Pleasing my dom

Pleasing my dom

switch34567​(switch female) • May 10, 2018

So I've been seeing someone for a little over a year, from the first time we slept together it was clear that we were both into very aggressive sex. I've never been in a true Dom/Sub relationship before, he has but nothing long term so we've definitely explored and stepped up our game together. We focus on sadomasochist and master/slave type of play. He's an amazing guy and constantly asks what my likes and dislikes are and what I'm ok with. Because this is my first relationship, I have a few problems I'd like advice on. First if I mention something is a soft no, or soft dislike, for instance, I don't like being slapped across my face very much but it's not a hard no, basicaly I'd like it restricted to maybe 3-4 times in a play session. But after knowing I don't like it, he won't do it at all which bothers me because I really don't mind that much, it's not a hard no, and I know he likes it. We both like a lot of pain in sex, him inflicting and me receiving, and he basically said he is only comfortable inflicting pain if he knows I enjoy it, knowing I don't liked to be slapped across my face, it's hard for him to do it solely for his pleasure. How do I get him to be ok with it or be ok with the differences is hard and soft no's?

Second issue is mostly on me, so when we first started, I had never received anal and he had never given. We tried a few times and it was too painful so we stopped and he was fine with that. Knowing how bad he's wanted to try, I bought some toys and practiced and basically surprised him with it one day asking him to fuck my ass and having it fit with no pain! Then he said he wanted to try with no lube which I said no, but again, knowing how bad he wanted to try it, we did and it was suprisingly fine! He also wanted to cum in my ass, I figured that was safe enough. Basically now that a new hole is available to him, it's his new favorite toy and he's playing with it as often and as much as he can. We were talking one day and he merely mentioned how it annoys him that once he enters my ass, he can't go back to my pussy, that he loves fucking my ass but prefers to cum in my pussy. Once again, wanting to please, I looked up what cleaning methods can be done to safely allow him to go back and forth without giving me a UTI or spreading bacteria. Now he mentioned he wants to add my mouth to the mix. The idea of his dick going from my ass to my mouth grosses me out and I don't want to do it but knowing he wants to, I find myself searching for safe ways to make it possible and if I will really mind once he does. I've realized I do this a lot. Anything he wants, I want him to have but I'm questioning the sanitary and safety of my actions and if it's ok if I keep adding these things to the mix or how to stop myself if trying to make all of his fantasies a reality. When he fucked my ass with no lube, there was no pain at the time and we both loved it but it was so rough that my ass was off limits for the next week which sucked because we were on vacation together. The next thing we are going to try is a rough blowjob, his goal is to try and make me throw up which I have a terrible gag reflex so it won't be hard. He said if I throw up, and he hasn't cum, he's sticking it back in my mouth untill he gets off.

Basically I'm wondering if other subs experience this? My Dom does not preassure me in anyway but knowing something would please him, I drive myself insane to figure out a way to give it to him. I mean has anyone else allowed their Dom to use all their holes interchangably? Is anything I'm doing really that unsafe where I should stop trying to make his fanatasies a reality? I just get so focused on pleasing him I don't know how to stop. Thoughts or suggestions?

FabSeverus​(dom male) • May 10, 2018

IN my opinion
first of all your first issue is your relationship. it cant be M/S rl as you wont question his decision or give any limits.
the second point is the mixte messages to your Top about limits. Either there are or not. So its better to use the safe word to stop if its too much for you then it will know your tolerance point. If he's very receptive he should not carry on until the next session, then he could push the boundaries again to see your next level of tolerance. So as such you dont stop completly but built up tolerance just like your anal experience.

for the ass to mouth of course its a delicate subject. As long as you keep it clean just before action it should be ok, another trick is to have a bottle of water handy and gulp some before he insert his penis in and spit it out. Kind of wash and carry on
anal no lube ouch, plus might damaged tissues...infection etc...I am not doctor or specialist but....
gag reflex is to do with practice, a lots on internet explain it. the more you do the better you get.
anal to vagina, any doctor will tell you its a risk for infection, so yes he's annoyed but do you want infection? best way is to wear a condom when in your ass then take it off to cum into your pussy.

you are a very good sub, but its also a two way in my opinion. A dom should make sure he doesnt put any health risk to his sub.

switch34567​(switch female) • May 11, 2018

Uhg, I don't want to be trained or increase my face slapping tolerance but yeah, that seems to be the case. We're meeting in a month and it seems as though a day will be dedicated to this.

He doesn't like the feel of lube so he fucks my pussy then my ass, its provided enough lube and isn't painful for either of us so it seems to work without tearing or infection! I like the feel of lube so we still use it but now that he knows we can go without and feel good for both of us, we use it a lot less or only when needed.

He's very aware of the infection and risk which is why he's never done it and doesn't plan to. It's more of me wanting to know if anyone has done anal to vagina or anal to mouth safely or if there is a way to do it sanitarily?

Bunnie • May 11, 2018

i haven't done it, and i can't comment as to whether it's safe or not. i have, however, discussed it with a Dom, as we were looking into the possibilities. The best idea we came up with would be to clean your ass beforehand, using an enema. i have a link that i'll try to share, about how to clean it, but it doesn't suggest anything about ass to mouth. Obviously it's not going to be a completely sterile situation, so i thinks it's just a matter of making it as hygienic as is possible... maybe have some unscented baby wipes on hand etc.
https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/properly-clean-ass-anal-sex-porn/1541343/amp#read-more

DrWakko • May 11, 2018

Your best bet from going from anal to vaginal is for him to wear a condom during anal. Even if you took the porn approach to anal, you still risk some transmission of anal matter to vaginal. This way is also cleaner and "safer" for anal to oral as well.

I "safer" as I am no doctor nor am I giving out any form of medical advice.

Go enjoy your wild sex.

DW

Greeneyedreamer​(sub female){Yes I am } • May 30, 2018

Ass to mouth or vagina is not safe. Period. Vagina to mouth will not hurt you. I understand that it is exciting but one of the first and foremost rules of a Dom is the Protection of his submissive. Your best interest should be at the forefront of his actions or deeds.

Sugar

DammitJanet​(sub female){NOT INTERE} • May 31, 2018

Ass to mouth isn’t a health risk really, there are some benefits (not my thing though) unless I was dying of c-diff
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.newscientist.com/article/mg22530083-600-not-just-obesity-faecal-transplants-weird-effects/amp/

One word of warning though, anything you put in your ass must be water soluble, the anus is the same as your mucous membrane in your mouth, what goes in is absorbed into your blood stream very quickly. No petroleum jelly, use a water based lube.

Stay safe, have fun

NrsGoodBody​(switch female){FREEspirit} • Jun 2, 2018

So... i'm an actual nurse.... um, ass to mouth, not safe. I don't get my info from webMD or Google. I can tell you that the bacteria cultivating there, if put in your mouth, can increase your risk of multiple diseases. I use actual evidence based practice medical journals for my information.

Regardless, safety first. Discuss the concerns.
1. Infection
2. Tearing without lube which can lead to increased complications.
3. As a D, ....you leave your s better than you found them. Is this bettering you?
-Nrs