Live and learn

I’m a product of the Cold War. Im not very proud of that. 

Im in a moral dilemma. The pshrink just tells me to relax.

The employment of nuclear weapons was my chosen trade.

Now im being told to relax.

I’m not sure what I’m trying to say. Sympathy is never acceptable. Everyone makes choices.

In my profile picture, I’m the one in the middle. Everyone avoids the middle.  It’s a dark place.  No one volunteers to be in the middle. 

I’m not sure where I’m going with this. I’m just trying to get a handle on my thoughts. 

I was sitting with the X this afternoon. We were dissecting our failed relationship. 

The conversation turned to kink. We had tried anal once in the 1990's. It was a bad experience. That was our only experiment beyond super conservative sex  

During our discussion, we both confided that each was very Dominant. That was a trip for both of us  

We then presented pictures of our kink. It was one of the hottest experience of my life. There wasn't anything sexual, except that we each learned something new about each other after more than 25 years. 

Its a testament to trust and friendship even though we split up. 

Once again, we were sitting, shooting the shit and drinking beer. 

As usual, the conversation wandered to sex. 

We we were discussing likes and dislikes, and the communications involved. 

We were in a sorry situation where she was shy and I was bold. Her situation was obvious, mine was a bit outlandish. Yes, I communicated, but my approach was out of line. 

I knew my desires, but was over bearing. 

As we chat, she's regretting not listening and I'm regretting my impatience. 

Now we talk about desires as reasoning adults. She also borrows toys from me. A day late and a dollar short. 

25 years of marriage wasted. 

I've been chatting with my Vanilla X wife. 

I'm astonished at the level of neglect that a couple can achieve. Married 25 years and we've learned more about each other after we split. 

She suspected for a few years that my tastes in many aspects of life are divergent from acceptable norms. 

When the dog got on the bed while I was railing her, and it put its cold nose on her spincter I laughed and said I felt left out. It was just another day for me. She was devastated and ashamed  

Our discussions have recently evolved around the unfulfilled desires of our past. 

We are still the most trusted friends that each of us have ever had. 

When our problem solving turned to the sexuality that we each crave now, I confessed that what we had wasn't what I truelly needed. 

She informed me that she has expanded her interest in in the kinkier side of life. 

Now we exchange ideas, what's the reaction to what we are thinking of.