Channa(sub female)
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5 years ago •
Jun 15, 2018
He called me Bunny
I originally joined the cage about a month ago, being really new not just to the site but also to BDSM and D/s relationships.
I spoke to a few Doms back then, a couple rude from the get go so those conversations didnt last long at all, one a gentle man who seemed sweet and caring however there was just something missing for me at least in our conversations and lastly someone with whom I felt a connection, he came across as respectful, polite and knew what he wanted. He was the one who initiated our contact, I was very candid with him from the beginning, I live in London, I am unable to have children anymore, he knew both of these things and still decided to continue with our conversations, there was something about him that set off a spark in me, we seemed well suited from our likes and dislikes. He wanted to get straight into a D/s relationship, which being a novice I saw nothing wrong with, we had chatted and agreed on our likes and dislikes, he had told me about his rules and they were not overwhelming and I felt i could easily follow them. We got on so well , I was able to talk to him about anything and felt I could open up to him about anything, he opened up to me about things in his life too. There was a strong attraction from both of us, at least that's how it felt and a desire to build on what we had. He mentioned one time about travelling and we spoke about it as something we would be willing to do once our relationship was more established, he lives in the USA so there is a 6 hr difference between us. The distance of course wasnt ideal but both of us felt it was something we would be able to deal with and had spoken about planning to meet up in a few months, if we had worked out I would have been able to relocate. I was totally happy to be his sub and he seemed happy being my dom, then one day a few weeks in, he tells me that the frustration of not being able to touch me was too much for him and also he wanted children it was a big desire for him. The first I felt I could do something about, however the second there was nothing I could do about, I suggested surrogacy but this was not something he was considering to even think about. Leaving me with no option but to offer him an out, to go find someone closer to him, who would be able to have children, which he took, he didnt even have to think for a second about it and just like that we were done. I did ask him if he knew these things why he had continued to want to build a relationship with me and his reply was that he just wanted to feel what it was like to be in a relationship again. I had made the noob mistake of submitting to someone way too quickly without really understanding their motives. Don't get me wrong I bare him no ill will and hope that he does indeed find the happiness he desires. I just wish that not all the lessons we learn were such bitter pills to swallow, and that all Doms were to take submission more seriously. To take someone on and then ditch them just because of something you yourself have no control over, is harsh to say the least. |
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Online now
DammitJanet(sub female){NOT INTERE}
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5 years ago •
Jun 15, 2018
Sorry it didn’t work out. I’ve been both on receiving end and giving end of this. It’s really hard to get past go with on line relationships, I’ve learnt nothing from bad experiences but have managed to maintain good friendships with everyone I’ve ever ‘explored’ D/s S/d with.
I personally think it’s all down to timing, if the timing is off, it doesn’t matter how much you feel for eachother.....sliding doors. Don’t lose hope. |
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Sterenda(switch female){{owned}}
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5 years ago •
Jun 16, 2018
Re: He called me Bunny Channa wrote: I originally joined the cage about a month ago, being really new not just to the site but also to BDSM and D/s relationships.
I spoke to a few Doms back then, a couple rude from the get go so those conversations didnt last long at all, one a gentle man who seemed sweet and caring however there was just something missing for me at least in our conversations and lastly someone with whom I felt a connection, he came across as respectful, polite and knew what he wanted. He was the one who initiated our contact, I was very candid with him from the beginning, I live in London, I am unable to have children anymore, he knew both of these things and still decided to continue with our conversations, there was something about him that set off a spark in me, we seemed well suited from our likes and dislikes. He wanted to get straight into a D/s relationship, which being a novice I saw nothing wrong with, we had chatted and agreed on our likes and dislikes, he had told me about his rules and they were not overwhelming and I felt i could easily follow them. We got on so well , I was able to talk to him about anything and felt I could open up to him about anything, he opened up to me about things in his life too. There was a strong attraction from both of us, at least that's how it felt and a desire to build on what we had. He mentioned one time about travelling and we spoke about it as something we would be willing to do once our relationship was more established, he lives in the USA so there is a 6 hr difference between us. The distance of course wasnt ideal but both of us felt it was something we would be able to deal with and had spoken about planning to meet up in a few months, if we had worked out I would have been able to relocate. I was totally happy to be his sub and he seemed happy being my dom, then one day a few weeks in, he tells me that the frustration of not being able to touch me was too much for him and also he wanted children it was a big desire for him. The first I felt I could do something about, however the second there was nothing I could do about, I suggested surrogacy but this was not something he was considering to even think about. Leaving me with no option but to offer him an out, to go find someone closer to him, who would be able to have children, which he took, he didnt even have to think for a second about it and just like that we were done. I did ask him if he knew these things why he had continued to want to build a relationship with me and his reply was that he just wanted to feel what it was like to be in a relationship again. I had made the noob mistake of submitting to someone way too quickly without really understanding their motives. Don't get me wrong I bare him no ill will and hope that he does indeed find the happiness he desires. I just wish that not all the lessons we learn were such bitter pills to swallow, and that all Doms were to take submission more seriously. To take someone on and then ditch them just because of something you yourself have no control over, is harsh to say the least. This is a huge chip on my shoulder I despise any so called domminant who leads on a submissive like this. if a "dom" is too indcesive about wanting a sub they can't have a kids with why the fuck are they talking to that sub of relationships at all. they are in a postistions where supposedlly we are supposed to put or trust in them I don't trust cowards and thats excatelly what that kind of guy is in my eyes hell my opinion would be the same for female or anthing else. |
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Bunnie
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5 years ago •
Jun 17, 2018
Ouch. I’m really sorry that this happened to you, Channa. I thought I had ceased to be shocked by people until I came here. I’m amazed at the way some people treat others in the name of “bdsm.” In my eyes, they’re hiding under a false banner, because none of those behaviours align with the bdsm that I’m aware of, and love. Thank you for sharing your experience with us to help spread the awareness of these things occurring... I hope it was cathartic for you. Good luck with everything, I hope your next experience brings a smile to your face.
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Hawkeye
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5 years ago •
Jun 17, 2018
The ability to learn from the past determines your future.
Many more fish in the pond. Keep casting. |
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