My first online bdsm experience

My first online bdsm experience

Treasure • Sep 30, 2017

Here's. My situation. About four months ago i met online a very charasmatic man who labeled himself a Dom. Me being new to Bdsm and a whole lot of naieve believed him to be all he made himself out to be. Oh he was amazing he fulfilled my every desire mentally and I thought emotionally. And soon to come, physically. Boy was I wrong. He was so very good at saying sweet words, telling me how beautiful and sexy I was . How lucky he was to have found me. This individual was a Master manipulator. So for a while we continued to chat via the cage and Hangouts. Never on the phone unless through Hangouts. Never during day hours, never on the weekends. Always at work where he worked over nights. I tried questioning him about this many times, even though he said he was divorced, had been for years, something was not right. He became angry with me every time I asked why he would never call, he had my mobile. Why the secrets. His answer was he didn't have to give me an answer. I wanted to know why. His response was that there is no why, it is what it is. This broke my heart. I knew that there's more to this then he's letting on. So i snooped. Found out the man was married, wife and he were separated, he'd apparently done this before to her. Before I found her though he made up some elaborate scheme about him being ex military, another lie, but anyways he accepted a contract to do some work out of country for 8 months. He'd be back, we'd see one another then.... He disappeared for weeks. I'm now pretty positive that he meant to permanently erase himself from my life. The meeting the things we talked of, the desires we dreamt of fulfilling etc was never real on his behalf. He was fictional, the man I cared for was fictional. His beautiful wife and I found one another, we have been chatting daily, getting answers to questions that he would not provide.This has helped us immensely and we have become good friends. The man was a phony in every sense. A narcissistic sociopath. If that makes sense. So every photo, video and conversation we had, i passed on to his soon to be ex wife. At her request. He doesn't know me, denies my existence. Lol silly shit. The best thing out of this whole mess was the friend I gained in his ex wife. Though part of me feels like damage d goods in all of this. I'm struggling daily. I find myself crying for the loss of a man I cared deeply for.....but he wasn't real. One moment I'm strong and confident. I'm mad and thankful the next my heart hurts, I wonder about the what ifs or the could have beens. And then here comes my dear friend, always checking on me. Always a phone call away. We chat for hours, we build one another back up if the other starts to crumble. There are fakes out here. Just as in every day life. Heartless cruel fakes who are oblivious to anyone's needs and feelings but they're own. I guess I'm passing on my experience because I want people to be careful , be extremely selective, educate yourself, take your time in selecting a Dom , Sir top, master , sub , bottom, slave. Whatever you call them. If this lifestyle has true meaning to you and not a game. Take it seriously, your needs as well as your partners. The experience can be beautiful and true with a deep devoted sensual connection between partners if your true to yourself and to one another....as for my fictional love....I guess time will heal. I also want to thank those who have helped me with this lately, thank you my friends. They know who they are xxx

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Oct 1, 2017

When I have a connection with a Sub, I am always straight forward. Nothing to hide, and you proved that at long term things hidden would come out. I rather being truthful form the beginning, it if works between it bond trust faster, it she doesnt like my status, she still stay in touch for a chat until she find a new dom to talk to.

frist red flag not available at week end. Every single bloke are free on the week end?? You should have question that one.
You said something was not right, and you should have follow your guts...
hope the next one will be better...

Don_Braum​(sub male){No} • Oct 11, 2017

I think female subs should be very cautious. I have no proof to offer but I've seen things that make me believe that a lot of men have caught on to the fact that being DOM is a good way to score. In the short amount of time I've spent in the lobby chat room I've watched 2 or it may be 3 women complaining about the last DOM who wasn't a real DOM. I feel a natural draw to being sub, but that is a very lonely place to be. In my frustration I've wondered if I wouldn't have a happier life if I DOM. Only briefly though, as I despise dishonesty.

Rite of passage

TheEdge​(other male) • Oct 11, 2017

Sometimes life teaches us valuable lessons that we could have not understand unless we experience it in person.sure we might end up heart broken but I feel like the things you learn are well worth it. I have had been with a few people like that and everytime I thought they were legit and everytime I ended up disappointed and heartbroken.
I’m glad you can see the glass half full and now you have a new friend. One door closes and another one opens.

MagikStyx​(dom male) • Oct 28, 2017

STRAIGHT FORWARD

Its terrible to hear what you went through. I'm honest

I like meeting in person if possible. We should meet and greet before anything goes any further behind any door. Most are shocked that I'm straight forward but if you and I have an interest in bdsm and were gonna play, Then it would be nice to know alittle about you and me right?

domjay37​(dom male) • Oct 29, 2017

i dont know people try to hide stuff at all bc one way or another it always comes out to bite that person in the ass so i feel you have to shoot straight and see if ur a match if u get the feeling something is off best thing to do is run even if ur wrong better to be safe then sorry