To be or not to be...both slave and little...

To be or not to be...both slave and little...

SheaSubbyButter​(sub female) • Feb 17, 2020

Hey everyone, this is my first post and I will try not to bore or go into a tangent, at least not this time

So my Dom and I have been getting closer and closer with what we want and how we want to live the lifestyle with each other. My Dom has more experience than I do and I am new to everything and I’m still feeling my way around. In the past few months I have discovered my little side and absolutely love my Dom as my Daddy, he loves it too.

But we both still love the M/s dynamic as well and we are trying to find a sweet spot between the two that is harmonious to our cravings, desires and needs. We have been totally transparent with each other about how we feel and what we desire and me being new, my cravings are vast and at times insatiable being that I want to experience and experiment a lot.

However, my Dom wants it to be either or, meaning being a slave or being a little for an extended period of time instead of mixing the two, which I am totally on board with, but I’m thinking it doesn’t have to be an all or nothing instance or does it?

Is it simply about preference and not that it is impossible that the world of slave and little could coexist amazingly together.

Would love to hear anyone’s thoughts, ideas and suggestions.🥰

AKittenforSir​(sub female){JohnBond} • Feb 17, 2020

It most certainly doesn’t have to be black or white. That’s what’s amazing about the kink community. There’s every shade of grey in between and all the colors of the rainbow.

I’ve been in a 24/7 dynamic with my Sir for over a year and it contains bits of M/s, DDlg, sadomasochism, Owner/pet, Service Top/princess, Rigger/rope bunny. We do what feels right for us. There are darker types of play we participate in that some littles would be terrified of, protocols that some princesses would never be able to sustain, but also lots of playfulness and spoiling that many Masters would not be inclined to tolerate. We don’t try to box ourselves into any cookie cutter lifestyle and I dont think anyone should. Even if you did try, it’s all subjective. There’s no grand list of rules and definitions for any specific lifestyle. You and your Dom may refer to yourselves as M/s and still allow you to have stuffies and call him Daddy or whatever floats your boat.

Erick​(sub male) • Feb 17, 2020

In every aspect of life, there are advantages to the linear way of approaching things, and to the free-form way too. Almost like the archetypal differences between masculine and feminine sensibilities.

The advantage of sticking to one scenario is that practice makes perfect, and you both get really good at it.

The advantage of being more willing to magically shift your identities, as in a dream, is that intuition often leads to serendipitous discoveries and surprising emotional connections.

SheaSubbyButter​(sub female) • Feb 17, 2020

Thank you so much for the reply, and I agree that it doesn’t have to cookie cutter or by the book so to speak. When we had our first moment or session which was a first for me, I experienced sub space within 15 minutes of me being completely consumed by his dominance and it was exquisite. However, the subdrop consisted of me shaking and crying and needing and wanting my Daddy. I think it scared my Dom because he was unsure of how to help, but his Daddy side immediately commanded that we cuddle and sleep which was exactly what I needed. I would have continued because I wanted to be even more consumed but he stopped and was able to give me what I, at the time, didn’t know I needed. As I learn more and more about myself in the dynamic I find myself falling more in love with the lifestyle and falling in love with my Dom as well desiring to completely submit in the lifestyle 24/7 which he and I are working towards. I’m hoping that he and I can cultivate and grow in a dynamic that is completely our own just like you and your Sir...thanks again for the replay it is very much appreciated.

SheaSubbyButter​(sub female) • Feb 17, 2020

Thank you so much for your reply, and I think my Dom and I encompass both of the aspects what you shared in your post. My Dom is very organized and strict and enjoys being one way or the other whereas I like to shift my identities, which my Dom says is so amazing about me since he enjoys both sides of me as I enjoy both his Master and Daddy sides, I think it’s just better for him to be one way versus switching back and forth. For me I have a princess side that wants to play and cuddle while my slave and slutty side wants to be slapped and choked and they both play with each other for the spotlight at anytime, reminds me of “Split” by M. Night Shyamalan and that is usually what happens my princess side wanting to be cute and sweet one minute and the next minute I replace my pacifier with my gag and nipple clamps, I just never know whose going to want to come out and play.

I do feel deeper connections when doing both, but in wanting to please my daddy I feel like a “right Twix and left Twix” commercial, maybe I will choose a side at some point, but I’m still having so much fun discovering myself in both aspects.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 19, 2020

There are no rules here.
We are M/s24/7 and gave been for going on 19 years.
My beloved also has a little side. I read her books at night. Make sure she has her dolls and bunkie.

One moves slowly into the other.

We are all 3 dimensional people.

We are never just one thing.

Re: To be or not to be...both slave and little...

LordofPain56 • Feb 19, 2020

I never, for once thought that any of us were strictly only one flavor.
For instance, I am primarily a sadist, but I also have qualities that normally would cater to a little, or pet. Possibly a submissive from the HOH, CDD, '50's household crowd could also fit well in my realm (if they could tolerate my sadism). Hehe.