An alter ego: fake or reality

An alter ego: fake or reality

Novice​(masochist male) • May 23, 2017

Where does this began? To be honest, I cannot remember. But being online over a number of years I met a lot of people, and many weren’t who they said they were. Is that a problem? Depends, I think. What kind of relation is intended? Roleplay equals Ds? But many are looking for real relations, with real people, with commitment. So there the problem arises, when one is confronted with a fake person, or more friendly, an alter ego, is that a basis for a good online relation?

No, I will not discuss the topic of online relation itself! Maybe someone to write about that?

So, suppose you meet someone online, telling you one thing. And then I am not talking about the ones that tell slave/ master has sadly passed away. Or grew up without parents and was being kidnapped. Such stories are untrue and completely bullocks. No, I am talking about interaction with sexually explicit language, aggressive language, that suits both parties. Communication that moves on towards suggestions, instructions (like edging, fucking the cunt with a dildo, nipple torture, etc.). It is all very exciting, and one starts to get real feelings for “the other end”. Is that possible, can you be in love with your online partner that is probably (?) not the person you think it is. There is this wonderful MTV program, Catfish, and you will be amazed to see what people accept of the online partner. They look like super models, they love you 4ever, want to marry, etc. Those people have mistaken online fun for real life. Can you blame them? No, I don’t think so, I have been close to the edge as well. I may have fallen over it even, but kept my sanity. And it has made me wonder. Why am I always such a considerate person? Why can’t I be like all the others? A little less moral high ground, a bit more fun oriented.

To complete my story, I have crossed the line at several points. And it was great fun. And later on I have informed them of my misbehaviour. Some were angry, others understanding. It seems we all have different criterion. I never used anyone, in a bad way, I never asked for money, I never send fake pictures. And most of all, I always gave what the other wanted. I am a switch after all. I give pleasure, always. And my considerations are honest.

What do you think?

Kinkylocs​(switch female){Who cares} • May 23, 2017

Ooooh man, Catfish is definitely a guilty pleasure of mine

I won't say that things CAN'T work out if the relationship starts based on manipulation (maybe a harsh word, but I feel it fits), but it would seem that there would naturally be a bit of dis-trust, which isn't the best foundation for any relationship (cliche but so true). Many people lie because they feel they aren't good enough as is (usually based on their appearance or sexual identity) and are afraid of more rejection, and so you can't really fault them for pretending. In this case, I would say it's possible to have a meaningful and trusting relationship, but (just talking from my own experience) lying can easily become a habit when we're afraid of an outcome we don't want/like. The person who was lying would probably need more reassurance that they're accepted fully the way they are, and the person who was being lied to would also likely need some reassurance that they aren't still being lied to.

Don't fault yourself for having personal morals and standards that take into consideration how your actions could actually affect another human being; it's easy to be an asshole, it's not always easy to be kind. (But I understand that pondering)

Would I be upset if I found this mythical version of the perfect Dom online and then come to find out it was all too good to be true? Like you alluded to, it really depends on where I am in my life. If I was already in a happy relationship, or at least in a happy relationship with myself, perhaps that loss wouldn't be so bad. if I had never had any true relationships in my life and then suddenly my dream was ripped away from me? For some people, it may be too much to bear. But at the same time, even with things like emotional pain, such interactions can be very eye opening.

Honesty is the best policy in my opinion (why not just be like, "hey, this may not 100% represent who I am, but it does represent part of me, and I'd like to invoke that part of myself for our mutual benefit if you'd like to come on that ride with me"), but I can also understand why some would feel that honesty isn't even an option (fear). I remember being a 12 year old girl cat-fishing older men (saying I was older) in chat rooms just because I was horny but didn't know what to do with myself (wasn't much useful sex-ed in or out of the home).

Take from all that what you will lol

Rod​(dom male) • May 24, 2017

Having been on the receiving end of an extremely clever cat fish I have to say that on balance I find the practice dubious at best.
In the instance I refer to the perpetrator used a very elaborate set up including a set of original photos (sneaky spy photos of a coworker) taken specifically to aid the ruse. The experience turned me off online activities for several years but later I just kind of racked it up to experience and got back into online wiser and a lot more skeptical.
And its this wariness that is the problem, I am certainly not alone and I suspect an awful lot of the unreasonable sounding personal ads that demand photo proof, etc are symptoms of this activity. It has created a very large perception of mistrust in online relationships.

