LaLeigh(sub female){Owned}
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5 years ago •
Dec 14, 2018
Connection
First Post. First everything. We have been married for nearly 25 years, together for 27. We have been “playing” in this lifestyle for most of our marriage. Please don’t take offense at the term. It is obvious to me that there are many people who take their names, lifestyle and classifications’ seriously. We are coming from a place of slow growth and evolution. I am not sure where we fall in the complex classification system but feel the need to lead with my resume of who we think we are, to avoid the backlash of strangers telling me who they think we are ?
I am submissive, not a doormat. I am capable, smart and have run a small business for ten years. My husband is a fantastic human being, dominant, but not quite ready take the title Dominant. He is the leader of my heart and the leader of our home. Both of us feel strongly that a Dominant title is earned, and he does not feel like he is there in his journey. So, with that introduction, he asked me to journal on the following topic: (I am not quite ready to set up a blog, so I am putting this idea of connection here) Connection. What our play does to help us connect and communicate. How does the connection free you to explore your need for submission and the safety to discuss kink? (Aside -struggling with the submissive need – still in the “What’s wrong with me?” phase – he is helping me) My response: Connection means that I trust you and trust is the complete foundation of our play. Because I trust you, I am free to explore my need for submission and it creates a sense of safety in our discussions. We discuss so many types of relationships in our lives – normal, healthy “vanilla world” relationships. So much of where things go wrong is when trust is broken somehow. It does not matter if its purposeful or accidental – perception is everything. Trust takes care and consideration and must be a two-way street or the relationship won’t work. So even if things are fractured between us at times, at the end of the day, I trust your motives. I trust that you love me and would never hurt me purposefully. I think that we are lucky. The trust between us creates an intimate connection that most people strive for at some level. The D/s dynamic, I believe, brings trust to an entirely new level and I am not sure how others “jump into” these types of relationships and how, or if, they can be successful. I am so thankful that we have known each other for as long as we have– that the trust was there BEFORE this element of our life developed. We are giving ourselves access to parts of ourselves that are intensely private, deeply personal and raw. It makes sense that with the increased trust comes a proportional amount of connection. We can talk another day about how we intentionally or unintentionally break trust. I think this is the key to why most relationships fail. Broken trust, broken connection, broken hearts, broken people…~LL So, I am posing the question to the group: How does the D/s dynamic help you connect and communicate? |
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