How has the “Change in you “ effected the kink in you?

How has the “Change in you “ effected the kink in you?

Bluebutterfly​(sub female){Havelock } • Apr 6, 2021

I know I mention hormones in my blogs ( as it’s a big thing for me at the moment) but I was wondering; if any are willing to discuss, how has the peri menopause/ menopause is effecting your kink life? This will include men to so don’t be shy. What your partners go through effects you to.


For me it’s been having to wear condoms just before and just after what ever period I am going to have. It’s very acidic in there and I don’t want to rot his Crown Jewels. My pain tolerance is much much lower now but how frustrated I get definitely effects that. Sleep is really bitty which adds to the frustration and my grumpy mood but my sex drive has gone through the roof, or maybe that’s the just the smell of H.

SageFlame​(sub female) • Apr 9, 2021

I'll jump in blubutterfly.

I wasn't able to explore kink until I was single , just over two years now. But as far as affecting sexual activity there were small adjustments with sensitivity as you mentioned. The great majority of change was in irritability mainly due to lack of sleep. I needed more headspace and to simplify my schedule. Going through the change took more energy than my pregnancies.

Regular exercise has always been instrumental in balancing internal harmony. Not just the gym but outdoors in fresh air and sunshine.

Improved health improves attitude that ripples over into all areas of life.

Other than that I'm more free than ever before. All the material I read about vaginal issues and libido it just isnt that big of a deal. I've had some of the best intimate experiences since that monthly visitor left for good.

And it keeps getting better. So I'd say in my case the change made way for improved experiences in part because of less stress.

SugarCookie​(sub female) • Apr 9, 2021

Well I've been celibate for years, but my sex drive can be unbearable at times. It comes and goes though thankfully. Cant say for sure if being celibate has anything to do with it or not. Havent noticed any physical changes yet. Still just in pre menopausal stage. But have had the hot flashes, night sweats, and insomnia. Its definitely not fun.

Miki • Apr 9, 2021

Not there yet (36) but middle age should be "interesting" as I have always had amenorrhea due to internal birth defects, details of which I am certain no one in here needs to read about--- so I have hormone replacements to keep from other issues (and so as not to grow a beard and look like some humps in here who shall remain nameless)

So when 40+ rolls around I don't expect my "appetite" to change.

But maybe I'll mellow out as having had a lifetime of fun N games already, might be time to put the leather and chokers away...

Bluebutterfly​(sub female){Havelock } • Apr 9, 2021

I’m not sure how I reply to each message yet.
Exercise is excellent isn’t it and I do find that helps even if it’s a little hard to think about when you haven’t slept much. For now it’s more lube at certain times of the month, H having to cope with me being grumpy at times but a bigger sex drive. Not too bad at the minute and hopefully with a positive outlook it shouldn’t get much worse.

SageFlame​(sub female) • Apr 9, 2021

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"Not too bad at the minute and hopefully with a positive outlook it shouldn’t get much worse. "

It sounds like this is weighing on you. Please tell me if I'm wrong.
I'd like to offer a varied positive outlook if I may. It is okay not to be okay. Accepting this season of change as challenging, and difficult but not permanent. This is you, feeling what you feel right now; not right or wrong, good or bad.

And I hear ya on the exercise piece. When not getting enough sleep it is hard to be motivated. Sometimes a simple walk is just the ticket. Easy and doesn't have to be time consuming. A tiny pick me up if you will. ‍♀️

What are some other things that might help fill your cup?

Bluebutterfly​(sub female){Havelock } • Apr 9, 2021

It’s a big part of life at the minute I guess but not so much weighing on me. I’m interested if others are going through similar issues, although I know this hits everybody in a different way.
It’s hard to feel sexy when at times when it looks like somebody has stuffed rolled up sock balls under your skin on your stomach when I used to have a naturally flat one and one leg from the knee down swells when you don’t want it to. Not a great look. My brain feels like it’s full of cotton wool at times which isn’t helpful at work.
Even with all that said after all the issues over the years and god knows how many gynae visits and issues in between I really do welcome the fact that periods will be no more at some point.
It’s great to hear that you have had some amazing experiences on the other side of it all to.
Xx

Bluebutterfly​(sub female){Havelock } • Apr 9, 2021

Bluebutterfly​(sub female){Havelock } • Apr 9, 2021

Yeah it’s not fun at times is it. I can’t wait for the hormones to settle down and hopefully the issues go with it. If I shed my extra stone and stop swelling up I’ll be relieved.