Help

Help

dombby • Dec 5, 2020

Please help. I’m new to the whole dorm thing and I’ve met a man who wants me to dominate him but he wants to be sort of abused In way and I don’t know what to make him do

gfredwings • Dec 5, 2020

all you got to do is be his mistress and be firm and very disciplinarian to him. Get yourself and flogger, whip or belt and use it on him. He will appreciate it. get yourself a strapon dildo and tie him up and fuck him and he will be yours forever. just be stern and don't have much mercy until he learns you control him.. remember, be relentless and don't give him a break.
I know this because I am a very submissive slave to many mistresses and they fuck me in my ass anytime by whipping or tying me up and and making me their slave. I am a big sissy though and I fear women what they will do to me so I submit to them. I love being a slave a an attractive female. If you want a slave I will be yours?
thanks for reading ,
slave gary

Re: Help

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Dec 5, 2020

Need a lot more info here. There are (at least) two sides to a D/s dynamic. In this case, yours and your partners. Your profile is empty, so we know nothing about you, and we really know nothing about your partner. It's sort of like you are saying/asking: "Me and my mate are hungry, what should we eat?" Not knowing anything about you or your mate, we can only give a generic answer to your generic question: "food." But it likely won't be helpful.

The one piece of info you sort of gave us is "...he wants to be sort of abused in a way....."
What constitutes "abused" in your mind? In his? Answering those two questions would be a start for you.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Dec 6, 2020

small correction here and its an important one or my lip will end up bleeding LOL. Not aimed the poster but the content.
If your going to do the above ^^^ suggestion PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE learn the safety that goes with these actions.
Floggers, whips and belts **IF** not used right can and most likely do damage such as broken bones, tearing skin or damage to internal organs. Additionally do you even know if he enjoys pain?
Strapons are not every-bodies friend in truth there are a lot of male submissive that do not like anal play. Some cannot do so due to medical reasons. Adding to this just jamming something up his ass and working it will cause damage, there is a learning curve to the action.

NOT ALL DOMMES AND NOT ALL SUBMISSIVE ARE STAMPED OUT BY THE SAME COOKIE CUTTER.
The only similarity we ALL share is the safety to the actions we might undertake.

I'm writing this not scare you but to make you aware you need to know the safety of the action before you jump in blindly and you need to understand the responsibility you are taking on. You also need to know this HE is what he is consenting too. There is also the emotional side to play too. also Aftercare.

if your not interested in what he wants, there nothing saying you need do it. If your serious about doing this for YOU then do the things YOU enjoy. If he is genuinely interested in you, then he will will wait for YOU to catch up on safety and the direction that you wish play to take. If he doesn't...well then there a million and one "slave gary's that will fill that void, gary just proved that point"

I know your looking for a direction and so far I haven't given you anything but how about starting with what rocks YOUR world. Study and learn about those things. Start small and add. You can always add to play each session, however you cannot take away a wrong action (frackup or damage caused)

You might also like to post when you break down just what rocks your world and and post learn on each specific act from there.
Femdom is about YOU and what YOU want. Then finding a submissive that fits those needs and play happens in the area where BOTH your needs met and sometimes a little on the edges (with more consent)

...if your going to take this path, make sure it is about you. There are many here on cage that will help you create your own journey but there are less that will offer you a blow blow, step step by step guide because being Dominant take more than recreating someone else scene.

AveryA​(sub female) • Dec 6, 2020

I didn't think abuse was consensual.

Submissiveboyforyou​(sub male){Would love} • Dec 6, 2020

Hello Goddess. How are you doing this morning?

House Talion​(dom male) • Jan 13, 2021

Abuse here is a broad term. Some want to be roughed up, some want to be beaten, some want to come within inches of pleasing you sexually just to be told 'no'. Be strict, forceful, and demanding

Byrdie​(switch female){rl only} • Jan 17, 2021

Abuse:

* verbal?
* physical?
* emotional?
* financial?
* blackmail?
* degradation?

Seriously, what is "abuse" in this context? If he only said, "Abuse me," you're gonna need more than that from him.

You could put him into fairly inescapable bondage and play "The Barney Song" on loop, and that will be abuse for some people. Others? Sensory deprivation will make 'em *nuts*. Others? Try gentle touches and cooing baby talk, and you may have to restrain them for your own protection. I've seen a lot of submissives state that corner time - or some other form of being ignored - is intolerable.

Also, what's abusive for one person is heaven for another. Tickling? Most people safeword right the heck outta that, but there is a tickler / ticklee community out there. Sitting and staring into someone's eyes may be a transcendent experience for some, but could be traumatizing for someone who is a-neurotypical: someone with Autism or Asperger's Syndrome, say. Thuddy vs. stingy sensations - there are some seriously polarized opinions.

Humiliation? Verbal, as in brow-beating him? Emotional, as in mind-fucks to really leave him questioning his self-esteem?

Degradation? Human toilet, ashtray, chair, sex-bolster?

Financial? You take control of his income, put him on an allowance and he has to beg you for anything above that?

*Anything* can be abusive if the people involved think it is / can get into that possibility. So, like may others here, it really depends.

You may want to look into general books on kink, if you're just looking for random ideas.