Love maybe?

Love maybe?

lilmeme​(sub female){Not collar} • May 20, 2019

I wrote this and it helped me understand what I've been trying to say when asked "How can you let him have another women?". Anyone can comment. Someone else may see it differently than I do and I'm ok with that also. I like getting veiw points and processing them.

It seems to me that if your heart belongs to another that doesn't want it then they didnt earn the loyalty that comes with two people being in love. I think people don't know what true love really is. To me in any relationship love can exists, what makes one love another is constantly earned. Sometimes when you love someone you have to let them go out into the world and find what makes them happy. I find that even though I don't like the thought of my husband having sex with other girls but i do find when he tells me how he took her it's very arousing to me. I know I can't be the prey he needs, because I can't be disrespectful to him. He can't be the beast to me he enjoys. We let each other have what the other needs/wants to make each other happy, because the other person's happiness matters more than our own.

MasterBear​(other butch) • May 20, 2019

"Let him have another woman."

Huh...

I would say this.

That is a long, indepth, and mulitlayered, mulit day conversation including:

Compersion, trust, personal sexual fulfillment, boundaries, compersion, time management, compersion, sexual and emotional availability /boundaries, and hard work.


By the 3rd time I say compersion they usually stop listening to me.

AKittenforSir​(sub female){JohnBond} • May 20, 2019

Interesting. I’m always curious to learn about other dynamics and even more curious to learn the “why” behind the dynamic.

When you say, “I know I can't be the prey he needs, because I can't be disrespectful to him” what exactly does that mean? You can’t be disrespectful because it’s not in your nature or because it’s not a part of your dynamic that is allowed?

“We let each other have what the other needs/wants to make each other happy” Does this include other sexual partners for you?

And this line of thinking makes me wonder too: Do you ever share partners?

Was your relationship sexually open before you married or is that something you came to after?

Sorry for the questions, I’m just generally curious and grateful that someone is opening up about a topic that so many are sensitive about.

lilmeme​(sub female){Not collar} • May 21, 2019

We have been married for 19 years. Our dynamic was already formed before we even knew it. He isn't able to take me the same way as he can others. He has always babied and protected me. To leave a bruise on me even accidentally males him feel way to low, and in turn makes me sad. To be that physical with me he can't. I can't be his pray meaning I can't resist him and to tell him no isn't allowed. We opened our marriage up a couple of years ago. We know that unless you know about something you don't know to experience it. There is so many different kinks, fetishes, feels, emotions, ect that we didnt know exites in the world why not experience them? If it's something either of us didn't want to do then why would I want to deny my partner ? We share partners but not sexually he tells them what I like and I tell them what he likes. We talk about what we liked what we didn't like. We check on the others partner offer suggestions. If need be my husband is the touchy feely type, so if his partner needs someone to hold her after or talk to I do that part. I think a person's limits depends on the person. In our dynamic we try to be the other half of each other. What the other needs and or wants. If we are unable to do so ourself then we figure out a way to let them have it

AKittenforSir​(sub female){JohnBond} • May 21, 2019

Thanks for taking the time to respond. I have a clearer picture now of what your dynamic looks like. I’m very happy for you both that you’ve found a happy solution to meet both of your needs. It takes a certain mindset and self confidence and security in your relationship to be able to sustain that dynamic. So I’m very impressed.

I could never find that within myself. Frankly I don’t want to. It’s just not something I could sustain and be mentally or emotionally sound. Especially offering aftercare to his play partners.... the only aftercare I’d give to my Sir’s sexual partners is a punch to the face.