exceptions to asexuality (gray asexual)

exceptions to asexuality (gray asexual)

Just Jessy​(switch gender queer){Owned} • Mar 27, 2021

Heya, I'm Jessy, I'm a nonbinary pansexual gray asexual who is currently in a relationship with a super amazing trans woman. When we first met, I told her I was asexual because I'd literally only been sexually attracted to one person in my entire life up to that point. She happens to be the second person I've been sexually attracted to. She doesn't understand how I can be asexual and still be sexually attracted to and even enjoy having sex with her. I've told her numerous times I'm gray asexual, so basically, there are exceptions to the rule. Like if you generally don't like eating pork, but when your grandma makes her special pork, it's your absolute favorite and you love it. She still doesn't really get it and is often concerned that I'm faking being sexually attracted to her just to make her happy. I've told her numerous times that's not true, but I'm also very difficult to read (even empaths agree it's really hard to read me), so I don't blame her for thinking I'm uninterested when I'm actually very interested.
So with all that being said, are there other gray asexuals out there who generally don't really like the idea of sex or sexual things, but you have people who are exceptions to the rule?

roguetulip​(dom trans man) • Mar 28, 2021

Not grey but demi here and I can fully understand you. It takes me a damn good while to make any romantic/sexual connections, usually by then they've been relegated to the friend some if your gf can get to understand your pan side, she'll get used to the grey in time. -it could also be a bit of angst coming through from her trans status as well.

DrWakko • Mar 28, 2021

Could she be fighting her sexuality and projecting it on you? I know I had a long term girlfriend and she was very non sexual. Instead of asking her why she she didn’t want sex I “accepted” that she wasn’t very sexual so I became “asexual”.

Maybe your partner is doing the same. Since you came out as asexual which would mean she wouldn’t have to deal with being sexual. Now you find yourself sexually attracted to her she now has to do the same to you.

Give it time and let’s hope the sexual attractions line up.