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Intrigued

Curious Curvy Girl
4 years ago • Oct 10, 2020

Intrigued

Curious Curvy Girl • Oct 10, 2020
Hello!

I often fantasize about being dominated by a man and find it quite arousing, though I’ve never been dominated before in my life. This sudden interest has me wondering if it’s the kind of relationship I want.

What are some good first steps or tips in determining if this is right for me?
ElizaEmma​(sub female){NotLooking}
4 years ago • Oct 10, 2020
There are many variations of domination, from occasional play sessions to 24/7 total power exchange and anything in between. Find out what your fantasies fall and proceed carefully. Read (at a minimum, go through all the FAQ on this site and listen to some of the podcasts), talk to people, and if you decide to take the plunge and approach a Dom, take the same precaution as you would when it comes to meeting any stranger for a date. Also try to find out whether you truly want to enter into a D/s type relationship, or you just need a Top.

More likely or not, your mailbox is being flooded by Doms now. Be polite and respectful (just as you would with anyone), but do not submit or get pressured to do anything against your will. Until you agree to become his sub, he is just another human being. Ask questions, lots of questions. This may just be a personal thing, I become very annoyed when strangers insist on me addressing them as Sir, Master, etc. prematurely. I may be a sub, but I am not THEIR sub until we both agree to enter into some sort of relationship.
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Hypnotist​(dom male)
4 years ago • Oct 10, 2020

Re: Intrigued

Hypnotist​(dom male) • Oct 10, 2020
Curious Curvy Girl wrote:
Hello! What are some good first steps or tips in determining if this is right for me?


I suggest this to people new to the BDSM scene all the time.
Take the long version of the survey at bdsmtest.org
Then click the descriptions of the things you scored highest on, and read the descriptions of those things.
This is one way of helping you to quickly determine what you are more likely to be interested in.
Bunnie
4 years ago • Oct 10, 2020
Bunnie • Oct 10, 2020
“What are some good first steps or tips in determining if this is right for me?”

Go to a munch. It’s a casual get-together in a vanilla setting (most often lunch at a pub or cafe), where like-minded people get together and just chat. It is a great way of meeting people who are active lifestylers. My experiences have all been really positive, however I think the biggest thing is simply bridging that gap between it being a fantasy and having it become a reality... not in the sense of kinky opportunities, but more-so in just seeing that the people who live this lifestyle in the flesh, are everyday, ordinary people. I also found everyone to be so encouraging and willing to answer any questions.

I use Fetlife to find munches... just type in an area in the “events” section, and any groups with events (skillshares, munches, play parties) coming up will show up for that area. You can say that you’re “maybe” going, however it’s good practice to make it a definite if you do decide to commit, just to give them an idea of numbers. If you’re really nervous, you can even contact the coordinators and I’ve found them to be so great. Just remember that you’re free to leave any time, you’re under no obligation to anyone except yourself. The first steps to get there are the hardest, but once you see they’re just like you, it can be like finding a lost family. Good luck icon_biggrin.gif
Miki​(masochist female)
4 years ago • Oct 10, 2020

Re: Intrigued

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 10, 2020
Curious Curvy Girl wrote:
Hello!

I often fantasize about being dominated by a man and find it quite arousing, though I’ve never been dominated before in my life. This sudden interest has me wondering if it’s the kind of relationship I want.

What are some good first steps or tips in determining if this is right for me?
Many things come into play.. But, first, get to know the guy.. Then well, if it feels good.. Do It!