Hello

What can you truly say abou the little green monster that lives within, other then it's a ugly little monster.

She has had her share of jealousy, but also have found that little monster has been more true to her then any other person in her life. She can't say that there is anything that she can truly do but try to fight that little monster, but she finds herself feeling that emotional rush when there is nothing but lies around her. If he can't be true with her then where in the world is the trust that should be apart of them each and every day. She finds herself alone, wishing that there was light at the end of the tunnel but know that there is nothing but the darkness, of this little green monster control every single aspect of her being, as she wishes that this little green monster will just leave her.

It's hard to say what this little green monster within her would show it's little ugly face again, to feel this pain once again of just being lied to overs and overs again. And knowing that the truth will come out once again not by him but by other, to feel that pain, the twist of the knife twisting within her, making this heart bleed once again filling her soul with the thigh cold redness of blood, her eyes feeling the warmth of those tears running down her face and knowing that there will never be that moment to save her from that little green monster, not even the one who has bring her the pain, her Daddy, her Master, her world.

So she says to her little green monster, "You have won, again!"As she lays upon the cold floor bleeding out, forming a pool of redness around her.

Do she really feel as a little/princess/baby girl/brat? 

She can't really explain the reason why she has found herself relationing herself to being a baby girl/sub/brat, she's found herself yearning for this Daddy to take her into his arms and save her from the world around her, as the world hasn't always been good to her. She didn't have a childhood as all normal children did, but was given pain, hate, sadness, loneliness and feeling as if she didn't matter at all. 

But she know that in some kind of way she was submissive to men, even do she's this woman, a mother of two children, a grandmother, independent person and once married (divorced), but she felt that she had to take one this role. She wasn't lucky like those were where able to sleep with a teddy bear until she was able to take on this role, in some way she was child-like in this world, expressions this little joy and sadness, but Daddy told her that it was one of those things that endeared her to HIM. She loved when Daddy kissed her on her forehead, pulled to covers over her, and made her truly feel safe for once in her life. But she always enjoyed when Daddy punished her, leaving his mark upon her skin, and showing her who she belonged to, knowing that no other will have the place in her heart like Daddy those. 

It was different for her, living the D/g dynamic to improved their relationship, of the behaviors inherent in being this little, trust, often fostered over a long time, has changed. Her fears were lost in this wide-eyed child she never truly know. But mostly for never having to worry about being judged. SHe fears are only fears, and they can all be overcome. And even when those past memories return to her mind, she knows that she's afraid, but Daddy will comforted her and allow her to cry in his arms. That the nightmare won't take her back into the darkness. 

Emotinally, she is more stable being able to engage her little within, knowing she can leave the stressful world, nightmare, pain behind her as her Daddy takes away all those feeling away. She is at peace with herself when Daddy is able to release those unwanted feelings.

Now this is a question She always have been unable to answer, for her, she thought of herself as a servant to her Master O but now that she has been doing research has found that she isn't a servant but a sub/Daddy's girl/ brat, mostly since Master O has treated her as a brat giving her the world and making sure she is safe from things that has once hurt her before in the past. 

Her submission had not been so easy for her to learn that Master O has some many other but have been dealing with it little by little, so really she doesn't relate to her title has a servant but more as her Master O's baby girl/brat/sub....

Yesterday was a awesome day, Daddy's lil monster got off work early, so she decide to get shopping for something that Daddy would enjoy once he got home, when his lil monster got home she finished up any task that needed to be done and get prepared from his return home.

Once Daddy was home, we laid in bed cuddling for moment, before his lil monster began to please hm with her body, but he didn't want her to please him but wanted to please hie lil monster, sending her in to heavens above, hearing those angels singing, which was amazing. Daddy pleased his lil monster but his lil monster was ready to please him in return and she did. He was happy as his lil monster was also. 

It was a amazing afternoon enjoying one other that Daddy and his lil monster fall asleep in each other's arms before he had to return to work.

And as he was leaving, he made sure his lil monster was covered with her favorite pillow and gave her a kiss upon her forehead for leaving. She is truly bless to have her Daddy O....

I've found myself in a tube as I usually go to escape my mind but instead tears  are streaming down my face and telling myself, "Who am I?"

Surely, I'm not this woman once again in the shower crying my eyes out wondering if I am good enough or good enough as she is for him!!! Because seriouly ain't supposed to be this woman completely lose herself in this world. I used to believe that I belonged here, to be here for him, for him a the man that I love. I used to believe he did but then I was told otherwise by his daughter, friends, and his other women, slave, his queen. And I used to have this personality, dreams, drive, and friends but mostly this belief that I meant something more to someone and maybe I do and I chose not to let myself believe!!!!!

They say that love truly blinds you, in which I believe. Because I've found that one that my brain connects with, that my heart adores like crazy and this sparkle in my eyes that can't faded away, even when the relationship demands compomise or scarifices and made yourself for sake of the love you hold for you. This feeling that you never will lose for him bevause in your eyes he is still the ohne and only love of your life because he truly is that for me.