What is a Dominant?
News flash being bossy doesnt make a Dom!!!!!!
If you ask people that question you will get a range of answers.
For the purposes of this blog my use of Dom also includes all our Dommes out there.
First let me tell you tell you about myself. I have known i am a Alpha male from a very early age. I have had 2 TPE 24/7 relationships. One of 3 yrs and my last which was 10 yrs. That being said I would like to share some of my experiences with the BDSM Iifestyle by way of this blog.
So here it goes. First I would like to address my definition of a Dominant as it pertains to BDSM. A Dominant/submissive relationship, I think Alpha/submissive would be a more appropriate description, is like a beautiful dance. The Dominant is the person the submissive surrenders control too for a specified length of time depending on the dynamics of the relationship. However the basics are the same wether you just meet up for play dates or live together 24/7. A Dominant is a teacher, a director, a nurturing soul, and a disciplinarian. They know how to read people but are not mind readers. They are aware and assume responsibility for their submissive.
Ladies and gentlemen use your tools. Over the years i have experienced lots of things that have since evolved but one tool hasn't and it my most used in my tool box. What is the secret you ask, the holy grail you say. Your submissive should be keeping a daily journal. Yes I said a daily journal. What better way to keep a line of constant communication between Dom/sub no matter the dynamic. Journals help eliminate the stress that can be caused from a sub having to directly talk to their Dom. Doms you get a look into your sub that you will find so valuable. It is mostly unfiltered as long as your sub is upfront and honest. subs out there you need to be. Doms/ we need to be constantly aware of our subs headspace and mindset. If we break our subs down we cant allow them to crash. We are responsible its our job to keep them safe.
Aftercare:
Our responsibility doesnt end with the fun and excitement of the scene folks. Aftercare is another aspect that is important in all aspects of BDSM. The types and modes are as diverse as there are subs. I cant say this enough learn your sub it takes time but its time well spent. Its been my experience that taking your time to get to know each other makes your experince that more fulfilling. Slow down there is no time line but jumping into a PPE/TPE relationship is irresponsible to say the least, know matter the protocol, in my humble opinion.
Last point for this blog is types of Doms. I personally have tendencies of all types. I dont do cookie cutter BDSM nor do i limit my sub in such a way. Why does everyone have to have a specific lable? Why cant we just be who we are and be ok with it. Well i am its how I roll.
Thanks for reading if you made it to this point.