How to deal with noise and sounds ?

How to deal with noise and sounds ?

Fallible Malleable • May 22, 2020

Greetings Kinky Acquaintances,
Looking for information and suggestions when it comes to dealing with sound and scenes/play. For those of you living in shared spaces (apartments, condos, town houses) do you simply leave a bottle of wine or 6 pack of beer at the neighbors with a note to clue them in that perhaps Thursday evenings might be a little loud but not to be alarmed, everyone is perfectly fine, and sorry for the trouble?
Gags have been ordered but arrival time is debatable. What about sound from impact play? Mind you, we are still slowly diving into the waters but bare hand spanks and action from a belt are not exactly quiet either. What is it going to sound like if we progress to floggers, tails, whips and canes?
Another issue is that we’ve offspring in the house and aren’t looking to clue them into our activities. Sneaking off to the bedroom for a quick romp while they are engaged in a video game or off to a friend’s place is a bit different than time spent with rope and a belt. Offspring has air filter in room that acts as a slight white noise machine to assist with sleeping so that is something, but would appreciate any helpful hints you all might wish to share with this novice. Thanks very much.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • May 22, 2020

i think the land lord can charge a premium price for rent... to your neighbors.

Re: How to deal with noise and sounds ?

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • May 23, 2020

just a heads up. Gags rarely muffle sound. in fact gags, if anything they tend to make submissive make the sounds, that make neighbours want to call the police.

Music on, helps with kids. The radio works best as the sounds vary and people are often talking (it covers you talking too). Keeping something to cover yourself with, helps too. My kids are much older now but we played with them all home from birth. I found what worked for us was training the kids to respect our space (and us theirs too) we all knocked on doors from a very early age. We taught them all early bedrooms are personal space to be respected. Making sure they could sleep through anything by always being noisy at a normal level in general, also helped.

Different toys create different sounds, you'll soon figure out what ones are best avoided and when. Vanilla sex is loud and people have coped for eons, play isn't much different. If your into chains, metal D rings and carabines etc, tool dip works wonders as the metal on metal noises are diminished. Chains ran through plastic piping works too.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • May 23, 2020

I forgot to say. PLANNING is also key to making it work. Save the louder, heavier thuddy stuff for when the kids arent home or when you can get a baby sitter. Booking into a hotel for an afternoon works too. Get a couple of babysitters that you can count on. Decide how often you will get away. Once a month? Twice a month? Every third weekend? You decide based on finances and the time the child needs. Let your babysitter know when you would like them, and how often. Plan for sound and play. Try to keep your playroom and the kids bedroom as far apart as possible. If possible, make that a different room than your bedroom. If you have the money, soundproof your bedroom/playroom. Make sure you have secure locks from the inside and outside. Children are great for barging in unannounced. and you have a right to privacy, too.

I as the Dominant used to use this to advantage, I'd work around it. I'd build apprehension in my sub/s with the promise of what would happen later (with the kids gone) by the time that time arrived my sub was in already in the right mind set it didn't take much to make them fly.

Kids aren't kids for ever, you need to enjoy them. Having a child is a challenge in any relationship, and even more so to a BDSM relationship. It does change your life, but if you understand that, and are willing to accommodate it, you can overcome the problems and still have a strong and supportive BDSM partnership.

Thinking Naughty​(dom male) • May 24, 2020

This is and will continue to be an ongoing challenge. Music (and TV) as mentioned above absolutely help, so does training everyone to respect closed/locked doors. That being said, hand and belt are me favorite tools right now and I find late night fun helps keep things on the proverbial quiet.

I think pillows and soft gags like scarves and such muffle cries better than gags.

Some clothing like cottons dampen the noise without negating the feel. Though there is nothing like bare skin being hit.

Though it may seem weird, adsorbing sound in the room really helps. I'm talking curtains, carpet, pillow forts, weatherstripping, whatever you can do. A pile of couch cushions against a door works wonders.

Other than that you might need to build up slowly and desensitize those within possible earshot.

DrWakko • May 24, 2020

You can go to places like Home Depot and by sound dampening devices. You can also get egg holders and put them around your room. It will also help with the noise.