Getting a start as a switch.

SanE​(sub male) • Jul 12, 2017

I have a love/hate relationship with labels, they can help you define you and at the same time constrain you. Even though I identify primarily as a submissive, the more I explore I have begun to realize that my sexual identity is more eclectic than just submissive. Still, submissive is the label I am more comfortable with. Having said that, I am always upfront with interested parties about my proclivities. Some people are game and others not so much.

In my experience, what has worked so far for me is to develop the relationship organically, I let it grow at its own pace while steering it to where I am more comfortable with. It really depends on the energy and chemistry of the moment.

Something worth considering it's that all labels have baggage and stereotypes in some form or another. Labels are just the starting point, it's the individual's job to unpack what that label means for them. Instead of depending on the label, maybe it would help if you put more emphasis on describing your wants, needs and expectations.

sweatsoxjock​(switch male) • Aug 4, 2017

For me, I began playing with myself very early in life and always had a wicked, kinky outlook on sex. I had a couple friends that would mess around with me but I always wanted to do things that either scared them or made them nervous. Because of this, I was forced to do try my ideas on myself. I never thought of myself as submissive until very recently and I have been praised for my skills as a dominant top. I will always be more dominant (it's just my personality) but I feel foolish that I've probably missed out on a lot of fun by being so one-sided in my thinking.

As a Dominant Master, I have always had great respect for people who were willing to turn themselves over to me totally. I think it takes a very strong person to do that. One role is not better than the other. It's what you are drawn to and where you derive pleasure from that guides your role. I would actually love to meet another switch because then we could reverse roles and not have to seek out a Dom one day and a Sub the next.

Monayah​(switch female) • Aug 14, 2017

I'm a new switch and all this info is very helpfull~

Faerietattoo​(switch female){None} • Aug 14, 2017

This is a good post, and lots of good comments. For me personally it depends on my energy levels and those of my playmate. My ex-husband liked to be dominated, my current playmate is more capable of dominating and so I am exploring my sub side. Its certainly a refreshing change.
I'm not going out to the munches in my area at present, I have a few issues but the one I did attend was highly entertaining on so many levels. Maybe you could make a friend in here to chat to about your anxieties, once shared the problem becomes easier to deal with and you could be one step closer to freedom. Good luck xx

SkinTightLatex​(switch gender fluid) • Sep 22, 2017

Social anxieties can be powerful and can ultimately prevent individuals from being able to self actualize their wants needs and desires. Its ok for you to be you and one of the most wonderful things I believe the BDSM/Kink communities have to offer is openness and acceptance. I know it is more often easier said then done but try to remember that you are in good company and that we each get only this one life don't waste it on fear. Know your true self and when you reflect that you will be embraced by all those you interact with...

Adam SIN • Dec 10, 2017

I have a few questions about the subject of someone being a switch.
First how,why and what could be the cause of a person becoming a switch?And could someone having a form of split personality disorder possibly have an influence and or effect the person to be a switch?

Xanders_raven​(switch male){Yes} • Dec 11, 2017

This post is a bit old but I wanted to weigh in briefly. I started in the lifestyle as a 24/7 sub/slave. I was in that relationship for 4 years. After it ended I went back to 99 percent vanilla for about 10 years. And then I met an incredible man who was new to the whole scene but intensely curious and dediated. So we agreed to switch - I think the experience has made me a better sub - I certainly have more insight into the amount of work there is in being a Dom!! Yes I think switches get unfairly judged sometimes. If you didn’t know my back story and I told you I was a switch some people would dismiss me out of hand. But the most important thing is YOUR happiness. So keep talking to people, keep learning and enjoy the journey. Feel free to contact us with questions, etc.