Now in the context of roleplay sure, pretend to be that 21 year old lesbian slave (ever noticed just how many of those there are?) willing to do anything with no limits (notice how that is common too?) because of course you aren't real so you aren't actually going to cut your nipples off just because I say so.
As long as those words "role play" are included up front so no one is deceived into something then its all ok.

Novice​(masochist male) • May 24, 2017

it is hard not to start some kind of defence, as if I need that. I don't, because I am no catfish. I am a writer, I take angles, give views, ask for opinion, I play with my thoughts and challenge others

I fully agree, anyone trying to make a relation based on false identity, pics, etc, lets castrate them (if it is a boy, will think of something else for girls later). No, my point is online you create a world of illusion, and to what level do you allow that to be. Both sides. Being online stands for sharing anonymous thoughts and ideas, sure you can ask for pictures. But suppose you live what the other end is doing to you? Like making you hot and horny, and telling you to masturbate in a kinky way. And you love being guided like that? And there is no demand for privacy compromising activities, It is all just great fun, and giving you what you need.

Just a provocative thought.

Rod​(dom male) • May 24, 2017

Hey look as I said I can see how in the area of role play it can likely be a very powerful and interesting way to interact.
My point is that because so often this isn't spelled out a murky aura of suspicion clouds the start of pretty much every online encounter and that this has lead to a lot of the cynical and suspicious behavior so many complain about.
I guess my objection here is if the serial cat fishers (?) simply enjoy the anonymous interaction why the need to trick unsuspecting newbies into a false believe? If it stands on its own why not simply stay in role play rooms? Could it be that tricking unsuspecting folk holds a challenge that can't be met when both sides are know to be only playing a role?

littleone64​(sub female){owned} • May 29, 2017

Well, If You REALLY want to know who you are talking to ask for their facebook acct and do a live chat, they cant deny that. But then again,, I'm still trying to grasp this idea of catfishing, because I'm so honest, as my mentor, ( of my Spiritualisms ) says,,, I am to honest and too trusting. Yikes!! So Are you 2 Sirs saying that catfishing is happening on this site?? Even I would not be that naïve to believe everything someone says. Remember the old adage...if it sounds to good to be true......
And isn't it called roleplaying for reason?? Because each person is donning a persona to please not only the other person, but to explore new and exciting limits for themselves?
Also, if the site has known serial catfishers that prey on newbies, either have the moderators boot them off the site or blog, post, fb,,, whatever u have to do, to get their name out there to warn ppl about them, to stop it.
Its so sad when a few mean, sick ppl ruin it for everyone else
Or am I, in my newness, not getting it?? I am open to thoughts, suggestions and help!! ty!

Novice​(masochist male) • May 29, 2017

my post was not about wanting to catch a catfish, or finding one. I am not a catfish, I am protecting my privacy, like many

No, my point is that there can be an interesting thin line, between role play, where the other party starts to believe what is actually happening. And yes, that can be a bit naive (( have been fooled many times myself). But if that doesnt lead to mis-use, abuse, just to excitement and development,. Is that a bad thing then?

we are all free to ask as you suggest, we can all stop, when we want. So no pressure, no blackmail.

I think

littleone64​(sub female){owned} • May 29, 2017

well, as I said before, IF it is clearly stated that this is roleplay...then whats the harm???
sorry I got confused on the catfishing thing.

So lets say you and I go into a chat room and decide we want to play. we should then decide a scene decide the roles and then make sure the doors are locked and hve a ball...lOL
So where in that scenario, would someone be naïve enough to think hat either I lied or you did. We both went into the private chat room, knowing we were going to create a fantasy for the explicit reason of giving ourselves and each other pleasure. No deception there.

Novice​(masochist male) • May 29, 2017

there is an alternative, a bit more exciting

yes we meet online (not in a chat room)

we accept to exchange intimate details, a kind of roleplay is emerging

no one asks for the obvious (like send me pics, lets chat on cam, etc)

so we all accept this mist hanging over an online relation?

no need for me to feel guilty?

or do I have to blow it all?

Rod​(dom male) • May 29, 2017

Right and thats all fine for the more experienced in the community, we know the signs to look out for.
Where it does get a lot more dubious is when someone new simply accepts the presented scenario/persona as real and proceeds based on that. The is the real potential for them to fall a long way down the rabbit hole...