I really by accident met a dominant female who I like. I was beginning to think they didn't exist. Everything she says is more than what I wanted or needed to hear. And I am completely captivated after a few good talks. She Is into same things I am. Only I am absolutely new when it comes to actual experience while she has a lot. But this is something I've wanted for SO long. It's a bit scary throwing yourself at another's mercy let alone doing so during real BDSM and heavy bondage and testing limits. And this is going to have to be kept completely separate from my long time GF and regular life. All parties understand and that's not an issue, though I worry I may feel guilty despite the fact its what I want. And I am going to do this. I cant just chicken out. Anybody been in my place before? Or have any good advice?
I'd love to hear 'just quit whining, get tied up and live an actual fantasy experience most don't get the chance to, stupid!' from someone who has had this happen. But I really just need the truth. ?
Giving up control to another is also doing what they want even if you're not keen. (Fetching stuff when your tired and being gracious) It isn't all feeling the Mariad of sensations in playtime, it is power based devotion to Her. And for her as your Dominant She is in charge. Which means mutual discussion, where she makes the final decision.
It takes Bravery to give up control and tuck in your male entitlement. Talk together alot.
Only you know the truth. A good rule of thumb is if it sounds to good to be true it probably is. If you are talking to someone on here or from another site and they live across the country the chances are slim that you two will meet. I'm not saying it can't happen, but it is hard to put down a life is one city and start a new one somewhere else. I suggest a lot of meetings before you or her move to each other.
After reading this again. I am fully against cheating. If you can't tell your girlfriend about what you are doing you probably shouldn't be doing it. (if you have a don't ask don't tell policy that is a different story), but why lead your girlfriend along when its not who or what you want.