This is all pretty new to me so just wanting some advice as I really want to please my boyfriend by being dominant as this is what he wants but it feels awkward to me. We gave it a good go last night but I felt like the mood was hot then cold throughout which I struggled with as usually we are just dirty naturally. I would normally get rougher as I see him getting filthier but from talking recently I now know he wants the rough and dirty more. He wants me to do what I want, when I want it. He want me to take charge and treat him like a dirty whore.
I have no problem being dominant but it usually just happens during a session that gets dirtier naturally as we get really turned on by each other and things get rougher, dirtier and harder. Last night we tried new things that I wanted to do to him as he has told me he wants me to do anything I want to him and introduce a bit more pain to things as he likes to be tied down a spanked/whipped. He has recently told me how he want me to be his "daddy" and he wants daddy to do whatever I want and use him like a slutty whore boy which got me very hot.
So we tried just focusing on the dom/sub roles from the get go for the first time. I invested in some new bits for us to use (Over door restraints, crop, flogger, spreader bar restraint, bondage tape, butt plug, dildo, pvc sheet, c*ck rings, leather boots, leather chest harness and collar with nipple clams)
We started by putting on some gay BDSM porn, smoking some weed whilst watching each other stroke ourselves and worshiping each other, he got really turned on by me laying there in my boots, harness and collar with my c*ck ring on. He played with my extremely hard c*ck whilst nibbling on my legs, stomach chest and nipples , licking around my pubes, hairy balls and armpits as he loves me being hairy all over.
It was very hot and we were both very excited. I love watching him doing what he wants to me, I just lay back and let him get himself into a filthy mood. I then asked him to perform for me on the bed whilst I sat on a chair watching him stroke himself and work his hole whilst I sat stroking myself in leather boots, cock ring, harness and collar whilst fingering my hole. Then I got him to bend over and show me his hole, I rimmed him, fingered him and worked my hand in then gave him a taster of my c*ck in him before using a dildo on him.
I then tied him to the door using the door restraints and bar spreader on his legs, he faced the door and I made him ride a couple of my fingers whilst I licked and nibbled his face pulling his hair to bring his head back to me so I could breath heavy and groan in his ear. I then stood back and used the crop and flogger on him moved to his side so he could see me handling my hard c*ck whilst using the flogger over his back, arse and legs then released him from the restraints, took him to the bathroom and pissed all over him, I told him to do what he wanted whilst i showered him. It was very hot watching him like this but it killed the mood when we showered down after (I kept my boots on and realised they filled with piss and water so took awhile to get them off :-\ which was pretty amusing but the mood died) He got cold after so we took a break. Sat on the bed with the porn still playing and smoked some weed whilst talking about how dirty we were.
I then started to feel a little awkward getting things going again, it wasn't that I wasn't enjoying myself but it felt a bit too unnatural as I was thinking of all the things I wanted to still do to him (I guess I was trying too hard with my planning being the first time we tried all of this). I like to just naturally go into the next position etc during the heat of our session.
I made him suck my c*ck and forced it down his throat, made him lick and suck on my balls and bite my arse then I bent him over and spanked him whilst playing in his hole with my fingers, stretched him open and f*cked him with my fist. I stuck my face in there and f*cked him with my tongue. Still not quite feeling like the mood was back to where we usually are I made him sit on the floor where the pvc sheet was and pissed all over him then f*cked him in puddles of my piss before pulling out and unloading all over his face whilst he shot his load over my boots.
It was a pretty good night but I felt awkward at times, did I do enough to give him what he wanted?, was he really enjoying it?, did he feel used? Throughout I felt lost with what to do and when to do it. I keep thinking to myself how much is he enjoying it or was he comfortable, was I doing it how he wanted. There was pressure and I don't remember a time when I have felt like this during sex which was a shame and it made things feel odd. I hope that by continuing this will become easier to just roll from one thing to another but I do worry that it wasn't as smooth as we need it to be.
He seemed happy with it all after and said he had a good time but I know it could of been better and I don't like feeling that it wasn't mind blowing for him as I am used to him falling down sweating and breathless after a hard f*ck.
Is this a normal thing for your first time? Did I try and plan too much? How can it become a smooth seamless f*ck fest without too much downtime? How can I ensure I keep the dominance there throughout and ensure he feels like daddies toy. I guess I get a bit lost trying so hard.
Thank you for taking the time to have a read of my worries.
Well, for your first time I'd say you did pretty damn good!!
I'm sure you can plan too much, not leaving room for the natural transitions you reference, but the fact that you actually did plan as oppossed to just thinking it would be easy and you could just wing it (and likely fall flat on your face) , shows that you're you at least care, and with practice it'll only get better ?
If you're concerned about not fulfilling his needs, or wanting to know what he did or didn't like... Why not ask? Hubby and I love to talk after about what did and didn't work for both of us, and it's actually pretty common to do so.
May not be the most helpful, but I think you're doing great! Sounds like you're a natural Dom ?