Mistress Umberlee’s Blog for brats and wayward subs (also umbers music box)

You didn't believe in heaven... so my first inclination to say happy heavenly birthday seemed, well, rude.

Of course, I have often been rude and I am full of dark humor and bad puns these days.

The hourglass, the '2 minute timer'... the 'after all these years and the man ghosts me...(literally)'

Still, I remember so much and still I know... There is so much I will forget.  I know that there

One of the first honest conversations we ever had was about which song defined you at that moment in your life.

I gave you, "I am a rock" Simon and Garfunkel 

You gave me "Whisper" by Morphine.  I should have looked it up RIGHT then.

And that exchange was the way of things, wasn't it? Chase and retreat. The rise, the fall.. tears, laughter.. and the banter..

g-d the words that would be exchanged when we would go toe to toe.

Quip or poetry.. and an entire Discord conversation in  Autherian style - prose and poetry.

 

Love letters that would be the envy of others- a love for all ages in a life too briefly spent together.

Memories as friends and lovers..

and the one thing I have lived my life trying to avoid - regret.  Your third bottle coulda shoulda woulda - only mine and sober and every damn day. 

Because of you, I am not a rock or an island, and without the companions you either shoved on me or pushed me to remember, I would be lost.

 

You who refused to be a King, but rather a knight, the Englishman who liked being English but hated where you grew up.

Last night we should have celebrated your birthday- instead I watched Momma Mia and Love Actually alone.  

It takes time, because I am adrift, and this has been a cascade because those whom I anchored are also adrift

 

So happy birthday Invictus, my great one, my dorkbrain, goon and most beloved AH.

 

G-d keep you until I find you and get to say seeee I was RIGHT!!!

.

 

 

Technology is a great tool right?

Helpful...

supporting

and sometimes 

RUDE AS F

I have issues with Alexa and her music taste

when it randomly it stops my songs to play THIS

 

 

 

SeRIOusly

"Music, When Soft Voices Die"
by Percy Bysshe Shelley

Music, when soft voices die,
Vibrates in the memory—
Odours, when sweet violets sicken,
Live within the sense they quicken.

Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,
Are heaped for the belovèd's bed;
And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,
Love itself shall slumber on.

 

The sun is the same

There is no difference in the rain

and still

there is loss

there is anger

there is the raw gut wrenching reality

that nothing will be the same

though the laundry gets done and your hoodie is there and the smell of your soap lingers in the shower

your cologne lingers on the pillow.  
if I never make another cup of Earl Grey…

If I never have to say.. “I fucking dare you” again

or “omfg really?!?!?”

if I never hear.. “yes but how much water or did you sleep? 
my life will be different… 

But it won’t be over

I am not a child… I fight my own battles 

and I sit my demons down for tea.

i don’t need a Dom to make my life work…

I can love and live and be…

others have called me little one… someone might again.  

Maybe it was too much to ask or maybe not enough

but who knows who will wake up?

dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde
or where you will be

or what comes next

or how it happens

or how the personalities get shuffled

or what hand I would be dealt or most importantly 

do I even want dealt in 

but the sun is still shining and I’m have ice cream for dinner

 

 

if you don’t know what my tattoos say- don’t give me advice.  If you can’t speak my language don’t assume you can understand me.  

now how about the stuff on my musical rotation tonight 

 

 

 

 

translations?

 

ok and then this hits so fucking hard

 

 

 

I woke up cross and spoiling for a fight.  But when the chance to get the fight out, I didn’t swing back. Why?  Not sure.  Flare day and fatigue is kicking my butt.  So, Godsmack is playing in my office.  

Vampires, I Stand Alone, Love-Hate-Sex-Pain, Voodoo,  Straight Out of Line and You and I.  

but then…  who knows… sometimes even a pretty little hate machine needs a damn nap

Butterfly

Sitting on the floor- naked

Nervously waiting

He makes two loops

Slides them over my hands

Pretend you are praying

Oh Sir.. I am.. truly

It is a leap of faith

An act of trust- I tremble

 

He winds the rope

Around my body

My praying hands

To my chest- hugging

 

“Not behind me?”

“who is doing the tying?”

His mischievous smile

Then all seriousness

 

“You’re completely safe

You will know safety

Like a cocoon

And will emerge

 

“My butterfly”

 

---my butterfly

My brain goes quiet

His blue eyes

No longer seeing me

The rope wraps

Columns of knots

Intricate patterns

I have lost time

His hands skillful

Though long unused

For this purpose

Awaiting this moment

 

Down my body

The red rope moves

Pressed to my skin

his touch brushing

 

becoming breathless

held fast, safely

by the rope

and his promises

 

the rope slides

over his hands

wraps my hips

his fingers close

 

the brush my core

lightning courses

heat fills me

and then wetness

 

for a moment

embarrassed

does he not notice

he doesn’t gloat

 

it was unfair

to promise not

to fuck me like this

aching like this

 

the knot placed

right there

at my threshold

is soaked

 

his nimble fingers

work down my legs

safe but fevered

the rope caressing

 

the bow at my ankles

he is pleased

he smiles at his work

I am his art

And will be freed

As his butterfly

Its been a very long time since I posted one of these.  Ask me anything- You can put the question in the comments

However, keep it polite and let me know if you want your answer in a mail put (p) at the beginning or end so I can answer accordingly.

 

 

Just a moment let me straighten my crown- and stop rolling my eyes.

Mistress Umberlee here.  I heard this today and almost lost my happy thoughts. (that's a nice umberlean way of saying I almost lost my shit on someone.) SO let me say this about that, if your sub is suddenly needy, maybe there is a bigger issue.  I have known many perfectly wonderful subs that become very needy when their needs are NOT being met. Did something happen that might make them 'clingy'?    

If a very obedient and independent sub is suddenly clinging to you, take a pause and look at what might be causing that.  I won't rule out that some subs require more attention than others. I would also point out some dynamics handle "neediness" differently. Dynamics are relationships- let me repeat dynamics are relationships.  However, subs are human and all humans have needs. (Oh and big bad Doms are human too, even when they forget that)
Want to turn an obedient sub into a brat?(not the cute playful brats- they come like that)  Neglect will ruin a sub’s disposition faster than anything.  

I guess all I am saying is, if the sub is suddenly different with you- look around and see if there might be a valid reason before you start complaining about them.