Road Toad
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4 years ago •
May 29, 2020
Little red riding hood was walking through the forest and saw the wolf hiding in the grass.
She said what big ears you have and he says the better to hear you with then he runs off... Then she sees him hiding behind a tree and she says what big eyes you have, the better to see you with he says then runs off... Next, she sees him hiding behind a rock and says what big teeth you have He says dammit would you leave me alone I'm trying to take a poop, damn little nosey brat |
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Online now
Dellydoodah(neither female)
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4 years ago •
May 30, 2020
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there |
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Road Toad
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4 years ago •
May 30, 2020
Cinderella wants to go to another ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name! "I can't remember, exactly ...' Peter Peter' something |
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Dellydoodah(neither female)
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4 years ago •
May 30, 2020
@ToadRoad
You're gunna have to explain that one @@ |
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Sir Don(dom male){Nt looking}
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4 years ago •
May 30, 2020
What is the last thing a flying bug sees when it hits the windshield of your car????
It's asshole |
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Dellydoodah(neither female)
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4 years ago •
May 30, 2020
What's the hardest part for the farmer when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake |
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Road Toad
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4 years ago •
May 30, 2020
Dellydoodah wrote: @ToadRoad
You're gunna have to explain that one @@ Peter, Peter pumpkin eater, Had a wife but couldn't keep her; He put her in a pumpkin shell And there he kept her well. Peter, Peter pumpkin eater, Had another and didn't love her; Peter learned to read and spell, And then he loved her very well. |
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Noodz(sub female)
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4 years ago •
May 30, 2020
What is blue and not heavy ?
Light Blue |
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Sir Don(dom male){Nt looking}
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4 years ago •
May 30, 2020
Man goes into a tattoo shop and tell the artist that he wants a tattoo of $100 bill tattooed on his penis ...
Artist : well that's a bit unusual, nay i ask why? Man : it is like this my wife doesn't like to give me a blow job but she sure knows how to blow a $100 |
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Road Toad
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4 years ago •
May 30, 2020
A Yorkshire man's beloved wife passed away.
He went to the headstone maker to sort out the stone for her grave. Being a devout man, he decided the inscription should read 'She was thine'. The stonemason told him to return a week later. A week later the man returns to inspect the stone. The proud stonemason wheeled it out in a trolley. It looked fabulous, except the inscription read 'She was thin'. "It's missing an 'e'," he exclaimed. The slightly embarrassed mason apologized profusely and asked him to return a week later and he would fix it. A week later, the Yorkshire man headed back to inspect the finished stone. The mason wheeled it out again. The poor widower inspected the stone. It said... 'E she was thin'. |
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