Sterenda(switch female){{owned}}
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6 years ago •
Apr 25, 2018
In a bit of a quandary
So I am at a bit of a cross roads, Some background history first Both my dom and I suffered sexual abuse at the hands of family members as children I am also trans About 8 months into hrt at the point. long ago my dom agreed to indulge me in degradation and humilation as it helped me cope with what happened. Its not really her thing but she has done it for me.
The issue i am conflicted about is now hat I am transitioning and in serious therapy i am starting to question if to continuing to heavily indulge in this is doing more harm then good Because I no longer hate myself as much and am coming to terms with what happened as a child. the logical side of my brain no longer wants this but the emotional side most definitely finds it comforting I have been playing with the idea of walking it back and perhaps just keeping it to the bedroom any thoughts would be great. |
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Online now
elusiveeliza{Masterfull}
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6 years ago •
Apr 25, 2018
I think only you know you. If you feel like walking it back do so, maybe ask your counselor about it as well. Best of luck
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CapnRick(dom male)
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6 years ago •
Apr 25, 2018
Follow your gut instinct, not your pleasure center...
I'm in basic agreement with Lisa. Your counselor/therapist should get to weigh in on this. My guess is that as you respond to your therapy, and feel better about yourself, the continuing of harsh humiliation and debasement might be getting in the way of further progress. Only a trained therapist can give you good advice here,
but your even bringing up the question seems to say that you are seeing red flags waving in continuing your past behavior... just a thought. |
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CapnRick(dom male)
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6 years ago •
Apr 25, 2018
Whoops, Pardon my misspelling your name LiZa....
My bad...
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Sterenda(switch female){{owned}}
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6 years ago •
Apr 26, 2018
Re: Follow your gut instinct, not your pleasure center... Cap'n Rick wrote: I'm in basic agreement with Lisa. Your counselor/therapist should get to weigh in on this. My guess is that as you respond to your therapy, and feel better about yourself, the continuing of harsh humiliation and debasement might be getting in the way of further progress. Only a trained therapist can give you good advice here,
but your even bringing up the question seems to say that you are seeing red flags waving in continuing your past behavior... just a thought. mhmm one of the flags was the other day when my dom attempted abrupt physical pain i was totally not into it to the point that she got frustated to the point where she was like wtf are you saying we have always been this way who the fuck are you confuseing me with? which prompted me to broach the subject with my therapist, which then led me to asking my dom if we could expirement with stepping back at least the humilation and degradation which she was only really do to please me |
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Bunnie
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6 years ago •
Apr 26, 2018
I think we all grow and change, and our desires and interests grow and change with us. It’s the same with our relationships. Even though I understand it can be a struggle, talk to your Domme, explain where you’re at and how you’re feeling. (Maybe you could ask your therapist about ways you can talk with your Domme about it). Give her the opportunity to explore this with you. Maybe it’ll open up a possibility to move into a new place within your relationship. I actually see this as beautiful and quite positive.
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Sterenda(switch female){{owned}}
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6 years ago •
Apr 26, 2018
yeah my doms actually completely fine
with stepping back the humiliation and degradation shes grumbling about hating change but i can tell shes kinda happy. |
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MasterNeil77722(dom male)
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6 years ago •
May 6, 2018
A good Dom concerns only for the well being of the Sub. Do what you think is best for you. If your Dom is a good Dom she will fine with whatever you decide.
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Sterenda(switch female){{owned}}
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6 years ago •
May 6, 2018
A good Dom concerns only for the well being of the Sub. Do what you think is best for you. If your Dom is a good Dom she will fine with whatever you decide.
Mmm I would say its not that black and white but i understand what you are trying to say. A bit of a update my dom and I have talked at length and decided that we are going to start easing into a 24/7 tpe, shes giving me at least one new rule a week to learn and add to the existing ones, shes also agreed to help me with some things that really matter to me. the sense of safety that this brings cannot be understated it lets me focus and have a goal to focus on. it also encourages me to excel to earn her positive reinforcement. I am also taking better care of myself as a result. so yeah things are getting better |
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