how do u define hardcore?

how do u define hardcore?

HealerKim • May 11, 2018

How do you define “hardcore”?
From what I’ve experienced, I don’t think defining hardcore is necessary. is there any standard that distinguishes hardcore?
For example, lets say person A likes needle plays. But A doesn’t like spanking that much, and A also does not like bondages. Would you say A is hardcore?
Ppl often think needle plays are dangerous thus needle players are hardcore. But in case of A, is A hardcore? Even when A only likes needle plays?
In addition, I don’t think danger level cannot be the standard to distinguish hard/soft. Cuz all plays have its own potential threat. How can someone put a level of many plays? Also, ppl do not have same tolerance. Each individual will have different feeling from an act.
Therefore, I don’t think its necessary and useless to put one’s self in the category of hard/soft.
How about u guys? Whats ur opinion?

redcutie​(dom trans woman) • May 11, 2018

Hello Kim

I also think its neither neccessary nor easy to define hardcore. To a degree hard/softcore varies from person to person. What is extreme to one might be pretty normal for another person. My own perception of hardcore really changed over time as well. Things that looks hardcore to me a year ago are kinda average now.

Apart from that I think the best is to see each kink in its own right. For example in needle plays there are kinda soft scenes and also quite extreme ones. So to say every kink has varies degrees in a scene. Even when I love bondage I can see a difference between light bondage, maybe getting tied to the bed, and more intense bondage, like fully tied and suspended. Its not really a standard of course and highly depends on the person looking at it but it is something. I guess in the end its like the saying about porn "I can't define it but I know when I see it".

FabSeverus​(dom male) • May 11, 2018

Its messured by the degree of acceptance and tolerance.
A new sub wont start her training with needle play or staple for example. She will run straight out of the door.
Its hardore because it is measure by the level of pain. there are more examples who qualify as hardcore.
Now there are a few kinks who start soft and get hardcore by their intensity, example spanking, you can start few sessions with soft bare hand spanking and finished with gloves with spikes, chillies, sand paper glued to it. Bondage, fisting, same process etc...

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • May 13, 2018

Some one here had this quote on their profile and it sprung to mind when I read this post
(sorry I cant quote the OP and haven't checked if it is wiseman quote. I must dig out my copy and see!)
The quote was "“A pervert is anybody kinkier than you are.” (Wiseman, 1996, p. 23, SM 101)."
Shuffle the words "hardcore is anybody more hardcore than you are" and it speaks volumes.
To each their own! Does the word really need defining? To me what needs defining is how the word applies to the individual or individuals involved. I dont consider myself hardcore but have had others run when I say what I like.

I like how Fab worded this line...

I'd just add (for myself personally)
Its messured by the degree of acceptance and tolerance of the submissive I'm with. (thanks Fab)

kinkerbell123​(sub female){FckCollars} • May 13, 2018

I'm just going to say that I personally dislike the hang up on labels in the community sometimes. I once talked to a girl who thought a leather belt was "heavy pain" and another girl told her she was wrong because a cane hurts more. But the thing is, either can be right. Hardcore depends on the energy between the partners.

Are there kinks that are more taboo than others, even in BDSM? Most definitely. But the definition of hardcore is nebulous at best.

Cilantro​(dom male) • May 13, 2018

I would say that the intensity of the activity defines if it is hardcore (slight spanking vs hard spanking for example) not so much by the type it is.

Byrdie​(switch female){rl only} • May 13, 2018

I find that it depends on the person, and where they are in their kink journey. If it makes me back up a step, or if I start getting queasy, or if I walk over to a very loud scene to see if it was a suspension going horribly wrong, I'll likely define it as "hard core" for *me*. For the people involved, and probably a lot of the appreciative viewers, it's probably another Saturday night - perhaps with a certain degree of boundary pushing.

There are things that I've done that I think are no big, that make other people cringe, back up, cross their arms over certain body parts, squeak, etc. At the same time, there are things that those very same people do used to inspire me to furrow my brow and say, "But doesn't that hurt?" Then we both stare at each other, baffled.

Early advise to me that I still prize is, "Everybody plays to their own edge." To one person, a slight spanking might be edge play if they were abused in their formative years and that's a trigger. Other people may be offended at being given such a light warmup, preferring to do what I've heard called "going from 0 to 60". Like most people on this thread, I think it's relative.

Bunnie • May 14, 2018

I would say for myself personally, anything that makes me feel genuinely fearful (not to be confused with slightly scared of the unknown), would be considered to be hardcore. It doesn’t necessarily mean that my ideas around it wouldn’t change over time, but i guess it’s something that I would consider could be harmful if exposed to it too early (before being ready).

BDD​(sub male) • May 23, 2018

Once a person has decided that a kink or activity has caught there interest regardless of popular opinion or even the reality of said event(Maybe it really is just Hardcore) You become aclimated to it. It's alot like the cold the more you play in it the warmer it becomes to you. I would think whatever it is (Shocking or Not) that person who has decided to become engulfed in there now favorite play...will never call it Hardcore as they are looking for the next best experience.....

DammitJanet​(sub female){NOT INTERE} • May 25, 2018

BDSM is a huge spectrum of a journey, defining hardcore is not a measured tolerance of pain or fear.....
...I am the same person I was yesterday but with the addition of today’s experiences in relation to not just BDSM but in life, successful tolerance and satisfaction depends on how well you have communicated and interpretated each other’s needs and everyone’s needs differ.
Do we eventually become numb and need more?
In relation to hardcore, I removed the bruised ass pic on my profile as it offended some, saying ‘too much for me’ yet others found it a turn on.
We’re all on our own journey, my journey is not yours.