Am I submissive?

Miki • Dec 21, 2018

I have to say, the worst thing you can do is analyze it to death. Your profile pretty much answers your own question. But more importantly, aside from this thread where you are asking for opinions, you shouldn't let anyone either in here or in a book purported to be written by BDSM "authorities".

Another wrote how they are dominant in most respects of their lives but BDSM as far as I am concerned concerns what is done in private. Including in varying levels depending upon who you ask-- sexual roles.

If you like making your partner do what you want in and around the sack you have a dominant personality and would be a domme. A submissive would enjoy being told what to do, when, how, and for how long.Whips, chains paddles and all that are part of this for some, not others.. For others it's head game of sorts.

I have already rattled on more than I planned but won't truncate it on edit. In short, if someone were asking you the same question and they supplied information such as in your profile, what would you tell him or her?

But in short, if one is constantly asking themselves which side of the fence they're on-- they're overthinking. Just skip the labels for now and do (and have done) what floats your boat the most.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Dec 21, 2018

@Cithaeria


I agree.

On all counts.
I ask the question for 2 reasons.
One- BDSM is built in fantasy for all of us.
No matter how long we have been doing it.


And

Two- it's a great jumping off point.

Especially if someone has no idea where to start with themselves.


I'm not saying that all fantasies need to be done IRT.
I have a ton I would never do.


I am saying - that when starting to explore looking at masturbatory fantasies can help you figure out where to go next.

Cithaeria • Dec 21, 2018

@MB- I agree with you as well. The endorphins released while masturbating to a kinky fantasy are indicative of particular kinks. The fantasy doesn’t have to be lived out to the letter in order to have a great experience IRL.

Real life scenes that are built from an erotic fantasy can be modified to fit a more realistic scenario and be very satisfying.

For example, sex in public can be modified to having sex in a high rise hotel with all the drapes wide open.

Sex in public is great until you are making so much noise that a cop is standing over you with a big grin on his face and a ticket book in his hand. (true story lol).

I was so mortified that he took pity on us and didn’t give us a ticket. He said, “Next time, move further away from the road”!

It’s still a kink, I’m just much more careful now. ?

SnappyJ​(sub female){Collared} • Dec 21, 2018

I stumbled on this article - it makes both vanilla and sub pretty clear.

http://www.kinkweekly.com/article-guest-author/vanilla-genuinely-submissive/

the elf • Dec 21, 2018

SnappyJ, soz but it is exactly that kind of overthinking that Miki was talking about... Lots of words and letters, nothing else..

SnappyJ​(sub female){Collared} • Dec 21, 2018

You, and she, are entitled to your opinions. I found the article enlightening and a good read. Others may too.