will i ever find the one?

will i ever find the one?

mercurybaby​(sub female) • Dec 26, 2019

sometimes i feel like im never gonna find the one person that makes my heart and other things tingly. the people im around aren’t attractived to me due to my size or just come off creepy. im feeling hopeless or maybe its just the seasonal depression. if you have any advice pls share.

LaVieEnRose​(sub female){Kintsugi} • Dec 26, 2019

Awww hun

It’s definitely not easy being a bigger girl (I know that well), but there is someone out there who will love every inch of you for you! They may not come exactly when you expect them to but they are out there, just keep up hope and surround yourself with good people!

Xx

Miki​(masochist female) • Dec 26, 2019

Sounds like seasonal depression mixed with the all-too-common fact that finding "the perfect one"-- or as close to that as any human can get-- is elusive at best. You never know when they'll turn up, and sometimes one wouldn't know "Mr. / Ms Right" if they jumped up and bit them on the nose, so to speak-- because many people are mired into the concept that "The First Impression Is A Lasting Impression" and/ or "You never get a second chance at a first impression."

All the while the fact goes ignored, the "first impression" is quite often the least accurate. Al one sees is the superficial.. and in some cases the act of being "all that" Only with time can one discover the true nature of people. There's that suave , silver-tongued would-be prince .. or magazine-cover perfect doll-face, but in time one sees the more human, even nasty side. Similarly, someone who might come off at first as being "sloppy" or "unrefined"-- may be that diamond in the rough.

The old saying "They'll show up when you least expect it." is a cliche most of the time, but rooted in fact. When not looking, a person is their true self while "when looking" one often gives off an air of the contrived.

Just relax, take your time and keep an open mind. The First Impression" is a guideline at best, depending on the "first impression".. as in if someone smells like dirty socks, well that one is a no-brainer.

Take it from there. Let your intuition be your guide.

Bianca15​(switch female) • Dec 26, 2019

In addition to what was said above, your profile says you're 19. I don't want this to come off rudely, I truly don't mean it that way, and I actually remember being your age and thinking the same way. I promise, in a few years, it may be a couple, it may be more, you'll feel it. I don't want to go into a lot of detail, but I didn't until way later than everyone else I knew. I didn't even know that I COULD feel that way (to that extreme anyway), until I did. I actually remember thinking with my first couple of boyfriends "What if this is all it's supposed to be? What if this is what everyone calls love?" It was actually really depressing. But it DOES get so much better. You're very young. It'll come.

Erick​(sub male) • Dec 26, 2019

Hey, Nineteen (famous Steely Dan song from thirty years ago)--

I guarantee you will find the one. But of course it's difficult to believe that right at this moment, because adolescence is hell, and adolescents really are creeps. Mostly. You're not imagining things.

However, you are now on the cusp of breaking out of adolescence into the world of adults, who really are an entirely different species of people. It's like night and day.

And the fact that you are plus-size is not a problem. Remember Johnny Sack, the murderous New York crime boss in "The Sopranos" who was ready to kill anybody who disrespected his beloved wife Ginny, whom he dotingly called "Rubenesque." Your shape turns a lot of guys on. (I'm not a crime boss, but Rubenesque ladies turn ME on.)

I'm decidedly submissive now, but some years ago I was ambivalent, and in those days would have loved to be your Daddy, cruel or rough or sweet or gentle, or any way you like it.

Anyway, you'll get plenty of offers, and in the foreseeable future too. For right now, just try to get through the holidays, which are a lot like adolescence. They're both hellish experiences.

Cheers!

Allie Kat​(sub trans woman){DarkFox} • Dec 26, 2019

Personally, i don't subscribe to the idea that there is a "one" or a "soulmate" for everyone. I believe it is all about timing. They have to be ready when they meet you, and you have to be ready when you meet them.

I also find that if you spend your time becoming the kind of person that your "dream partner" deserves, the time goes by much quicker. Unless of course you think that you are already 100% complete.

Then i find that keeping an open mind and heart helps to make sure you meet the person who is in the right place! I see so often people turn up their nose at people or sit quietly and unnotoced in the corner and then cry out "why can't i find anyone?!"

Basically, the moral is, keep an open mind and open heart and take an active role in finding someone. That's the only way you will ever find someone worth working on a lasting relationship with.

Lossofalme • Dec 26, 2019

I hope 2020 brings the relationship you're looking for, but the holiday season can be hard... if you think the season is impacting your emotions right now, you're probably right. Give yourself some time to get through the holidays and soak up a little more sunlight as we move into the new year.

Also, while I can confidently say my husband is "the one" for me... that doesn't mean a constant tingle. Or that there aren't other "ones" out there for either of us. He and I have been together a long time, and while there are certainly sexual and emotional tingles on a regular basis, there are also miserable slog days, and days when I really don't like him very much, and days when I'd prefer to just hide under the covers and cry because he isn't "perfect" and it showed. It's not that he isn't "the one", it's that "the one" is a lot more complex than that initial sexual/emotional thrill.

Tingles are important, and I'm not suggestion you downplay your need for that sort of connection, but like others before me have said... keep an open mind and an open heart. You'll find your partner (or maybe partners!) but they may not arrive in your life with an immediate tingle. It may be something closer to a slow burn that grows over time until you just can't imagine your life without it. Even if it isn't exactly what you thought it would be.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Dec 29, 2019

YOUR SIZE IS A PRIZE

Be proud. Stand tall.
Only accept offers from people who love bigger bodies.
If they cant love and appreciate every fold- fuck them.

The more confident you are the more you will attract attention.

Let your light shine.
Get involved in your community.
Volunteer.
Get your face out there!!!!!

Manda Panda​(sub female) • Dec 30, 2019

Mercury, I feel like we could be twins, except I'm not 19 anymore lol Maybe we should start a club
(((Hugs))) Message me if you wanna talk anytime. Finding a Daddy worth his salt is not easy

Ingénue{VK} • Dec 30, 2019

Takes time and patience.
Keep looking and good luck.
Don't settle for less, you'll probably regret it.
Plenty of people adore plus size.
Try not to personalise the difficulty most people encounter when finding a match.
Find people who will support you and be kind on your way there. It can help.