested into men, booze, and food. I am still putting together the pieces and am only now becoming my fully developed self- even if I still wear an A-cup haha.
I won't bore you with a bio, and my profile is up-to-date should you care to know more. Returning to the relevant: there are parts of my character that I am unable to remove. Other parts have yet to surface because I lack the capacity/knowledge to release them. Never having had the privilege of belonging to Sir combined with a late blooming emotional maturity have been two most detrimental facets contributing to my stagnant cumming of Cage as a Sub.
I am a Submissive woman seeking balance. That connection with a man in a context no other dynamic could provide. I am scared I may never experience the lifestyle I have so desperately wanted when that movie so brilliantly displayed my life (albeit a variant). In joining this site, I believe I have found the place where I can grow, fall, develop, fail, shine, and hurt.
I continue to wait for the man who will save me from myself. You know who you are, and I hope you will find me here, documenting, laughing, and crying but doing so because I was told I had to, but also it is because I want to. After all, it is what's best for me. Perhaps in doing so I will finally be freed from the falsities, misunderstandings, ignorance, and naiveties I have buried myself in for far too long. I m stronger than this.
Thank you for your time, truly.