Is there such a role as a "toy"?

Justme26 • Aug 15, 2020

1. I have all ways assumed that "toy" refers to a submissive that you can do anything with. I think you would have to be pretty dance to take that literally.

2. I think there is a kink in which one is maid to suffer and, at the same, denied any pleasure that might be gained from the situation. I once read a discussion in which someone would hold a party, would be made to suffer during the party and would, and at the same time was unable to gain any of the pleasure that there guests were enjoying; One example (I forget the exact details) the host was made to face the wall throughout the party, and was used as a human toilet. I do not know if this has anything to do with being a toy. It is just similar to the kink that you were talking about.

3. I am sorry that so many (mostly men I think) still can not grasp some of the basic concepts of BDSM; they are not your sub unless they agree to be (dick head).

MasterTrainerT • Aug 25, 2020

To the original question. A few months ago my sub was a bit off. I could read the signs. She was obviously struggling with something. So I told her she needed to communicate her issue. She said that there are times in her core being that she needs to be used like an inanimate toy with no regaurd to her as a person or human to the point one of her hard limits was ok to be broken. So we discussed how she should present herself when this need of hers has to be dealt with. It has happened a few times in the past 6 months but not central to our dynamic. Please note her need. Not my demand. Though a few weeks ago i had a baaaaaaad work week. I told her on thursday i would be poor company over the weekend and she should go to her sister's or be in toy mode as i had no emotional capacity for anyone and needed to recharge. Friday i came home to find my toy in the foyer with a note. This time its for you! By Sunday i wass done playing with toys and we had a lovely sunday of rest and romance we talked at length and are so much closer. She sensed my need to release tension was bigger than her need to be cared for. Againg my request her choice.

MrFulmen • Aug 25, 2020

What that message seems to be describing is a heavy sexual objectification dynamic, where the submitting partner serves as a sex toy for their dominant and their own pleasure or preferences aren't relevant. That is a real thing that people do. I've done it with several partners.

But here's the thing. To work well and be healthy, it has to be done within a strong container of consent and mutual desire. The toy has to actively *want* to be a toy and enjoy being a toy. The dominating partner has to, in the final analysis, actually care a lot about their toy's fulfillment and wellbeing. They have to communicate and negotiate so that the dominating partner understands the parameters of what makes that dynamic good for their toy, and what lines not to cross.

One of my favorite things about that kind of dynamic is the deliciously twisted paradox it creates. In the immediate moment the toy genuinely is a toy--it doesn't matter what they want or if they're enjoying how they're used. But, at the same time, in the bigger picture it's essential that they're getting their needs met from being made into a toy.

Also: don't get too attached to the labels used for specific kinds of dynamic. Lots of people use the title "toy," and they might be talking about very different kinds of roles. Same things for "slave" or "daddy" or whatever else. If it's important to understand what kind of kinky shit someone wants to get up to, you've gotta get them to describe it. You can't assume that their "toy" means the same thing as the last person's "toy."

subboyd​(sub male) • Aug 25, 2020

I think it sounds hot and want a dom man to do it to me

KnottyBunny • Aug 25, 2020

I think the labels and all of the different meanings to different people is what is confusing to me. I have taken on many roles. It all depends on my mood. Right now, I've become so ice cold about any sort of feeling in a dynamic I just want pain and could really care less what is done to me or if they are getting what they need.

Re: Is there such a role as a "toy"?

Tthomas • Aug 25, 2020

It depends on how adventurous you are. My first thought is if he thinks a slave is to much trouble would your life be much trouble?

hank submissive male​(sub male) • Aug 26, 2020

I think you are right to be alarmed it does seem like he cares for the safety and any sort of human interaction. it seems he wants a inanimate object and no real human interaction

AmericanPsycho{None} • Aug 26, 2020

To all that have commented on this post about gifts of submission. What a doms role is or what a dubs role is That is perfectly fine if you chose rules over finding the raw nature of yourself. You all call it red flags. I call it truth in yourself. I am many things in life. But I am also sadist. I make no rules nor do I make nice with masochist women. I don’t need a submissive I chose masochist. And yes to me that’s a toy and that is stated up front Yes there are some of us out here that can’t and will not fall into the definitions. That bdsm groups assign. Some of us are just pure us the woman who posted this was learning how to deal with someone like me. When teaching new doms and subs in the future. Please make sure you represent the true sadist and masochist group.

Your reaching to far and trying to hard

AmericanPsycho{None} • Aug 26, 2020

You are correct. No mental. Just physical. Just for your inf

AmericanPsycho{None} • Aug 26, 2020