everyone has a joke in them let's hear your fav

Road Toad • May 26, 2020

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing so his friend calls 911. 'My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down sir, first make sure that he's really dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Ok, now what?"

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • May 26, 2020

I went to the doctors because everytime I eat my belly makes funny noises that sound like
A E I O U.
Doctor told me I have irritable vowel syndrome

Road Toad • May 26, 2020

I tried tied to catch fog yesterday

Mist.

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • May 26, 2020

ignores that one

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • May 26, 2020

Two fonts walked into a bar. The barman immediately kicked them out saying 'We don't serve your type in here'

Road Toad • May 26, 2020

Does someone need a nappy?

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • May 26, 2020

@@

Road Toad • May 26, 2020

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually, she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

"JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question.

"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

The Teacher fainted.

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • May 26, 2020

To the Toad Road
you made up for the last one there

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • May 26, 2020

I hear terrorists are now putting bombs in tins of alphabettispaghetti.. if they go off it could spell DISASTER !!