Wgen did you first know you were into something different?

DisobedientSlaveGirl​(sub female) • Sep 22, 2019

I started watching hentai and I saw the guys like tying up the girl and spanking her et cetera et cetera. So I ended up trying it on myself and I realized that I liked that kind of stuff then a few years later I found out that my interest was actually a thing and not just a weird fetish that I had and that it was called BDSM. I realized then that I wanted a Daddy/Dom and that I am a Submissive girl.
That's how it all started.

UndiefetishDaddy​(dom male) • Sep 24, 2019

I had to really piece it together for myself. It took until just the last year or two for me to really start connecting the dots between bdsm and my personal preferences, and to realize an identity within the community. Before that I thought I was simply a stray societal deviant with no place. I've enjoyed underwear/tights frotting since I was a child, and my Daddy and Master roles developed more substantially but still subconsciously in my earlier twenties.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Sep 24, 2019

My first kiss was me holding down a girl.

I was in grade school.

Root anyone ?

No Body​(dom male) • Sep 24, 2019

Thinking back about when I was a freshman in highschool I remember reading the Gor books. It was much later that I understood what was going on. So to get to the point ... when I see a woman in hooped earrings a fire runs through my blood.

I knew I was a fetish freak when...

pefrizz45 • Sep 24, 2019

I knew I was into something different when a strip club dancer started mentoring me, after my first dance with her, in the strip club where we met. It was my first time in a strip club-ever-but by no means my last-15 years later-when, after she told me (3 weeks after we met) that I was an undeveloped Dom; that I should use our time together to learn what my preferences were (as a Dom). This dancer proved to be an outstanding switch and she helped me realize (later, in hindsight) that I was a fetish Dom, who absolutely lusted after watching a women’s earlobes wiggle from behind, from a repeat under bite, combined with car trouble and damsel in distress; some women (and men) will admit to pedal pumping, as well, which is accurate. The harder (wilder) a woman hops up and down, with pedal pumping, like a monkey fucking a football, with me watching her earlobes wiggle from behind, in the backseat of the driver’s side, the more I ecstatically enjoy the fetish, emphatically! It took me 5 years, after outing myself that I was a Dom, and accepting that I was a Dom, to getting used to being a Dom, to liking being a Dom, to liking being a fetish Dom. I want to emphasize that the outing process is where I matured significantly, as a fetish Dom; it was crucial to my understanding of being a Dom. I don’t know where I’d be, as a fetish Dom, without the outing process. Still suffering from manic low self esteem problems? since I suffered from manic low self esteem problems, for 20 years, yet BDSM saved me as a coping skill?!

No Body​(dom male) • Sep 24, 2019

I love nibbling on her ears and sucking on her lobes but for me ..... well I love watching her walk away.

pefrizz45 • Sep 24, 2019

I’ll have to advertise for a Sub female who is willing to specifically satisfy my fetish for her earlobes....otherwise nothing else in BDSM will work properly, for me👍

No Body​(dom male) • Sep 26, 2019

I saw in a local paper once guy wanted a large woman to just screw her between her cheeks. It was how he got off. Not anal just the cheeks and the bigger the better.

Learn self, explore others

ImperialThrone​(dom male) • Sep 30, 2019

I came to the understanding in my relationships, I like controlling the rhythm of my partner's orgasms. To tease until they let go of self, to only grant release when they yield and beg. Not to harm, but torture with endless waves of varying focus. Internal and external stimuli, while never truly allowing them to feel bliss. Only when the pleaded for release, would I grant her, that which her body longed for. Though i would like to experiment with light pain play, pleasure deprivation and control techniques are more my style. It wasn't about controlling her words or making her yield. The idea that you could leave a woman twitching and asleep with well-earned bliss, that was more of a high than I could have imagined. Her begging with the word master without being instructed, it was gratifying. I would look forward to mentoring for all aspects of understanding what domination and being a master entails.

SSG{ENM-TLP} • Sep 30, 2019

Looking back on my life, I would say my experience began at 15. My first boyfriend was extremely dominant. He was very protective and into my pleasure. Pleasing him was VERY important to me. We were together for six years. He was my first for everything. We knew nothing of BDSM. We just fully enjoyed one another, and I was submissive to him naturally.

My next relationship where D/s was present, but not recognized was with a lover. He and I saw each other on and off for 15 years. He was Dominant, and I was literally putty in his hands to be molded. He still doesn't recognize himself as a Dominant. During this time frame, I did learn of BDSM through an online community much like this one but old time forum type. I met a Dom who was committed to a sub in a monogamous relationship. I was very drawn to the dynamic (even though I am poly). It is really the only dynamic I feel I could be monogamous in because I feel that all of my needs are attended to by my Dominant (when in real life especially).

Fast forward through 2 marriages (currently in #2 and poly), and as soon as we became poly I sought a D/s relationship. IMMEDIATELY. I craved it. Needed it. Never realized just how much I needed it until living 18 years without it. I am continuing to grow and develop within the dynamic, and I am very happy to learn so much. I am grateful to all who have contributed to my growth here in this community.